Other Titles • Home on the Range (2004) • Sweating Bullets
Quotes from Home on the Range (2004)
1
Willie Brother #1: Maybe they jus' didn't like yer singin'? Alameda Slim: [anger steadily rising] My singin'? Birds *sing.* Saloon girls *sing.* Little bitty snot nosed children *sing.* I yodel, and yodelin'... is an *art!*
(36 votes)
2
Maggie: You go, cow girl.
(20 votes)
3
Piggy: Gee, you're the biggest cow I've ever seen! Maggie: Well, if you run the place I'll take that as a compliment. Piggy: Uh... Maggie: If not, I'm gonna have to sit on you. Piggy: Mom!
(18 votes)
4
Maggie: Yeah, they're real, quit staring!
(18 votes)
5
Maggie: It's Buck. Maggie: Stallion of the Cim-MORON.
(16 votes)
6
Maggie: [to Buck] Well, if it isn't the Phony Express.
7
Grace: [singing badly off key] She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes/she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes... Maggie: [cringing] She'd better get around that mountain fast, 'cause I can't take it much longer.
8
Rico: Is this the end of Rico?
9
Mrs. Calloway: Don't they have sarcasm where you're from?
10
Maggie: What is this, the frozen food section?
11
Grace: [to a bull] Let me guess, you're a Taurus?
12
Mrs. Calloway: Ladies, be careful. The male of the species can be very aggressive.
13
Alameda Slim: Call me crazy, but I think these cows got it in for me!
14
Jeb: Now we all get eaten. Audrey: Oh, but who would eat a chicken?
15
Buck: Hey! Jump back, kiss myself!
16
Maggie: Last one sleeps standing up.
17
Buck: Say, girls... got milk?
18
Audrey: You wanna get nuts? Let's get nuts!
19
Mrs. Calloway: Maggie, may I be frank? Maggie: Only if you let me wear the hat.
20
Grace: This is an organic problem, and it has a holistic solution. Jeb: You don't get this whole farm concept, do you, sister?
21
Buck: It's hero time.
22
Alameda Slim: It ain't over til the fat man sings!
23
Buck: Rusty! Rico's saddle! I'm wearing Rico's saddle! I'm wearing Rico's saddle! Rusty, the Dog: Great, I'll leave you two alone.
24
Grace: Maggie is some fun, isn't she? Mrs. Calloway: [scoffing] Teaching pigs to throw food. As if they weren't sloppy enough.
25
Grace: What kind of sheriff's office was that? Mrs. Calloway: Saloon girls? Gambling? How does he ever get any work done. Maggie: If that's the sheriff's office, this town rocks!
26
Alameda Slim: Now let's go over this one more time. Who am I? Willie Brother #1: Uncle Slim? Alameda Slim: Correct! Now, I put on this hat, and then I put on these spectacles... Willie Brother #1: Ahh! Who are you? Willie Brother #2: What have you done with Uncle Slim? Alameda Slim: It's still me! Can't you dumb sack of hammers get it right?
27
Alameda Slim: Am I to assume that every time we bring a herd back to this secret lair, you've managed to sit in the exact same spot, hiding that prime piece of property from my view? Willie Brother #1: This is my comfy place.
28
Wesley: I gave up clown college for this?
29
Buck: So long, sucker! He must be taking stupid lessons from that buffalo. [Junior the buffalo snorts down Buck's neck] Buck: Uh-oh.
30
Maggie: It's Alameda Slim! Cover me. Grace: With what?
31
Alameda Slim: And judging from the notches on the ears, this is the last of Mike Donald's herd. Willie Brother #1: Old Mike Donald had a farm? The Willie Brothers: Ee-ai, ee-ai... [Slim hits the Willies] The Willie Brothers: Oh!
32
Lucky Jack: Folks used to call me Lucky Jack. They came from miles around just to get a look at my lucky rabbit's foot. [Notices his peg-leg is on fire] Lucky Jack: Dagnabit! [puts out fire] Lucky Jack: Happens all the time.
33
Maggie: [to piggy] Here, have an apple. Don't go near any luaus, though.
34
Maggie: Cattle drive. Told ya. You both owe me a dollar.
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