Other Titles • Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) • Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: The IMAX Experience
Quotes from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
1
Willy Wonka: Good morning, starshine... the earth says hello!
(285 votes)
2
Willy Wonka: Everything in this room is *eat*able. Even I'm *eat*able. But that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.
(199 votes)
3
Willy Wonka: [referring to Violet getting the gum] I'd rather you didn't. There's still one or two things that are a little... Violet Beauregarde: I'm the World Record holder of chewing gum. I'm not afraid of anything! [pops gum into her mouth] Mrs. Beauregarde: How is it honey? Violet Beauregarde: It's amazing! Tomato soup, I can feel it running down my throat! Willy Wonka: Yeah! Spit it out! Grandpa Joe: Young lady, I think you better... Violet Beauregarde: It's changing... roast beef and baked potato. Crispy skin and butter! Mrs. Beauregarde: Keep chewin' kiddo! My daughter's gonna be the first person in the world with a chewing gum meal! Willy Wonka: Yeah. I'm just concerned about the... Violet Beauregarde: Blueberry pie and Ice Cream! Willy Wonka: That part. Veruca Salt: [Veruca stares at Violet] What's happening to her nose? [Violet keeps chewing] Veruca Salt: [Nose starts turning purple] Mr. Salt: You're turning blue! Mrs. Beauregarde: Your whole nose has gone purple! Violet Beauregarde: [touching nose] What do you mean? Mrs. Beauregarde: Violet... you're turning Violet! [Violet scared; turns to Wonka] Mrs. Beauregarde: [concerned] What's happening? Willy Wonka: Well, I told you I haven't gotten it quite right because it always goes a little funny when it gets to the dessert. It's the Bluberry Pie that doesn't... I'm terribly sorry! [Violet turns purple] Violet Beauregarde: Mother, what's happening to me? [Violet continues turning purple] Violet Beauregarde: [Violet starts growing] Grandpa Joe: She's swelling up! Charlie Bucket: Like a Blueberry! [Violet continues to grow] Willy Wonka: [to Mrs. Beauregarde] I've tried it on like twenty Oompa-Loompas and each one ended up as a Blueberry. It's just weird! Mrs. Beauregarde: But I can't have a Blueberry as a daughter. How is she supposed to compete? Veruca Salt: You can put her in a county fair! [Mrs. Beauregarde looks at Veruca viciously] Veruca Salt: [Willy laughs]
(184 votes)
4
Mike Teavee: Who wants a beard? Willy Wonka: Well, beatniks for one, folk singers and motorbike riders. Y'know. All those hip, jazzy, super cool, neat, keen, and groovy cats. It's in the fridge, daddy-o! Are you hip to the jive? Can you dig what I'm layin' down? I knew that you could. Slide me some skin, soul brother!
(139 votes)
5
Grandpa Joe: I used to work at that factory. Charlie Bucket: You did? Grandma Josephine: He did. Grandpa George: He did. Grandma Georgina: I like grapes.
(115 votes)
6
Grandma Georgina: You smell like peanuts. I like peanuts. Willy Wonka: You smell like old people... and soap. I like it.
(26 votes)
7
Mr. Salt: Are you using the Havermax 4000 to do your sorting? Willy Wonka: No. [laughs] Willy Wonka: You're really weird.
(23 votes)
8
Welcome Puppets: Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka, the amazing chocolatier / Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka, everybody give a cheer / He's modest, clever, and so smart, he barely can restrain it / With so much generosity, there is no way to contain it, to contain it, to contain... to contain... to contain... / Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka, he's the one that you're about to meet / Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka, he's a genius who just can't be beat / The magician and the chocolate whiz / The best darn guy who ever lived / Willy Wonka, here he is!
(20 votes)
9
Violet Beauregarde: [after stretching into a pretzel shape] Look mother, I'm much more flexible now. Mrs. Beauregarde: [disapprovingly] Yes, but you're blue.
(18 votes)
10
Willy Wonka: And in that moment I realised; "I must find a... heir/hair".
(17 votes)
11
Willy Wonka: Let's put him in the taffy puller. Mr. Teavee: The taffy puller? Willy Wonka: Hey! That was my idea.
(15 votes)
12
Willy Wonka: You can't have your family hanging over you like an old, dead goose. No offense. Grandpa George: None taken. Jerk.
