Other Titles • Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004) • Action News • Action Newsman • Anchorman
Quotes from Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)
1
Ron Burgundy: I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you. [Veronica turns and walks away] Ron Burgundy: Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I... I wanna be on you.
(45 votes)
2
Ron Burgundy: I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.
(47 votes)
3
Champ Kind: We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without ya. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you. I miss being near you! I miss your laugh! I miss - I miss your scent. I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together. Brian Fantana: Take it easy, Champ. Why don't you stop talking for a while.
(25 votes)
4
Ron Burgundy: You are a smelly pirate hooker! Veronica Corningstone: You look like a blueberry! Ron Burgundy: Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island! Veronica Corningstone: Well you... have bad hair!
(25 votes)
5
News Station Employee: It smells like Bigfoot's dick!
(25 votes)
6
Frank Vitchard: [after having his other arm ripped off by a bear] [shouts] Frank Vitchard: This is getting to be ri-god-damn-diculous!
(11 votes)
7
Ron Burgundy: I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal. Veronica Corningstone: Really. Ron Burgundy: People know me. Veronica Corningstone: Well, I'm very happy for you. Ron Burgundy: I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.
(9 votes)
8
Ron Burgundy: [to dog] You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.
(9 votes)
9
Angry Biker: What do you love? Ron Burgundy: I love poetry, and a glass of scotch, and, of course, my friend Baxter here. Angry Biker: Well, now, guess what, this is happening. [grabs Baxter] Ron Burgundy: Excuse me... excuse me... what are you doing? [biker punts Baxter over bridge] Angry Biker: That's how I roll!
(9 votes)
10
Ron Burgundy: I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly...
(7 votes)
11
Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast! Champ Kind: It jumped up a notch! Ron Burgundy: It did, didn't it? Brick Tamland: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart! Ron Burgundy: I saw that! Brick killed a guy! Did you throw a trident? Brick Tamland: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident! Ron Burgundy: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.
(7 votes)
12
Ron Burgundy: Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina. Veronica Corningstone: No, there's no way that's correct. Ron Burgundy: I'm sorry, I was trying to impress you. I don't know what it means. I'll be honest, I don't think anyone knows what it means anymore. Scholars maintain that the translation was lost hundreds of years ago. Veronica Corningstone: Doesn't it mean Saint Diego? Ron Burgundy: No. No. Veronica Corningstone: No, that's - that's what it means. Really. Ron Burgundy: Agree to disagree.
(4 votes)
13
Ron Burgundy: Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you're doing and listen. Cannonball!
(3 votes)
14
Ron Burgundy: Brick, where did you get a hand grenade? Brick Tamland: I don't know.
(3 votes)
15
Frank Vitchard: I am gonna straight-up murder your ass!
(5 votes)
16
Champ Kind: What's it like, Ron? Ron Burgundy: The intimate times? Outta sight, my man! Brian Fantana: No, the other thing - love. Brick Tamland: Yeah, what is that?
(4 votes)
17
Ron Burgundy: Let's go to Brian Fantana who's live on the scene with a Channel 4 News exclusive. Brian? Brian Fantana: Panda Watch! The mood is tense; I have been on some serious, serious reports but nothing quite like this. I uh... Ching... King is inside right now. I tried to get an interview with him, but they said no, you can't do that he's a live bear, he will literally rip your face off. [to the Panda] Brian Fantana: Hey, you're making me look stupid! Get out of here, Panda Jerk!
(2 votes)
18
Ron Burgundy: [to waiter] I'll have three fingers of Glenlivet, with a little bit of pepper... and some cheese.
(2 votes)
19
Ron Burgundy: 1001, 1002, 1003. Veronica Corningstone: Uh, Mr. Burgundy? Helen said that you needed to see me. Ron Burgundy: Oh, Miss Corningstone. I wasn't expecting company. Just doing my workout. Tuesday's arms and back. Veronica Corningstone: Well, you asked me to come by, sir. Ron Burgundy: Oh, did I? Veronica Corningstone: Yes. Ron Burgundy: Ohh, it's the deep burn! Oh, it's so deep! Oh, I can barely lift my right arm 'cause I did so many. I don't know if you heard me counting. I did over a thousand.
(2 votes)
20
Ron Burgundy: I'm in a glass case of emotion!
(2 votes)
21
Ron Burgundy: [Ron's dog barks at him] You know I don't speak Spanish.
(3 votes)
22
Ron Burgundy: [after jumping into the grizzly bear pit at the San Diego Zoo] I immediately regret this decision.
(4 votes)
23
Ron Burgundy: [playing flute solo] Hey, Aqualung!
(3 votes)
24
Champ Kind: What's this? Wes Mantooth: Well, well, well, Ron Burgundy and the Channel 4 News Team. Ron Burgundy: Hello, Wes Mantooth, Hello, Evening News team. Wes Mantooth: Nice clothes, gentlemen! I didn't know that the Salvation Army was having a sale. Am I right? Am I right? Look at these guys! Brick Tamland: Hey! Where did you get those clothes? At the toilet store? Wes Mantooth: What are you doing on our stations turf, Burgundy? You're about to get a serious beat down. Champ Kind: I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother Dorothy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again! Wes Mantooth: Dorothy Mantooth is a saint! You understand me? Dorothy Mantooth is a saint! Ron Burgundy: Hey leave the mothers out of this. It's unnecessary. Besides, I'm sure Wes here is just upset about finishing second in the ratings again. Wes Mantooth: That's completely uncalled for, Burgundy. You know those rating systems are flawed. They don't take in account houses that have... uh... more than two television sets... and other things of that nature. Ron Burgundy: I guess I have to take you at your word, No.2. You have a great day, fellas, we'll see you around the bend. Wes Mantooth: Son of a bitch!
