Tully: Why did you send your stuff to us? Henry: Well, I liked the title of the mag. It boggled my scrotum. Tully: Why don't you stop drinking? Anybody can be a drunk. Henry: Anybody can be a non-drunk. It takes a special talent to be a drunk. It takes endurance. Endurance is more important than truth.
(9 votes)
2
Wanda: I hate people. Do you hate people? Henry: I don't hate people. I just like it a lot better when they're not around.
(8 votes)
3
Henry: Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.
(5 votes)
4
Henry: This is a world where everybody's gotta do something. Y'know, somebody laid down this rule that everybody's gotta do something, they gotta be something. You know, a dentist, a glider pilot, a narc, a janitor, a preacher, all that. [sighs] Henry: Sometimes I just get tired of thinking of all the things that I don't wanna do. All the things that I don't wanna be. Places I don't wanna go, like India, like getting my teeth cleaned. Save the whale, all that, I don't understand that. Jim: You're not supposed to think about it. I think the whole trick is, not to think about it.
(3 votes)
5
Henry: [to Eddie] Your mother's cunt stinks like carpet cleaner.
(3 votes)
6
Old Fart: Now look. Twenty bucks for that kind of head is outrageous. Grandma Moses: I did ya good, old fart. I did ya good. I oughta bit your champagne cork off. Old Fart: I'm givin' ya fifteen bucks. Grandma Moses: Twenty bucks. Nobody in this neighbourhood can swallow paste like I can.
(2 votes)
7
Henry: So you hired a dick to find an asshole?
(2 votes)
8
Wanda: I hate the police, don't you? Henry: I don't know, but I seem to feel better when they're not around.
(2 votes)
9
Tully: Do you need a drink? Henry: Yeah, like a spider needs a fly.
(2 votes)
10
Henry: That's it. Wanda: That's what? Henry: I'm broke. Can't buy another drink. Wanda: You mean you don't have any money? Henry: No money, no job, no rent. Hey, I'm back to normal.
11
Eddie: All you gotta do is beg for a little mercy. Henry: Quittin' to you would be like swallowin' piss for eternity.
12
Henry: Some guys really know how to get the women. Jim: Now, you don't know how? Henry: Hey, I can get one for ten minutes. That's my limit.
13
Henry: I remember ordering a draught, barkeep. What, are you out of brew, or has that lobotomy finally taken hold?
14
Eddie: I'd hate to be you if I were me.
15
Henry: Baby, What we had was just green corn.
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