Other Titles • Fatal Game (1989) • Lethal Attraction (1989) • Westerberg High (1989)
Quotes from Heathers (1989)
1
Heather Chandler: You stupid fuck. Veronica Sawyer: You goddamn bitch. Heather Chandler: I brought you to a Remington party and what's my thanks? It's on a hallway carpet. I got paid in puke. Veronica Sawyer: Lick it up, baby. Lick. It. Up.
(29 votes)
2
Heather Duke: Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?
(29 votes)
3
"Dear diary. My teenage-angst bullshit has a body count." -- Veronica (WYNONA RYDER)
(28 votes)
4
Veronica Sawyer: Watch it Heather, you might be digesting food there. Heather McNamara: Yeah, where's your urge to purge? Heather Duke: Fuck it.
(26 votes)
5
Heather Chandler: Transfer to Washington. Transfer to Jefferson. No one at Westerberg is going to let you play their reindeer games.
(23 votes)
6
J.D.: People will look at the ashes of Westerburg and say, "Now there's a school that self-destructed, not because society didn't care, but because the school was society." Now that's deep.
(3 votes)
7
Heather Chandler: They all want me as a friend or a fuck. I'm worshiped at Westerburg and I'm only a junior.
(3 votes)
8
Veronica Sawyer: What is your damage, Heather?
(2 votes)
9
Heather Chandler: You blow it tonight, girl, and it's keggers with kids all next year.
(2 votes)
10
J.D.: I like it. It's got that it's-a-cruel-world-let's-throw-ourselves-in-the-abyss type ambience.
(2 votes)
11
J.D.: Our love is God, let's go get a Slushie.
(2 votes)
12
J.D.: Wanna go out tonight? Catch a movie? Miniature golf? Veronica Sawyer: I was thinking more along the lines of slitting Heather Duke's wrists open, making it look like suicide. J.D.: Ah, now you're talking. I can be up for that. I've already started underlining meaningful passages in her copy of Moby Dick, if you know what I mean.
(2 votes)
13
J.D.: Chaos was what killed the dinosaurs, darling
(3 votes)
14
Heather Chandler: You wanted to be a member of the most powerful clique in school. If I wasn't already the head of it, I'd want the same thing.
(1 vote)
15
Heather Chandler: Grow up Heather, bulimia's so '87.
(1 vote)
16
Veronica Sawyer: Dear Diary: Heather told me she teaches people "real life." She said, real life sucks losers dry. You want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly. I said, so, you teach people how to spread their wings and fly? She said, yes. I said, you're beautiful.
(1 vote)
17
Heather McNamara: It's your turn Heather. Heather Chandler: No, Heather, it's Heather's turn. Heather? Heather Duke: Sorry Heather.
(1 vote)
18
Veronica Sawyer: Heather, why can't you just be a friend? Why do you have to be such a mega-bitch? Heather Duke: Because I can be.
(1 vote)
19
Veronica Sawyer: Shit, Heather, I don't have anything against Martha Dunnstock. Heather Chandler: You don't have anything for her either. Come on. It will be very. The note will give her shower-nozzle masturbation material for weeks.
(1 vote)
20
Veronica Sawyer: All we want is to be treated like human beings, not to be experimented on like guinea pigs or patronized like bunny rabbits. Veronica's Dad: I don't patronize bunny rabbits.
(1 vote)
21
Kurt Kelly: Hey Ram, doesn't this cafeteria have a no fags allowed rule? J.D.: Well, they seem to have an open door policy for assholes though don't they?
(1 vote)
22
Principal: Now I've seen a lot of bullshit... angel dust, switchblades, sexually perverse photography involving tennis rackets...
23
Veronica Sawyer: It's one thing to want someone out of your life, but it's another thing to serve them a wake-up cup full of liquid drainer.
Geek: Ah, oh, uh! I like to suck big dicks. Or, uh... Mmmm! Mmmm! I can't get enough of 'em!
26
Veronica Sawyer: No, my life's not perfect... I don't really like my friends. J.D.: Yeah... I don't really like your friends either.
27
Veronica Sawyer: My parents wanted to move me into high school out of the sixth grade, but we decided to chuck the idea because I'd have trouble making friends, blah, blah, blah. Now blah, blah, blah is all I ever do. I use my grand IQ to decide what color lip gloss to wear in the morning and how to hit three keggers before curfew...
