Other Titles • Romancing the Stone • 2 bribones tras la esmeralda perdida (1984) • Auf der Jagd nach dem grünen Diamanten (1984) • A la poursuite du diamant vert
Quotes from Romancing the Stone (1984)
1
Ira: Of all the things you could say to me right now, "I lost her," Ralph, is gonna get the most teeth broken in your mouth. Ralph: Look, bullethead. If they're hiking through the jungle there's nothing I can do about it. I have a car. I am not Tarzan. I have been through every one-horse shithole for a two-hundred mile radius. You should have seen the river I had to traverse this morning. So don't give me any of your crap, you gutless wonder. You have been an embarrasment to our family ever since the day you were born! And let me tell you something else, Ira... [he turns and sees Joan and Jack getting out of a car] Ralph: You are luckiest son of a bitch that ever walked the face of the earth! She's here! Ira: She's there! Ralph: She's right here! She's walking towards the phone. She's with some guy. How do I know? She likes guys! So do you, maricon!
(22 votes)
2
Jack Colton: Goddamn it, I knew I should've listened to my mother. I could've been a cosmetic surgeon, five hundred thou a year, up to my neck in tits and ass.
(20 votes)
3
Jack Colton: Wait a minute, he's after you. Who the hell are you? Joan Wilder: Well, I'm a romance novelist. Jack Colton: You're what? What are you doing here? Joan Wilder: I told you, my sister's life depends on me. Jack Colton: Ah, don't give me that shit. I thought you were donating a kidney or something.
(20 votes)
4
Joan Wilder: What is all this? Jack Colton: All this? About five to life in the States, a couple of centuries down here. Joan Wilder: Oh, marijuana. Jack Colton: Oh, you smoke it? Joan Wilder: [defensively] I went to college.
(20 votes)
5
Jack Colton: What did you do, wake up this morning and say, "Today, I'm going to ruin a man's life"?
(20 votes)
6
Jack Colton: One hell of a morning has turned into a bitch of a day!
7
Joan Wilder: These were Italian. Jack Colton: Now they're practical.
8
Grogan: What's it gonna be, Angelina? Joan Wilder: [voiceover] It was Grogan: the filthiest, dirtiest, dumbest excuse for a man west of the Missouri River. Grogan: You can die two ways: quick like the tongue of a snake, or slower than the molasses in January. Joan Wilder: [voiceover] But it was October. Grogan: I'll kill you, goddammit, if it's the Fourth of July! Where is it? Uhh. Get over there! Joan Wilder: [voiceover] I told him to get out, now that he had what he came for. Grogan: Not quite. [spits] Grogan: Take 'em off. Do it! Come on! [Angelina kills Grogan by throwing a concealed knife] Joan Wilder: [voiceover] That was the end of Grogan... the man who killed my father, raped and murdered my sister, burned my ranch, shot my dog, and stole my Bible!
9
[after reading Joan's new novel based on her adventure] Gloria: Joanie, you are now a WORLD-CLASS hopeless romantic. Joan Wilder: No, hopeful. Hopeful romantic.
10
Joan Wilder: You're the best time I've ever had. Jack Colton: I've never been anybody's best time.
11
Jack Colton: Dammit man, the Doobie Brothers broke up! Shit! When did that happen?
12
Ralph: Hey Ira, the kid's here with the broad. They're taking her out to the boat. I got a real bad feeling about this one Ira, real bad. Ira: Will you look at those snappers Ralph! Ralph: Someone's about to get killed here and you're farting around with prehistoric animals. We've stolen enough of these antique trinkets to keep us living comfortably for the rest of our lives. Let's kiss off this third world toilet. Ira: Would I ever hurt you, have I ever hurt you? No! You know why? We got the same blood! Would I hurt me?
13
Jack Colton: What's the matter, are you paralyzed from the neck up, or are you hurt?
14
[Jack shows off his new, crocodile skin, boots, made from the crocodile he has killed] Joan Wilder: I like the boots. Jack Colton: Yeah, that poor old yellow-tailed guy... developed a fatal case of indigestion. He died right in my arms. Joan Wilder: I can't blame him. If I were to die there's nowhere on earth I'd rather be.
15
Ira: Do they know who you are? Ralph: Oh, what, do you think I'm going up and introducing myself to every cop in the pueblo?
16
Zolo: Crocodiles shed tears when they eat their prey. You have heard of these tears I am sure. But have you seen them?
17
Jack Colton: My minimum price for taking a stranded lady to a telephone is 350 dollars. Joan Wilder: Will you take 275 in traveler's checks? Jack Colton: American Express? Joan Wilder: Of course. Jack Colton: You've got a deal.
18
Joan Wilder: You're a mondo dismo! Jack Colton: I'm... what am I? I'm what? Joan Wilder: You're a man who takes money from stranded women!
19
Zolo: How will you die, Joan Wilder? Slow, like... a snail? Or fast, like a shooting star?
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