(2 votes)
25
Wes Mantooth: I didn't know that the Salvation Army was having a sale!
(2 votes)
26
Garth Holliday: [after smelling the Sex Panther cologne] It smells like a turd covered in burnt hair!
(2 votes)
27
Veronica Corningstone: My God, what is that smell? Oh! Brian Fantana: That's the smell of desire my lady. Veronica Corningstone: God no, it smells like, like a used diaper... filled with... Indian food! Oh, excuse me. Brian Fantana: You know, desire smells like that to some people Garth Holliday: What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair. News Station Employee: Smells like Bigfoot's dick!
28
Champ Kind: The bottom line is you've been spending a lot of time with this lady, Ron. You're a member of the Channel Four News Team! Ron Burgundy: That's a given. Champ Kind: We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you! I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you, I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent; I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together!
29
Veronica Corningstone: This is pathetic. Ron Burgundy: You're pathetic.
30
Veronica Corningstone: Take me to Pleasure Town! Ron Burgundy: Oh, we're going there!
31
Ron Burgundy: Everyone just relax, all right? Believe me, if there's one thing Ron Burgundy knows, it's women. Brian Fantana: I don't know, Ron. Ron Burgundy: Guess what, I do. I know that one day Veronica and I are gonna to get married on top of a mountain, and there's going to be flutes playing and trombones and flowers and garlands of fresh herbs. And we will dance till the sun rises! And then our children will form a family band! And we will tour the countryside and you won't be invited!
32
Brian Fantana: [seriously] I'm telling you, this lady has really crawled into Ron's head. Brick Tamland: [breaks out laughing] Good one!
33
Veronica Corningstone: Oh, Ron, there are literally thousands of men that I should be with instead, but I am 72 per cent sure that I love you!
34
Public TV News Anchor: No commercials; [shouts] Public TV News Anchor: no mercy!
35
Ron Burgundy: [to Veronica after the news has just gone off the air] You've got a dirty whorish mouth.
36
Announcer: [theme music begins] Channel 4 News, with five-time Emmy-award winning anchor Ron Burgundy. Champ Kind, Sports. Brick Tamland, Weather. And your reporter in the field, Brian Fantana. It's the Channel 4 News at 6:00! Ron Burgundy: Good evening. I'm Ron Burgundy and here's what happening in your world tonight.
37
Ron Burgundy: [picking his teeth] Ribs. I had ribs for lunch, that's why I'm doing this.
38
Tino: We have a saying in my country - the coyote of the desert likes to eat the heart of the young and the blood drips down to his children for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
39
Ron Burgundy: Last time I looked in the dictionary, my name's Ron Burgundy. What's your name? Brian Fantana: Brian Fantana. Champ Kind: Champ Kind. Brick Tamland: Brian Fantana. Brian Fantana: No, you're Brick. Brick Tamland: Brian. Brian Fantana: I'm Brian. Brick Tamland: Veronica.
40
Ron Burgundy: Ron Burgundy: [when talking to Baxter] Ron Burgundy: What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole... wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad; that's amazing! How 'bout we get you in your p.j.'s and we hit the hay.
41
Garth Holliday: Why'd you say that Ron? Why? You're my hero. And you say something dirty. Like poop. Poop mouth. I hate you Ron Burgundy, I hate you! [runs away]
42
Wes Mantooth: Can't say one word, huh? Even the guy that can't think said something!
43
Ron Burgundy: Sweet Lincoln's mullet!
44
Ron Burgundy: You stay classy, San Diego. I'm Ron Burgundy? Ed Harken: Dammit! Who typed a question mark on the Teleprompter?
45
Bartender: You know, times are changing. Ladies can do stuff now and you're going to learn how to deal with it. Ron Burgundy: What? Were you saying something? Look, I don't speak Spanish.
46
Brian Fantana: Don't get me wrong, I love the ladies. I mean they rev my engines, but they don't belong in the newsroom! Champ Kind: It is anchor*man*, not anchor*lady*! And that is a scientific fact. Brick Tamland: I don't know what we're yelling about! Brian Fantana: You're with us, Ron, what do you think? Ron Burgundy: [shouting] She... Sh... It's terrible! She has beautiful eyes, and her hair smells like cinnamon! Brick Tamland: [shouts] Loud noises!
47
Brick Tamland: [when Veronica is replacing Ron after he fails to turn up] You're not Ron...
48
Ron Burgundy: I'm Ron Burgundy, go fuck yourself, San Diego.
49
Ron Burgundy: Don't you know I'd never say fuck! Fuck!
50
Veronica Corningstone: For the entire Channel 4 news team, I'm Veronica Corningstone. Ron Burgundy: And I'm Ron Burgundy. Go fuck yourself, San Diego.
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