(14 votes)
13
Veruca Salt: I'm Veruca Salt. It's very nice to meet you, sir. [does a curtsy] Willy Wonka: I always thought a verruca was a type of wart you got on the bottom of your foot. Ha.
(14 votes)
14
Veruca Salt: Daddy! I want a flying glass elevator! Get me a flying glass elevator!
(17 votes)
15
Willy Wonka: If you had to choose only one half of your son, which one would it be? Mr. Teavee: What kind of question is that? Willy Wonka: No need to snap. Just a question.
(12 votes)
16
Mike Teavee: Why is everything here completely pointless? Charlie Bucket: Candy doesn't have to have a point. That's why it's candy.
(12 votes)
17
Willy Wonka: [hiding behind a newspaper while Charlie shines his shoes] Too bad about that chocolate guy. Walter... er, Waldo... Charlie Bucket: Willy Wonka. Willy Wonka: Right, him. Did you ever meet him? Charlie Bucket: I met him. I thought he was great at first. Then he didn't turn out that nice. And he has a funny haircut. Willy Wonka: [throwing the newspaper down] I do not!
(12 votes)
18
Dr. Wonka: All these years, and you haven't flossed. Willy Wonka: Not once.
(13 votes)
19
Willy Wonka: You're all quite short, aren't you? Violet Beauregarde: Well yeah, we're children. Willy Wonka: Well that's no excuse. I was never as short as you Mike Teavee: You were once. Willy Wonka: Was not. Know why? Because I distinctly remember putting a hat on top of my head. Look at your short little arms. You could never reach.
(11 votes)
20
Willy Wonka: I'm sorry, I was just having a flashback. Mr. Teavee: These flashbacks happen often? Willy Wonka: Yes... increasingly... today.
(11 votes)
21
Grandpa George: You don't know what we're talking about. Grandma Georgina: [after a moment] Dragonflies?
(11 votes)
22
Willy Wonka: Ew, somebody grab him.
(12 votes)
23
Augustus Gloop: [Augustus steps in front of Veruca] I'm Augustus Gloop. I love your chocolate. Willy Wonka: I can see that. So do I. I never expected to have so much in common. [Wonka stops and turns around to Mike] Willy Wonka: You, you're Mike Teavee. You're the little devil who cracked the system. [looks at Charlie] Willy Wonka: And you, you're just lucky to be here, aren't you?
(11 votes)
24
Mrs. Beauregarde: What do you use Hair Cream for? Willy Wonka: To lock in moisture. [primps hair]
(9 votes)
25
Charlie Bucket: [after finding out he's serving Mr. Wonka] Why are you here? Willy Wonka: I don't feel so hot.
(9 votes)
26
Willy Wonka: [sorting through a big bunch of keys] There it is. There it isn't.
(8 votes)
27
Shopkeeper: You found Wonka's last golden ticket!
(10 votes)
28
Charlie Bucket: [on chocolate river, deep in factory, passing an open door in which Oompa-Loompas are whipping a cow] Whipped cream. Willy Wonka: Exactly! Veruca Salt: That doesn't make any sense. Willy Wonka: For your information, little girl, whipped cream isn't whipped cream at all unless it's been whipped with whips. Everybody knows that.
(11 votes)
29
Grandpa George: The kids who are going to find the golden tickets are the ones who can afford to buy candy bars every day. Our Charlie only gets one a year. He doesn't have a chance. Grandma Josephine: Everyone has a chance, Charlie. Grandpa George: Mark my words. The first kid to find a golden ticket will be fat, fat, fat. Augustus Gloop: [Augustus appears and cameras flash] I am eating the Wonka bar and I taste something that is not chocolate. Or coconut. Or walnut, or peanut butter, or caramel. Or sprinkles. So I look and I find the golden ticket. Grandpa George: [the Bucket home sees the TV with Augustus on the screen] Told you he'd be a porker.
