Dracula: Who am I? Gilles de Rais, Vlad Tepes, El Hazarid... Dagobert, Proximus, Uther, Caligula... [sigh] Dracula: ... ah... Iscariot... and so many more that I've long forgotten.
2
Dracula: So noble what you said to the girl. About the sunlight purging her of evil. But she's too far gone and you know it. You know she will die. Father Uffizi: Better by her own hand than mine. Dracula: I like that. You're more ruthless than I am.
3
Kenny: How much more real does it have to get? Lowell: We know he's alive, Kenny. We just don't know what's keeping him alive. Eric: Or if that essence can be safely transferred to another person. Kenny: I just got through planting my best friend in someone's backyard. Excuse me if I don't give a shit. So unless this essence of yours can bring her back, I just want to get my money and get the hell out of here. Lowell: Tanya's dead. It doesn't work on dead cells. Kenny: No? How does it work then, Lowell? Does it work on diseased cells? Would it work on that? How about cells from some poor palsy piece of shit in a wheelchair who... [shouts] Kenny: Oh, my God! That's you! Lowell: You're missing the big picture here. Kenny: Sure, Lowell. You won't be just sitting there with your Nobel prize, you'll be dancing with it.
4
Tanya: Maybe we need virgin blood. Kenny: [rolls eyes] Why? Tanya: Didn't Elizabeth Bathory always bathe in virgin blood? Elizabeth Blaine: No, no. Because when my blood touched its skin, it reacted. Kenny: There goes the virgin theory.
5
Eric: [about to be bitten] Go on. I'll just live forever. Dracula: Ah, but will you want to? [bites off Eric's face]
6
[Elizabeth is taking a blood sample from Dracula.] Dracula: Erzabet... "oath of God" in Hebrew. Is it not? The noble caretaker of the dead, giving names to the nameless, and now taker of blood. [Elizabeth is surprised that Dracula has no more blood] Dracula: What's wrong, bloodsucker? Did you think my blood would be limitless? Better that you protect what you already have than to seek more where there is none.
7
Kenny: It won't change who you are. It'll just make you better. Hell, it'll turn you into fuckin' Superman! Luke: Or pure refried evil. Elizabeth Blaine: Where you have been? Luke: [pulling out bottles of water] Shopping. Kenny: You know, evil is just a state of mind, fella. Lowell: He's right. In clinical studies, it is completely irrelevant. Luke: Is it? Is this the new you, Lowell? Here's the new you on holy water. [Luke pours holy water on Lowell's skin sample soaked with vampire blood and it stars fizzing.] Kenny: It's acid. You threw fucking acid on it! [Luke drinks the holy water] Kenny: So, what are you saying? Luke: What I'm saying, Kenny, is that thing out there is a monster. And I'm no better than you, because I'm the one who stole it. But don't pretend it's something else. You know what it is.
8
Lowell: Okay. We all know it's a vampire. Nobody's kidding themselves here. The trick is to separate the diseased vector - the evil, if you will - from the healthy one. Eric: Right. Like a vaccine. When you take what makes you sick and you turn it into a cure.
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