Other Titles • The Princess Bride • Die Braut des Prinzen (1988)
Quotes from The Princess Bride (1987)
1
Inigo Montoya: I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand? Westley: Do you always begin conversations this way?
(95 votes)
2
"Is this a kissing book?"--Grandson (Fred Savage) to his grandfather (Peter Falk)
(77 votes)
3
Inigo Montoya: That Vizzini, he can *fuss*. Fezzik: Fuss, fuss... I think he like to scream at *us*. Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no *harm*. Fezzik: He's really very short on *charm*. Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme. Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time. Vizzini: Enough of that. Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead? Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead. Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it. Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut? Vizzini: DYEEAAHHHHHH.
(76 votes)
4
"As you wish."--Westley (Cary Elwes)
(68 votes)
5
"Farm boy, fill these with water...please."--Buttercup (Robin Wright)
(71 votes)
6
"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."--Inigo to Count Rugen (Christopher Guest)
(21 votes)
7
Inigo Montoya: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father: prepare to die. Now, offer me money. [slices Count Rugen's cheek] Count Rugen: Yes. Inigo Montoya: Power too. Promise me that. [slices Count Rugen's other cheek] Count Rugen: All that I have and more. Please... Inigo Montoya: Offer me everything I ask for. Count Rugen: Any thing you want. Inigo Montoya: I want my father back, you son of bitch. [stabs and kills Count Rugan]
(19 votes)
8
[Fencing] Inigo Montoya: You are wonderful. Man in Black: Thank you; I've worked hard to become so. Inigo Montoya: I admit it, you are better than I am. Man in Black: Then why are you smiling? Inigo Montoya: Because I know something you don't know. Man in Black: And what is that? Inigo Montoya: I... am not left-handed. [Moves his sword to his right hand and gains an advantage] Man in Black: You are amazing. Inigo Montoya: I ought to be, after 20 years. Man in Black: Oh, there's something I ought to tell you. Inigo Montoya: Tell me. Man in Black: I'm not left-handed either. [Moves his sword to his right hand and regains his advantage]
(9 votes)
9
"There's a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It'd be a pity to damage yours."--Westley to Buttercup
(8 votes)
10
"Inconceivable!"--Vizzini
(8 votes)
11
"Have fun storming the castle!"--Miracle Max (Billy Crystal)
(6 votes)
12
Westley: Hear this now: I will always come for you. Buttercup: But how can you be sure? Westley: This is true love - you think this happens every day?
(6 votes)
13
Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you. Westley: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.
(4 votes)
14
Buttercup: You mock my pain. Westley: Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
(5 votes)
15
Inigo Montoya: Who are you? Westley: No one of consequence. Inigo Montoya: I must know... Westley: Get used to disappointment. Inigo Montoya: 'kay.
(5 votes)
16
Buttercup: We'll never survive. Westley: Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.
(3 votes)
17
[after Westley rescues her from the lightning quicksand] Buttercup: We'll never succeed. We may as well die here. Westley: No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt - no problem. There's a popping sound preceding each; we can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too. Buttercup: Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.'s? Westley: Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist. [Immediately, an R.O.U.S. attacks him]
(5 votes)
18
Prince Humperdinck: Surrender. Westley: You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.
(7 votes)
19
Buttercup: You can't hurt me. Westley and I are joined by the bonds of love. And you cannot track that, not with a thousand bloodhounds, and you cannot break it, not with a thousand swords.
(5 votes)
20
Inigo Montoya: I donna suppose you could espeed things up? Westley: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do. Inigo Montoya: I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only only waiting around to kill you. Westley: That does put a damper on our relationship.
(3 votes)
21
"Anybody want a peanut?"--Fezzik (André the Giant)
(2 votes)
22
"I'm not left-handed either."--Westley
(2 votes)
23
The Grandson: A book? Grandpa: That's right. When I was your age, television was called books. And this is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick, and I used to read it to your father. And today I'm gonna read it to you. The Grandson: Has it got any sports in it? Grandpa: Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles... The Grandson: Doesn't sound too bad. I'll try to stay awake. Grandpa: Oh, well, thank you very much, very nice of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming.