28
J.D.: This is Ohio. If you don't have a brewski in your hand you might as well be wearing a dress.
29
Veronica Sawyer: [writing in diary] Betty Finn was a true friend and I sold her out for a bunch of Swatch dogs and Diet Coke heads. Killing Heather would be like offing the wicked witch of the west... wait east. West! God! I sound like a fucking psycho.
30
Heather Duke: [playing croquet] So what are you gonna do Heather? Take two shots or send me out? Heather Chandler: Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast? First you ask if you can be red, knowing that I'm always red. [puts her croquet ball against Heather's and sends it flying] Heather Duke: Shit. Heather Chandler: It's your turn, Heather.
31
J.D.: [shows Heather pictures] Heather Duke: Me and Martha Dumptruck? Where did you get this? J.D.: I just had the nicest little chat with Ms. Dumptruck. Got along famously. It's kind of scary that everyone's got a little story to tell. You wanna see the canoeing shots? Heather Duke: What is this? Blackmail? [pause] Heather Duke: I'll give you a week?s lunch money. J.D.: I don't want your money. I want your strength. Westerburg does not need mushy togetherness. It needs a strong leader. Heather Chandler was that leader but... Heather Duke: But she couldn't handle it. J.D.: I think you can. Moby Dick is dunt. The white whale drank some bad plankton and splashed through a coffee table and now it's your turn to take the helm. Heather Duke: What about the photographs? J.D.: Oh, don't worry. I'll ask you to do me a favor. That will be one you'll enjoy. Then you'll get the negatives and everything back then. But in the meantime... strength. Here's a little gift. From Heather to Heather. J.D.: [gives her Heather Chandler's red hair bow]
32
Heather Chandler: Is this turnout weak or what? I had at least 70 more people at my funeral. Veronica Sawyer: Heather? Heather Chandler: God, Veronica. My afterlife is so boring. I have to sing Kumbaya one more time... Veronica Sawyer: What are you doing here? Heather Chandler: I made your favorite. Spaghetti. With lots of oregano. Dinner! Veronica Sawyer: [wakes up from dream]
33
Veronica Sawyer: Hey, Martha. My date for the prom kinda flaked out on me. I was wondering, If you weren't doing anything that night, maybe we could rent some new releases and pop some popcorn. Martha 'Dumptruck' Dunnstock: I'd like that. Veronica Sawyer: Yeah. Me too.
34
Veronica Sawyer: Great pate, mom, but I gotta motor if I wanna be ready for that party tonight.
35
Heather Chandler: You were nothing before you met me. You were playing Barbies with Betty Finn. You were a Bluebird. You were a Brownie. You were a Girl Scout Cookie.
36
Veronica's Dad: Will someone tell me why I smoke these damn things? Veronica Sawyer: Because you're an idiot. Veronica's Dad: Oh yeah, that's it.
37
Veronica Sawyer: This isn't just a spoke in my menstrual cycle.
38
Heather McNamara: Suicide is a private thing. Veronica Sawyer: You're throwing your life away to become a statistic on U. S. fucking A. Today; that's about the least private thing I can think of.
39
Veronica Sawyer: This may seem like a really stupid question... J.D.: There *are* no stupid questions. Veronica Sawyer: You inherit 5 million dollars the same day aliens land on the earth and say they're going to blow it up in 2 days. What do you do? J.D.: That's the stupidest question I've ever heard.
40
Courtney: If I got that money, I'd give it all to the homeless. Every cent. Veronica Sawyer: You're beautiful.
41
J.D.: The extreme always seems to make an impression.
42
Veronica Sawyer: I say we just grow up, be adults and die.
43
J.D.: Seven schools in seven states and the only thing different is my locker combination.
44
Veronica Sawyer: If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn't be a human being. You'd be a game-show host.
45
Veronica Sawyer: Dear Diary, my teen-angst bullshit now has a body count.
46
J.D.: The only place different social types can genuinely get along with each other is in heaven.
47
Veronica Sawyer: I just killed my best friend. J.D.: And your worst enemy. Veronica Sawyer: Same difference.
48
Veronica Sawyer: She's my best friend. God, I hate her.
49
Veronica Sawyer: You know what I want? [shoots J.D] Veronica Sawyer: Cool guys like you out of my life.
50
Heather Duke: Veronica, you look like hell. Veronica Sawyer: Yeah? I just got back.
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