Shark Tale (2004)

Rating: 2/5

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Well. That was quite unimpressive. To be honest, I didn't really expect much from the movie, but I certainly expected more than this, especially when you look at the talent they had to work with. The movie *looks* pretty good, and it's technically sound, but it's just boring. Seriously, I nodded off at least twice. After a while I was just ready to head to my truck because, unlike with the movie, I knew I'd actually be headed somewhere of interest.

I guess I just don't find all the hip-hop music and hip-hop jokes as entertaining as some might. Maybe I'm just jaded since I've seen those jokes used in about 32 different movies. They lose their shine after a while. I'd like to chalk it all up to the humor being directed at kids more than adults, but there were a lot of kids at the screening I attended, and they didn't seem to be laughing that much. How many 10-year-olds are gonna laugh at MC Hammer references? I mean really. When did they start production on this, 1990?

You're in luck if you love bad puns though. For names we've got: Jessica Shrimpson, Cod Stewart, and Mussel Crowe. Then you've got some punny product placement such as, The Gup, Coral Cola, Kelpy Kreme, and Old Wavy. Then there are the expected pop-culture puns like, shell phones, scallop polls, and raise the reef. There are plenty others, so keep your eyes and ears open. If you can. Otherwise, just bring a pillow if your kid forces you to go.

The most clever thing about the movie is how most of the characters have physical similarities to the actors voicing them - De Niro's shark has a mole, Martin Scorsese's blowfish has huge eyebrows, Jolie's fish has big lips, and Will Smith's Oscar actually looks like Will Smith. However, portraying Christina Aguilera as a hooker fish seemed a tad inappropriate.

There are some funny jokes scattered throughout, but mostly this movie only managed to elicit polite chuckles from me. I can't remember a single guffaw-inducing moment. It's not a horrible movie, but it just didn't do anything for me. The pace gets surprisingly slow at times, and the attempts at a little relationship drama aren't the best ways to keep the kids' interest.

Oh, and I had a bit of a scare at one point in the movie. I thought the theater ceiling was falling on me, but it turns out the movie was just beating me over the head with its "accept people for who they are" and "being loved is more important than being famous" messages. Yeah, yeah, pass out pamphlets if you're so desperate to get that message across. That way I can just throw it away on my way out of the theater and not worry about it.

Johnny Betts
http://www.themoviemark.com

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X-RT-RatingText: 2/5