High Aldwin: [throws an apple into the air which turns into a bird] Go in the direction the bird is flying! Burgelcutt: He's going back to village! High Aldwin: Ignore the bird. Follow the river.
(75 votes)
2
Sorsha: What are you looking at? Madmartigan: Your leg. I'd like to break it.
(82 votes)
3
Airk: Well, ha ha ha! Madmartigan. What'd you do this time? Madmartigan: Nothing you wouldn't have done in my place. Airk: I always knew you'd end up in a crow's cage. Madmartigan: Well at least I'm not down there herding sheep.
(72 votes)
4
Madmartigan: Let me out of here, Airk. Give me a sword, I'll win this war for you. Airk: I still serve Galadorn, you serve no one. Remember? Just sit in your coffin and rot. [Rides off] Madmartigan: I'll be around long after you're dead! When I get out of here, I'm gonna cut your head off and stick it on a pig pole!
(64 votes)
5
Willow: We need your help! Madmartigan: My help? Why? You're a sorcerer. Willow: You're a warrior and a swordsman. And you're 10 times bigger than I am, Stupid!
(67 votes)
6
Llug: Wanna breed? Madmartigan: [disguised as Hilda] Tempting... but No.
(9 votes)
7
Willow: See this acorn? I'll throw it at you and turn you to stone! Madmartigan: Ooh, I'm really scared. Help! There's a peck with an acorn pointed at me!
(8 votes)
8
Madmartigan: What happened back there? Willow: You started spouting poetry. "I love you Sorsha! I worship you Sorsha!" You almost got us killed! Madmartigan: "I love you Sorsha?" I don't love her, she kicked me in the face! I hate her... Don't I?
(6 votes)
9
Madmartigan: [crying] I guess I am gonna die here. Who cares? Willow: [offers him a cup of water] Here. Madmartigan: [Immediately recovering] Thanks, friend. Willow: What's that? [Sees a mass of soldiers on horses approaching] Madmartigan: I'd say 2-300 horses, five or six wagons and about a thousand fools.
(6 votes)
10
Madmartigan: Mumbo, Jumbo, I am hungry. Go get me some eggs or something. Franjean: We are not afraid of you! Madmartigan: NOW! [Franjean and Rool race off]
(5 votes)
11
Franjean: You are drunk, and when you are drunk you forget that I am in charge! Rool: Fine, then which way should we go? Together: That way!
(5 votes)
12
Soldier: Outta the way, Peck!
(4 votes)
13
Madmartigan: [about Alora Dannen] She is cute... When she's quiet. Willow: She's really a princess. Madmartigan: Really? And you're a great sorcerer. And I'm the king of Cashmir. Go to sleep, Willow.
(4 votes)
14
Sorsha: What happened to "You are my sun, my moon, my starlit sky"? Madmartigan: It went away. Sorsha: "I dwell in darkness without you," and it *went away*?
(4 votes)
15
Willow: Don't call me a peck! Madmartigan: Oh I'm sorry! Peck! Peck! Peck, peck, peck, peck, peck!
(4 votes)
16
Madmartigan: What are you going to look like if this works? Fin Raziel: Don't interrupt. Madmartigan: Sorry. Fin Raziel: I'm a young beautiful woman. Madmartigan: Concentrate, Willow!
(3 votes)
17
Madmartigan: Gentlemen, meet Lug.
(3 votes)
18
Willow: I found a boat. We're all set. Madmartigan: Good. Take these two lizards out and drown them. Rool: Lizards? Who you calling lizards? Grrr! Grrr! Your mother was a lizard!
(1 vote)
19
Rool: Rats! Big rats! Franjean: What? What? Oh, Rool, you and your stupid rat dreams.
(1 vote)
20
Willow: What are you doing? Madmartigan: I found some blackroot. She loves it. Willow: Blackroot? I'm the father of two children. You never, ever give a baby blackroot. Madmartigan: Well my mother raised me on blackroot. It's good for you. It put's hair on your chest, doesn't it, Sticks? Willow: Her name is not Sticks! She's Alora Dannen, the future empress of Tir Asleen and the last thing she's gonna want is a hairy chest!
(1 vote)
21
Willow: Madmartigan, you never, ever drive that fast with an infant! Madmartigan: I just saved that infant's life!
(1 vote)
22
Franjean: Don't I know you? I stole the baby from you while you were taking a peepee!