(7 votes)
30
Oompa Loompa: [Oompa Loompas start singing] Listen close, listen hard / The tale of Violet Beauregarde / This dreadful girl she sees no wrong / Chewing, chewing, chewing, chewing, chewing, chewing all day long / Chewing, chewing all day long / Chewing, chewing all day long / Chewing, chewing all day long / She goes on chewing till at last / Her chewing muscles grow so fast / From her face her giant chin / Sticks out just like a violin / Chewing, chewing all day long / Chewing, chewing all day long / Chewing, chewing all day long / Oompa Loompa, Oompa Loompa, Oompa Loompa, Oompa Loompa/ For years and years she chews away / Her jaws get stronger every day / And with one great tremendous chew / They bite the poor girl's tongue in two / And that is why we try so hard / To save Miss Violet Beauregarde / Chewing, chewing all day long / Chewing, chewing all day long / Chewing, chewing all day long./ Chewing, chewing all day long./ Chewing, chewing all day long./ Blueberry Violet: Mr. Wonka! [Oompa Loompas stop singing] Willy Wonka: [to Oompa Loompa] I want you to roll Ms. Beaurgarde to the boat and take her to the Juicing Room at once. 'Kay? [Oompa Loompa does signature hand lock] Mrs. Beauregarde: The Juicing room? What are they gonna do to her there? Willy Wonka: They're gonna squeeze her. Like a little pimple. We've gotta squeeze all that juice out of her immediately. [Mrs. Beauregarde runs up to Blueberry Violet] Blueberry Violet: Mother, help me. Please! [Mrs. Beauregarde pushes Blueberry Violet into door] Willy Wonka: [looks at everyone] Come on... Let's boogie!
(7 votes)
31
Violet Beauregarde: Are they real people? Willy Wonka: Of course they're real people. They're Oompa Loompas. Mr. Salt: Oompa Loompas? Willy Wonka: Imported. Straight from Loompaland. Mr. Teavee: There's no such place. Willy Wonka: What? Mr. Teavee: Mr Wonka, I teach high school geography, and I'm here to tell you... Willy Wonka: Well, then, you'll know all about it and oh what a terrible country it is.
(8 votes)
32
Charlie Bucket: But it didn't close forever, it's open right now. Mrs. Bucket: Ah, well, sometimes when grown ups say forever they mean a very long time. Grandpa George: Such as I feel as though I've eaten nothing but cabbage soup forever. Mr. Bucket: Now pops... Charlie Bucket: But there must be people working there. Grandma Josephine: Think about it, Charlie. Have you ever seen a single person going into that factory? Or coming out of it? Charlie Bucket: No. The gates are always closed. Grandpa George: Exactly. Charlie Bucket: But then, who's running the machines? Mrs. Bucket: Nobody knows Charlie. Mr. Bucket: It certainly is a mystery. Charlie Bucket: Hasn't someone asked Mr Wonka? Grandpa Joe: No-one sees him any more. He never comes out. The only thing that comes out of that place is the candy. Already packed and addressed. I'd give anything in the world just to go in one more time and see what's become of that amazing factory.
(7 votes)
33
Mrs. Bucket: Well, nothing goes better with cabbage than cabbage.
(7 votes)
34
Mr. Salt: [as the squirrels take Veruca] Where are they taking her? Willy Wonka: Where all the other bad nuts go to, to the garbage chute. Mr. Salt: Where does the chute go? Willy Wonka: ...To the incinerator. But don't worry, we only light it on tuesdays. Mike Teavee: Today IS Tuesday. Willy Wonka: [after a pause] Well, there's always a chance they decided not to light it today...
(6 votes)
35
Willy Wonka: This is the puppet hospital and burns center. It's relatively new.
(6 votes)
36
Willy Wonka: [bangs into his elevator] I've got to be more careful where I park this thing.
(6 votes)
37
Grandma Georgina: [the glass elevator crashes through Charlie's house] I think someone's at the door!
(6 votes)
38
Mrs. Beauregarde: [after Violet has turned into a blueberry] I can't have a blueberry for a daughter. How is she supposed to compete? Veruca Salt: You could put her in a county fair.
(6 votes)
39
Willy Wonka: Why, I believe they're going to treat us to a little song. It is quite a special occasion, of course. They haven't had a fresh audience in many a moon. Oompa Loompa: [Oompa Loompas sing] Augustus Gloop, Augustus Gloop, a great big greedy nincompoop / Augustus Gloop, so big and vile, so greedy, foul, and infantile...
(6 votes)
40
Violet Beauregarde: [hugs Wonka] Mr.Wonka, I'm Violet Beauregarde. Willy Wonka: [Wonka looks at her terrified as she chews her gum] Oh. I don't care. Violet Beauregarde: Well, you should care because I'm the girl who's gonna win the special prize at the end. Willy Wonka: Well, you do seem confident and confidence is key.
