Charlotte 'Charlie' Cantilini: What colour are my eyes? Dr. Kevin Fields: Well, at first glance your eyes are brown. But when the light hits them, they change to amber. And if you look really close around the iris, the colour is pure honey. But when you look into the sun, they almost look green. That's my favourite.
(12 votes)
2
Viola Fields: [Ruby and Viola arguing at the car] What's wrong with you? Ruby: I am sick. I am sick, sick, sick of your shit. And when I'm not sick, I'm tired. I am sick and tired!
(12 votes)
3
Ruby: Fix your hair. You look like a damn cockatoo.
(9 votes)
4
Charlotte 'Charlie' Cantilini: [after Viola throws her wedding dress out of the car] Motherfu-!
(9 votes)
5
[Viola has a hissy fit] Ruby: [departing with the champagne] Gonna need something stronger than this.
(7 votes)
6
Ruby: [fighting Viola for the nut-tainted gravy] I think you dislocated my vagina.
(2 votes)
7
Dr. Kevin Fields: What are you doing the rest of your life?
8
Viola Fields: The flower girls are drunk again!
9
[trying on and ripping a dress that's too small] Charlotte 'Charlie' Cantilini: Oh, man! I've got *two* asses!
10
Charlotte 'Charlie' Cantilini: And about the holidays... Viola Fields: Are you gonna keep me away? Charlotte 'Charlie' Cantilini: You must be present for every Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthday, school play, clarinet recital, and soccer game in our kids' lives. I want you to love them, and spoil them and teach them things that Kevin and I can't. Like how to throw a right hook for example. I want you there, Viola. I do, up front and center. From this point i will not negotiate. Ruby: Damn, that girl can give a nice little speech!
11
Viola Fields: I cannot believe she compared me to Gertrude! Ruby: I know. Now that's just wrong. Viola Fields: Thank You. Ruby: You are far worse. I don't recall Gertrude ever trying to poison you. And I'm pretty sure she wore black to your wedding. Viola Fields: Black. Yeah, she said she was in mourning. I just want my son to be happy. Ruby: Whatever made you think he wasn't?
12
Viola Fields: What do you do for fun? Pop Star: I love watching really old movies. They're my favorite. Viola Fields: Really? Really? Which ones? Pop Star: Well, "Grease" and "Grease II." Um, "Benji." I love "Benji." "Free Willy," um..."Legally Blonde," "The Little Mermaid."
13
Charlotte 'Charlie' Cantilini: [after Fiona tells Charlie that Kevin is gay] I used to have such good gaydar.
14
Viola Fields: Let's go someplace near the ocean and drink lunch.
15
Charlotte 'Charlie' Cantilini: [after secretly spying on Viola's meeting with her doctor] Bad day, my ass!
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