(3 votes)
23
Rool: You are so beautiful! Your eyes! Your whiskers! I must kiss you!
(1 vote)
24
[Upon meeting Fin Raziel, who had been transformed into a small animal] Rool: Thats Raziel? Franjean: I don't know, I expected something more grand, less... Rool: Fuzzy. Franjean: Fuzzy.
(1 vote)
25
Rool: We'll never catch up with those horses! Franjean: Then we will have to track them. Rool: That would take forever. Besides, even if we found them, they'd capture us, stick us in cages, torture us and then finally devour us! Franjean: Are you suggesting we go home? Rool: Nah, this is more fun. Franjean: All right, fine then. Come on!
(1 vote)
26
Willow: We found one of your babies in our village. Will you please take care of her? Airk: We're in battle, little ones. Find a woman to take care of her. Madmartigan: We thought you were a woman, Airk!
(1 vote)
27
Madmartigan: [He and Willow have entered an abandoned fortress] Why do I listen to you, Peck? "Everything will be alright once we get to Tir Asleen". Well the only army around here is the one that will ride across this valley and wipe us out! Willow: Cherlindrea said we'd be safe here. Madmartigan: Safe? Look at these people. This place is cursed, Peck. It's falling apart. Open your eyes. And it... [Steps in a pile of troll dung] Madmartigan: Trolls!
(1 vote)
28
Willow: Burglekutt, I'm gonna... Burgelcutt: You're gonna what? [Willow is silent] Burgelcutt: AH HA HA HA HA! Willow: Some day, Burglekutt! Some day!
(1 vote)
29
High Aldwin: I will consult the bones!
(1 vote)
30
Willow: I've sent her... I've sent her to a realm where evil cannot harm her! Bavmorda: That's impossible! There's no such place!
(1 vote)
31
[Willow has unknowingly turned Fin Rizelle into a goat] Fin Raziel: W-w-i-l-l-o-w! You i-i-i-i-d-iot!
(1 vote)
32
Franjean: Stupid dikini.
(1 vote)
33
Willow: Here are her changing rags and her milk bladder. Madmartigan: Any milk in there? Willow: It's for her! Madmartigan: I wouldn't steal from a baby. You worry too much, Peck. Meegosh: It's Willow!
(1 vote)
34
Willow: Burglekutt, you're troll dung! Madmartigan: Don't let him talk to you that way, Burglekutt!
(1 vote)
35
Cherlindrea: Elora Danan must survive. She must fulfill her destiny and destroy Queen Bavmorda. Her power grows like an evil plague. Unless she is stopped, Bavmorda will control the lives of your village, your children, everyone. All creatures of good heart need your help, Willow. The choice is yours.
(1 vote)
36
Madmartigan: Let me do that. Get away, rodents! Franjean: Take your hand off that! You leave that alone you stupid, fat Diakini!
(1 vote)
37
Queen Bavmorda: You dare to challenge me? You're not warriors! You're PIGS! [all the soldiers begin to turn into pigs] Queen Bavmorda: Pigs! Pigs! Pigs! YOU'RE ALL PIGS!
(1 vote)
38
Madmartigan: Burglekutt, let me out of here. I'll take care of the baby, I swear. Just let me out of here... Please. Vohnkar, let me borrow that spear just for a minute. Well... Well at least give me some water. Burglekutt, don't leave me alone here with these two! UHH! Well that was really stupid, Peck.
(1 vote)
39
High Aldwin: Magic is the bloodstream of the universe.
(1 vote)
40
Madmartigan: I love you Sorsha! Sorsha: Stop saying that!
(1 vote)
41
Fin Raziel: I have Cherlindrea's wand, Bavmorda!
(1 vote)
42
Willow: Don't feed black-root to the baby!
(1 vote)
43
Madmartigan: That's magic? It smells terrible. Willow: It's the life spark. It forms... Madmartigan: Well it stinks! This whole thing stinks!
(1 vote)
44
Madmartigan: Well, looks like I got you here. Franjean: You? What did you do? Rool: All you did was hang around and eat our eggs.
(1 vote)
45
Franjean: Don't play with that wand! It holds vast powers. Only a real sorcerer can use it, not a stupid peck like you.
(1 vote)
46
Willow: What's that? Madmartigan: Smells like a battle. Willow: I suppose you're a warrior. Madmartigan: I am the greatest swordsman that ever lived. Say, um, can I have some of that water?
(1 vote)
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