(6 votes)
41
Mike Teavee: [Great Gum Machine pops out a stick of gum] [machine dings] Mike Teavee: You mean that's it? Willy Wonka: Do you even know what it is? Violet Beauregarde: It's gum. Willy Wonka: Yeah! It's a stick of the most amazing and sensational gum in the whole universe. [out of breath] Willy Wonka: Know why? Know why? 'Cause this gum is a full three-course dinner all by itself. [laughs] Mr. Salt: Why would anyone want that? Willy Wonka: [flipping through flash cards] It will be the end of all kitchens and all cooking. Just a little strip of Wonka's Magic Chewing Gum is all you... [flips through cards again] Willy Wonka: ... ever need at breakfast, lunch and dinner. This piece of gum happens to be tomato soup, roast beef and Blueberry Pie. Grandpa Joe: It sounds great! Veruca Salt: It sounds weird. Violet Beauregarde: It sounds like my kind of gum.
(7 votes)
42
Charlie Bucket: Are the Oompa Loompas really joking, grandpa? Grandpa Joe: Of course they're joking. That boy will be fine.
(7 votes)
43
Willy Wonka: [Getting his shoes shined by Charlie, with a paper in his face] Pity about that chocolate maker- Wedle... um... Walter... Charlie Bucket: Willy Wonka. Willy Wonka: Yeah, him. Says here that his candies aren't selling. But I guess he's just a rotten egg that deserves it. Charlie Bucket: Yep. Willy Wonka: Oh Ever met him? Charlie Bucket: I did once. He seemed great at first, but then he didn't turn out so nice. And he has a funny haircut. Willy Wonka: [Throws paper down] I do not! Charlie Bucket: Why are you here? Willy Wonka: I don't feel so hot. What makes you feel better when you feel bad? Charlie Bucket: My family. [Wonka groans] Charlie Bucket: What have you got against my family? Willy Wonka: It not just your family, its the whole idea of p... p... You know, they're always telling you what to do, what not to do. It's not conducive to a creative atmosphere. Charlie Bucket: Most of the time their just trying to protect you. [Wonka looks away] Charlie Bucket: If you don't believe me, you should ask. Willy Wonka: Ask who, my father? Yeah right. [pause] Willy Wonka: At least not alone. Charlie Bucket: Would you like me to go with you? Willy Wonka: Hey! What a great idea! Yeah! [stands up] Willy Wonka: And I've brought transporta- [chrashes into Great Glass Elevator] Willy Wonka: . [after he gets up] Willy Wonka: I really need to watch where I park this thing.
(5 votes)
44
Willy Wonka: I sure hope no part of him gets left behind. Mr. Teavee: What do you mean? Willy Wonka: Well, sometimes only half of the little pieces find their way through. Willy Wonka: If you had to choose only one half of your son, which one would it be? Mr. Teavee: What kind of a question is that? Willy Wonka: No need to snap, just a question.
(5 votes)
45
Mike Teavee: You really don't understand anything about science do you? First off, WAVES are different then PARTICLES. DUH! Second, the amount of force it would take to convert mass into energy would be on the scale of 9 atomic bombs.
(5 votes)
46
Violet Beauregarde: [after Oompa Loompas stopped Singing] Mr. Wonka! [Voice deepened, after being swollen up like a blueberry] Violet Beauregarde: What are they, going to do to her now? Willy Wonka: [Willy asks the Oompa Loompa] Would you roll, Ms. Beauregarde onto the boat, to the juicing room immediately. OK? Mrs. Beauregarde: The juicing room? What's that going to do her, there? Willy Wonka: It will squeeze her like a little pimple, to get all of the juice out. Violet Beauregarde: [Deep Voice] Mother, help me please!
(6 votes)
47
Mike Teavee: [starts stomping on a candy pumpkin, completely destroying it] Mr. Teavee: Son, please. Mike Teavee: Dad, he said, "Enjoy!"
(5 votes)
48
Dr. Wonka: Why, I haven't seen bicuspids like these since... [long pause] Dr. Wonka: ... Willy?
(5 votes)
49
Mike Teavee: [talking about the one piece of gum] That's it? Willy Wonka: Do you even know what *it* is?
(5 votes)
50
Narrator: Indeed, that very night, the impossible had already been set in motion.
(5 votes)
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