Ruth Cole: Your penis looks funny. Ted Cole: My penis *is* funny.
(22 votes)
2
Ted Cole: [discussing Eddie's first story] Oh, its very heartfelt. Very personal. Well, its just a collection of personal anecdotes that don't really add up to much. Eddie O'Hare: I was just trying to see if could write something that seemed true. Ted Cole: Oh, it seems true. It just isn't very interesting. It sort of an emotional outburst, but it really isn't a story.
(18 votes)
3
Ted Cole: Everything in fiction is a tool: pain, betrayal, even death. These are, you know, these are like, uh, different colors on a painter's palette. You need to use them.
(17 votes)
4
Eddie O'Hare: [matter-of-factly] Wrong cubes! Ted Cole: [looks at his glass and realizes he did not used ice cubes for his whisky] Ted Cole: [gets rid of the glass contents]
(18 votes)
5
Ted Cole: And so the little boy was born, and he was happy. And his mommy was happy, too. Although she told the boy, at least once every day, "Don't ever, not ever, never, never, never, open the door in the floor." But of course, he was only a little boy. If you were that little boy, wouldn't you want to open that door in the floor?
(17 votes)
6
Ted Cole: I hired you, Eddie because you look like Thomas.
7
Ted Cole: About the shoe, it was a basketball shoe. Air Jordan I think you called it. [pause] Ted Cole: Specific details, Eddie. Specific details.
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