Morticia: Don't torture yourself, Gomez. That's my job.
(3 votes)
2
Gomez: We danced the Mamushka while Nero fiddled, we danced the Mamushka at Waterloo. We danced the Mamushka for Jack the Ripper, and now, Fester Addams, this Mamushka is for you.
3
[Wednesday is hooking up an electric chair] Wednesday: Pugsley, sit in the chair. Pugsley: Why? Wednesday: Because we're going to play a game. Pugsley: What game? Wednesday: [strapping him in] It's called, "Is There a God?"
4
Pugsley: Are they dead? Wednesday: Does it matter?
5
Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons? Wednesday: Yes. Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons? Pugsley: Yes. Girl Scout: I'll tell you what. I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal? Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?
6
Gomez: That's the spirit, Thing! Lend a hand!
7
[Watching Pugsley sleep] Morticia: He looks so sweet. Looks just like a little entree.
8
Morticia: Children, what are you doing? Wednesday: I'm going to electrocute him. Morticia: But we're late for the charity auction. Wednesday: But, Mother... Morticia: I said no. Pugsley: Pleeaaaase? Morticia: Oh, all right.
9
Morticia: Thing, you're a handful.
10
Wednesday: Please pass the salt. Morticia: And what do we say? Wednesday: NOW.
11
Morticia: Wednesday, play with your food!
12
Gomez: How long has it been since we waltzed? Morticia: Oh, Gomez... hours.
13
Gomez: They say that a man who represents himself in court has a fool for a client. And with God as my witness, I am that fool!
14
Gomez: 2, 10, 11. Eyes, fingers, toes!
15
Morticia: Gomez, last night - you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. - Do it again!
16
Dr. Pinderschloss: The human spirit, it is a very difficult thing to kill. Grandmama: Even with a chain saw!
17
Dr. Pinderschloss: Love/hate, hate/love. Like for mama, no? Gomez: I did not hate my mother. It was an accident!
18
[as they examine a rare and valueable heirloom Morticia is about to donate to charity] Grandmama: Let's keep it! Morticia: Hush, mama! It's for charity! Widows and orphans. We need more of them.
19
[Looking for something in a closet] Morticia: Uncle Nick-Nack's winter wardrobe. Uncle Nick-Nack's summer wardrobe. Uncle Nick-Nack.
20
Morticia: Margaret, about the séance tonight, I wish you'd come. It's Gomez. I'm terribly worried about him. He won't eat, he can't sleep, he keeps coughing up blood. Margaret: He coughs up blood? Morticia: Well, not like he used to.
21
Wednesday: I'm a homicidal maniac, they look just like everyone else.
22
Margaret: Everyone keeps asking where he got his costume. Gomez: It is a wonderful hat.
Sally Jessy Raphael: So, you say your son was kidnapped by voodoo witch doctors? Let's take a call. Gomez: Hello, Sally? Sally Jessy Raphael: Mr. Addams, please stop calling! We do not know where they meet!
25
Morticia: Gomez, let's go for a drive. The whole family. Gomez: A drive? And miss Gilligan?
26
Uncle Fester: Haven't you ever slaughtered anyone before? Wednesday: He's only a child. Uncle Fester: That's no excuse. Aim for a major artery. The jugular.
27
Gomez: [watching home movies] You remember that fateful night? Uncle Fester: Um... Your first cigar! Gomez: What? Come on, Old Man, I've smoked since I was 5. Mother insisted.
28
Margaret: This is always so embarrassing. Why did I marry you? Tully Alfford: Because I said yes.
29
Judge: [after a golf ball is hit through his window] Damn you, Addams! Gomez: Sorry about the window, Judge. Keep the ball, I have a whole bucket full. Judge: You moron!
30
[Pugsley is strapped to a pole, mumbling urgently around an apple in his mouth] Wednesday: Don't be a baby. I know what I'm doing. [She levels a crossbow]
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