Other Titles • 50 First Dates (2004) • 50 First Kisses (2003) • Fifty First Dates (2003) • Fifty First Kisses
Quotes from 50 First Dates (2004)
1
Lucy: Can I have one last first kiss?
(52 votes)
2
[to Jocko] Henry: Don't forget to use a condom, or in your case, a Hefty bag.
(54 votes)
3
Ula: Damn you Haole! You make my sister work in your hotels!
(48 votes)
4
Ula: My shirt size is medium husky.
(44 votes)
5
[Henry pretends to get electrocuted while jump-starting his car] Henry: Hah! I can't believe you fell for that! Lucy: Well... my grandfather died while trying to jump-start a car... Henry: Oh... I'm so sorry. I was just joking around. Lucy: I can't believe you fell for THAT!
(44 votes)
6
Ula: OH, YOU CRAZY BITCH!
(9 votes)
7
Dr. Keats: Tom was in an accident and now he only has a ten-second memory. Ten Second Tom: I was in an accident? That's terrible. Dr. Keats: Don't worry, you're totally gonna get over it in about three seconds.
(7 votes)
8
Ula: Sharks are like dogs, they only bite if you touch their private parts.
(6 votes)
9
[repeated line] Lucy: There's nothing like a first kiss.
(6 votes)
10
Nick: Hey, Mr. Peanut Butter Cups! Henry: Hey, Mr. Could-Kill-Me-In-One-Punch!
(6 votes)
11
Update Video: April: Snoop quits weed. Update Video: May: Snoop back on weed.
(9 votes)
12
Dr. Keats: Doug, once again, off the juice. Doug: It'th not juithe. It'th a protein thake.
(4 votes)
13
Lucy: What are you doing? Henry: Nothing, I was just getting some lint off for you... Lucy: You were going for a feelski! Henry: All right, I'm sorry... But this is like the 23rd time we've made out already and... they're getting blue!
(2 votes)
14
Ten Second Tom: Aren't you a little old to be... Hi, I'm Tom!
(2 votes)
15
[while playing golf, Ula has ripped the stitches over a shark bite on his waist] Ula: You think you can stitch me up tonight after I get back from surfing? Henry: Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. Caddy: I wouldn't surf with a bleeding wound like that. You might attract a shark or something. Ula: What's wrong with that, cuz? Sharks are naturally peaceful. Caddy: Is that right? How'd you get that nasty cut anyway? Ula: A shark bit me. Caddy: Nice! Go smoke another one, bro!
(2 votes)
16
Ula's Kid: Daddy, what's a nympho? Ula: Uh, nympho is the state bird of Ohio. Henry: You're the state idiot of Hawaii.
(2 votes)
17
Henry: I don't think that's an option, Lisa. Linda: Linda. Henry: I know. I changed your name for your protection.
(2 votes)
18
[to his children] Ula: You kids suck; you're good at everything!
(1 vote)
19
Alexa: I guess I prefer sausage to taco.
(1 vote)
20
[first lines] Young Woman: So tell me. How was Hawaii? Tan Friend: It was unbelievable.
(2 votes)
21
Update Video: Red Sox win series!... Just kidding. Update Video: Schwarzenegger becomes governor of California!... Not kidding.
(1 vote)
22
[repeated line] Ten Second Tom: Hi, I'm Tom!
23
[at the Callahan Institute] Security Guard 1: Hey Lucy, good to see you again! [Lucy walks by quietly] Security Guard 1: What the hell's her problem? Security Guard 2: She doesn't remember who you are, brah. Security Guard 1: Oh yeah, I suck at this job!
24
Lucy: [to Henry] I hardly know you. Marlin: Actually sweetie, you're kind of dating him. [Lucy looks at Henry] Henry: Yeah. Sorry I'm not better looking.
25
Henry: Happy birthday, sir. What are you, like, 200 today?
26
Doug: Thith ith from Nick and Thue. They thend their betht witheth for a thafe trip. Henry: That's very nice. Spam and Reese's. All right. Doug: I love Thpam and Reethe's, can I have it? Henry: Um, I guess. Marlin: Doug!
27
Lucy: I wonder what's the matter with him. Old Hawaiian Man: Looks like a stupid asshole to me.
28
Old Hawaiian Man: Are you staring at me or her? 'Cause you're starting to freak me out.
29
Old Hawaiian Man: [about Henry's drawing on a napkin] Can I have that? I need something to wipe my ass with.
30
Old Hawaiian Man: That was pathetic. Henry: Yeah? Why don't you choke on your spam!
31
Marlin: Ok, ok, OK! Enough with the titty dance!
32
Nick: What did Sue say? Henry: She said that if I talk to Lucy you'll kill me with a meat cleaver.
33
Dr. Keats: Was your head shaped like an egg before she hit you? Doug: Hey! Don't make fun of Henry, all right? It'th not hith fault hith head'th thaped like that! Dr. Keats: Note the intense overreaciton. That's the 'roids talking.
34
[Henry sticks a tooth pick in Lucy's waffle house] Henry: Here, you should try this out. Put this here. Swivelly door. Waffleonians can come in and out now. Lucy: Oh, are you from a country where it's okay to stick your fingers all over someone else's food? Henry: Uh, no, I'm from this country. Henry: were you gonna eat that?
35
[last lines] Henry: Grandpa's here. Lucy: Hi dad.
36
Dr. Keats: All I know about walruses is that out of all mammals they have the second largest penis. I have the first. Henry: That's my joke.
37
Doug: Well, I may not able to kick your ath but my thithter thure can.
38
Henry: [begging Marlin to let Henry see Lucy and apologize after she ate at the diner] I don't want it to end like this. Doug: Yeah, well, it's gonna end like this! [Doug runs to beat up Henry but then Henry holds him down] Henry: Calm down, little fella! Doug: Okay I'm calm! [pause] Doug: I coulda whooped his ass, Daddy but this gravel - I siped on it a fwell. Marlin: Then maybe you need to do a little bit more butt flexes.
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