Shark Tale (2004)

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It's impossible to watch Shark Tale and not think about Finding Nemo. The

duo represent Round Two in the animation battle (with similar themes)

between DreamWorks and Pixar, and the former fares so poorly, they wish

Steve Jobs would gnaw a chunk out of their ear so the ref will just call the

thing. Admittedly, Nemo's shoes are tough to fill - think of a little kid

trying to clomp around in Shaq's kicks - but Tale doesn't come close. It's

Antz to Pixar's A Bug's Life, and if that's not enough to scare you off,

keep reading.

Tale, which features three credited directors and four credit writers, has

the humor of a typical mid-'70s-era Tonight Show episode. It's bland and

broad. Jessica Shrimpson? Scallop polls? Cab drivers who sound like they'

re from the Axis of Evil? These are jokes lame enough to make the writers

of Yes, Dear groan like they've been mortally wounded (and, yes, they

deserve to be mortally wounded). Tale's attempt at keeping adult audiences

interested - you know, instead of being funny - is to have computer

generated characters look like the people providing their voices. So we get

Robert DeNiro as a shark with a mole on his cheek; Martin Scorsese as a

puffer fish with huge, bushy eyebrows; and Will "2K" Smith as an ambitious

yet lackadaisical fish named Oscar with sticky-outy ears, and a big,

irritating mouth.

The comparisons between Oscar and Smith don't end with the physical

resemblance, either. Oscar, like his real life counterpart, becomes famous

for perpetrating a hoax. Where Smith's swindle involves the premise of

legitimate talent, Oscar - he's named after the award Smith will never win -

cons his oceanmates into thinking he has the ability to kill sharks. He

doesn't, of course - Oscar's legend grows after being in the right spot at

the right time (Independence Day anyone?) when a dropping anchor takes out a

pursuing shark (Michael Imperoli) who happens to be the son of an underwater

Don (DeNiro). Oscar claims he shook up the world, and the balance of

oceanic power takes a fairly decent tilt.

The rest of Tale involves Oscar trying to keep up the rouse, with the help

of the Don's other, slightly effeminate son (Jack Black) and a co-worker who

has had a crush on Oscar for years (Renée Zellweger). Things play out

predictably, only with more product placement than one might prefer. Unlike

Nemo, I can't imagine a childless adult wanting to waste their time and

money on Tale, unless they're into listening to A-list voice talent, which

is the one area DreamWorks can claim victory over Pixar. Tale's animation

isn't as sharp or interesting, and the characters look odd and frightening

where Pixar's are cute and cuddly. But, unlike Antz, at least none of Tale's characters look like Benjamin Bratt.

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X-Language: en
X-RT-ReviewID: 1324028
X-RT-TitleID: 1136999
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X-RT-AuthorID: 1146
X-RT-RatingText: 5/10