(2 votes)
24
Westley: We are men of action, lies do not become us.
(2 votes)
25
Vizzini: I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains. Westley: You're that smart? Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates? Westley: Yes. Vizzini: Morons.
(2 votes)
26
[Rugen has invited Humperdinck to watch Westley being tortured] Prince Humperdinck: Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work. But I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder, and Guilder to frame for it. I'm swamped. Count Rugen: Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything.
(2 votes)
27
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, if you please. Fezzik: EVERYBODY MOVE! Inigo Montoya: Thank you, Fezzik.
(2 votes)
28
"As you wish."--Grandfather
(1 vote)
29
Grandpa: [narrating] Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around. Buttercup: Farm boy, polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning. Westley: As you wish. Grandpa: [narrating] "As you wish" was all he ever said to her. Buttercup: Farm boy, fill these with water - please. Westley: As you wish. Grandpa: [narrating] That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying "As you wish", what he meant was, "I love you." And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back. Buttercup: Farm boy... fetch me that pitcher. [It's right over her head, so he has to stand next to her] Westley: As you wish. [Cut to them kissing] The Grandson: [interrupting] Hold it, hold it. What is this? Are you trying to trick me? Where's the sports? [suspiciously] The Grandson: Is this a kissing book? Grandpa: Wait, just wait. The Grandson: Well, when does it get good?
(2 votes)
30
"I won't be seeing you again, since I'm killing myself once we reach the honeymoon suite."--Buttercup to the king (Willoughby Gray)
31
"Won't that be nice..."--The king, obviously senile
32
"No more rhymes now...I mean it!"--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn)
33
"I admit it...you are better than I am."--Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin), regarding Westley's swordfighting technique
34
"Then why are you smiling?"--Westley
35
"Because I know something you don't know."--Inigo
36
"And what is that?"--Westley
37
"I...am not left-handed!"--Inigo, as he shifts his sword to his right hand
38
"You are amazing!"--Westley
39
"I ought to be...after 20 years."--Inigo
40
"Oh, there's something I ought to tell you."--Westley
41
"Tell me."--Inigo
42
"Grandpa, maybe you could come over and read it again tomorrow?"--Grandson
43
Westley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me? Buttercup: Well... you were dead. Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while. Buttercup: I will never doubt again. Westley: There will never be a need.
44
Miracle Max: You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.
45
[Buttercup kisses the senile King] The King: What was that for? Buttercup: Because you have always been so kind to me, and I won't be seeing you again since I'm killing myself once we reach the honeymoon suite. The King: Won't that be nice. She kissed me.
46
Vizzini: A word, my lady. We are but poor, lost circus performers. Is there a village nearby? Buttercup: There is nothing nearby... Not for miles. Vizzini: Then there will be no one to hear you scream.
47
Fezzik: You never said anything about killing anyone. Vizzini: I've hired you to help me start a war. It's an prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition. Fezzik: I just don't think it's right, killing an innocent girl. Vizzini: Am I going MAD, or did the word "think" escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass. Inigo Montoya: I agree with Fezzik. Vizzini: Oh, the sot has spoken. What happens to her is not truly your concern. I will kill her. And remember this, never forget this: when I found you, you were so slobbering drunk, you couldn't buy Brandy! [turning to Fezzik] Vizzini: And you: friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed in Greenland!
48
Fezzik: We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone. Man in Black: You mean, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword, and we'll try and kill each other like civilized people? Fezzik: [brandishing rock] I could kill you now. Man in Black: I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand fighting. Fezzik: It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise.
49
Vizzini: Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
50
Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong - that's what's so funny. I switched glasses when your back was turned. Ha-ha, you fool. You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia", but only slightly less well known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian, when *death* is on the line.". Hahahahahah. [Vizzini falls over dead]
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