Other Titles • Bushwhacked (1995) • The Tenderfoot • Tenderfoots • more
Quotes from Bushwhacked (1995)
1
[Boys are peeing off of a ledge] Max: Shake your lizards, let 'em drain. Move your hips and... Everyone: Spell your name! Max: Send it straight, send it hard. Now a sword fight, go... Everyone: On guard! Max: Eat your veggies, eat your starches. Lean back boys... Everyone: Golden arches! Max: Alright! Now flip them and zip them and let's get going!
2
[little kid rides up on a tricycle] Kid: Can I play too? Scouts: AAAAHHHH! Barnhill: Little kid, go home. Gordy: We're not playing, we're practicing. Kid: You guys are silly.
3
[looking at a Playboy] Ralph: Whoa! I bet you've never seen anything like this before, huh, Barnhill. You probably don't even know about the birds and the bees your butthead. Kelsey: Oh, and you do? Ralph: Yeah. That's right, I do. Kelsey: Oh yeah? Go ahead and explain it to us. Ralph: Uh, I know it's about making babies. And I know it takes a man AND a woman to make it work right. And they both have to go into a room. And they both take their shirts off. Fishman: No, no, no. The man doesn't have to take his shirt off. Just the woman!
4
Barnhill: Hey! Check it out! Len Strader's in her underwear! Dana: Let me see! Barnhill: Sorry. She just ducked behind McClipman's house. Dana: Barnhill, you're such a liar. Barnhill: You're such a shrimp.
5
[Gordy's hanging from a ledge] Max: Hey kid, how's it hanging? Alright, Gordy, I'm coming down to get you. Gordy: No! You don't know what you're doing! Max: Of course I do! I'm the Lizard! Remember? Gordy: You mean the Spider? Max: Right.
6
Gordy: My mom says the guy who's taking us has hiked all over the world. Barnhill: I'm sure he won't be half as good as the guy me and my dad had on our trip to the Serengeti. Ralph: Barnhill, if you're dad is so friggin' cool, then why isn't he our scout leader? Barnhill: Oh yeah. Spies have a lot of time for the scouts.
7
Ralph: Nice dolls. Barnhill: Did you bring a pretty pink umbrella too, in case it starts to rain? Kelsey: No, I figured we could all just crouch under a pair of your underwear and wait it out.
8
Fishman: Well guys, we gotta start a fire. Better start looking for pinecones. Max: Pinecones? Fishman: It says in the manual, whenever your camp is surrounded by green wood, always use pinecones to start your fire. Max: If the manual told you to stick your wiener in a light-socket, would you do it?
9
Ralph: We finally get to go on an overnight, and we end up at Grand Central Station. Gordy: It's better than my backyard. Ralph: Not by much.
10
[On the phone] Marty: Grabelski! What the hell's going on? Some guy on TV said you killed somebody! Max: I know, but it's not true. I was set up. I gotta know if there's another package for Timberline Inc., to Reinhart Bragdon. Marty: What the hell's Reinhart Bragdon got to do with anything? Max: Because that's the guy I killed! Marty: Oh, so you did kill somebody. Max: No, I told you I was framed!
11
Mr. Erickson: God bless those little scouts! Agent Palmer: What? What do you see? Mr. Erickson: Smoke signals! Right by the book. Agent Palmer: Oh, yeah! Mr. Erickson: Well, almost. Agent Palmer: What do they say? Mr. Erickson: Belp! Belp!
12
Max: Look, Kelsey, there's nothing wrong with being a little afraid. Fishman: Spider, I'm scared, too. Max: Will you shut up, you gutless coward? I'm talkin' to her!
13
Max: Now you are going to pretend to be me. Jack Erickson: Get yourself fucked boy. Max: Gimme that glue! Jack Erickson: You still have a chance to be a FINE YOUNG SCOUT! Max: WHERE IS THAT GLUE? Jack Erickson: Top pocket. Max: Put your palms up [spits off the top of the glue and spreads glue on the wheel] Max: Now grab hold of the wheel. Jack Erickson: ARE YOU NUTS? Max: I said grab the wheel. Come on, I have a gun for Christ sake! Jack Erickson: You're going to pay for this mister Max: [spreads glue on top of the wheel] Now put your chin there Jack Erickson: You know this stuff is permanent. Max: Do it! Jack Erickson: Ohh sh... Hey! I can't drive like this! Max: Keep heading south and don't stop driving until you get to Mexico and I'm going to be right behind you the whole time [removes the rear view mirror] Max: Don't try any funny and I'll blow your butt off, got it? Jack Erickson: Yeah I got it, keep driving, no funny stuff, blow butt off. Max: [hesitates then answers] Right!
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