"My name is...Johnny Wishbone. I am a psychic. Yes, my name is Johnny Wishbone and I am a psychic from the Isle of St. Croix."--Axel Foley
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"Who the hell are you?"--Harold Lutz (Allen Garfield) to Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy)
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Inspector Todd: Don't think, Axel! It makes my dick itch!
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Axel Foley: Inspector T, how you doin'? Inspector Todd: Where the fuck you been, Foley? And what the fuck is this? Axel Foley: It's a blue slip. Inspector Todd: What the hell do you need a thousand dollars for? Axel Foley: Just a little flash money. Inspector Todd: Flash money. Now let's see here - $2,000 for a suit, $200 for a tie, a requisition order for a Ferrari. I'm tired of seein' these blue slips, when the hell am I gonna see some arrest slips? Axel Foley: Look, inspector if there was a problem, I think.. Inspector Todd: Don't think, Axel, makes my dick itch. Fact of the matter is, I'm pouring money down a bottomless hole. And my ass is on the line. I ok'd all this shit!
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Harold Lutz: Who the hell are you? Axel Foley: My... name... is... Johnny Wishbone. I am a psychic. Yes, my name is Johnny Wishbone and I am a psychic from the Isle of St. Croix. I read in the St. Croix Gazette that the Beverley Hills Police Department was having trouble solving crimes. So I came to help you out, because I am a psychic extraordinaire. But they told me you don't need help, so I will go home. Yes, my name is Johnny Wishbone and I am a psychic from the Isle of St. Croix. You, I don't know you. You are... MMMMmmmmmmmmmmMMM AAAhhhhhh LUTZ! Chief LUTZ! And you are... MMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmm... AAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhh... Biddle: Biddle? Axel Foley: BIDDLE! Yes, Biddle I was about to say that, but you beat me to it. I don't need any help because I am Johnny Wishbone psychic extraordinaire. Just think Johnny Wishbone and I will come. Lutz and Biddle, like Kibble n' Bits, but different.
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Karla Fry: Goodbye, Mr. Foley. [Gunshot] Sergeant Taggart: Women.
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Billy Rosewood: Look, Sergeant, will you just trust me? Sergeant Taggart: Trust you? You drive worse than Maureen! Billy Rosewood: NO WAY!
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[Rosewood runs a red light] Sergeant Taggart: It's red! It's red! Billy Rosewood: It's green! [He hits another car] Billy Rosewood: All right, it was red. Axel Foley: It was yellow!
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[outside the Playboy Mansion] Billy Rosewood: Sarge? You old bloodhound! Sergeant Taggart: Billy, isn't this uh...? Billy Rosewood: Yeah! [pause] Sergeant Taggart: No!
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Harold Lutz: Have you submitted yourself for drug testing yet?
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Sidney Bernstein: [on the phone] Naturally. I can see... yeah. I mean oh. Somebody... waited... oh. [off the phone] Sidney Bernstein: Come right in. Don't let the fact that my door's closed dissuade you from entering my office. Axel Foley: Sir, we're with the Beverly Hills Police Department. Are you Mr. Sidney Bernstein? Sidney Bernstein: Yes. Lucky guess. Axel Foley: Sir, you have 25 unpaid parking tickets and we have a warrant for your arrest. Sidney Bernstein: 25? What 25? Axel Foley: You have 25 unpaid parking tickets, sir. Sidney Bernstein: I paid my tickets. I pay all my tickets. Axel Foley: Do you own a Black Mercedes-Benz, License Plate CRL-507 Sidney Bernstein: 507? That's my wife's car! That's not my car! Axel Foley: You have 25 unpaid parking tickets. Sidney Bernstein: It's under my name. But, it's my wife's car! No! No! [picks the back up and yells "BITCH!"] Axel Foley: Your tickets have not been paid, that means you liable. [to Taggart & Rosewood] Axel Foley: Can you cuff Mr. Bernstein, please? Sidney Bernstein: Cuff me? There are people with chainsaws and you're cuffing me! Axel Foley: Sir, you have 25 unpaid parking, it's your car. So, we are going to have to take you in. Sidney Bernstein: Wait a second, I have an idea. Is there something that I have in this office that I can hand to you, and that would make you kind of forget that you're holding those pink tickets there?
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Axel Foley: Inspector T! How you doing? Inspector Todd: Where the FUCK you been Foley? And what the fuck is this? Axel Foley: It's a pink slip Inspector Todd: Oh a pink slip eh? Well, let's see here... 2000 dollars for a suit, 200 dollars for a tie, a requisition order for a Ferrari? When am I gonna stop seeing these pink slips and i'll start seeing some arrest slips?
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Axel Foley: Hey man! Take off your glasses. I thought that was you man! I almost got busted, I did get busted. I lost my whole investment because of you man. Vinnie what the hell is wrong with you man? You know I'm a businessman I've got to work! Vinnie: What? Axel Foley: First you come aside a half hour late and top of that you bring a goddamn cop with you too? Vinnie: What you talking cop? He ain't no cop! Axel Foley: That's Dirty Harry himself! Now what the fuck are you doing bringing him here? Carlotta: You calling me a cop? Axel Foley: You definitely a cop! Vinnie: He ain't no cop, he's my cousin! Carlotta: What the fuck are you doing? Axel Foley: Frisking you for a wire man! How do I know if you're a cop if I'm not frisking you for a wire? Vinnie: Look, look. I've got 2000 blank American Express cards. Right now, go. You got the money, you want to do business or what? Axel Foley: I got the money and I do want to do business but with you. I ain't doing nothing in front of this dude 'cause he's a cop. I can smell a pig from a mile away - I used to be a Muslim man - I know that's pork, [makes sniffing noises] Axel Foley: that's pork, yes that's definitely pork in front of me. You want to business, you know where to find me. FUCK YOU MAN! I'll walk by.
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Axel Foley: [to Rosewood and Taggart] "If you can get your head out of your ass"? "Kiss my ass"? Man, you guys are starting to sound like me. Before you know it, you'll have Afros... big dicks and all!
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