Other Titles • The Muppets Take Manhattan • Die Muppets erobern Manhattan (1985)
Quotes from The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984)
1
"Out on our own, alone? Without each other even?"--Fozzie
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Bill the Frog: I'll pick up the bill today, Gil. Gil the Frog: Would you like something from the grill, Jill? Jill the Frog: No, meat makes me ill, Gil.
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[Kermit, suffering from amnesia, doesn't remember he is engaged to Miss Piggy] Kermit the Frog: Me? In love with a pig? Wait 'til I tell the guys in marketing. [laughing] Kermit the Frog: Maybe you expected me to go HOG-wild? Perhaps you could bring home the BACON! Ahhh... the sounds of love: su-EEEEE! Oink, oink! Miss Piggy: Cancel the show! Hi-yah! [Karate chops Kermit]
4
[Masterson Rat is infatuated with Brooke Shields] Brooke Shields: Is something wrong? Masterson Rat: Do you believe in interspecies dating? Brooke Shields: Well, I've dated some rats before, if that's what you mean. [Masterson faints]
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Kermit the Frog: I'm staying! You hear that, New York? THE FROG IS STAYING!
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Pete: Big city, hmm? Live. Work, huh? But. Only peoples. Peoples is peoples. No is buildings. Is tomatoes, huh? Is peoples, is dancing, is music, is potatoes. So, peoples is peoples. Okay?
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Ronnie Crawford: Dad! Dad! I've got great news! [Bernard sees Kermit] Bernard Crawford: If you two are in love, I don't wanna know about it.
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[On Manhattan Melodies] Bernard Crawford: Just because the whole thing is crazy doesn't mean it won't make it on Broadway!
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[after contorting Kermit's legs, arm and mouth] Kermit's Doctor: No doubt about it; you've got amnesia.
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Janice: [to Gonzo] Listen, I don't take my clothes off for anyone, even if it IS "artistic."
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Statler: Hey, Waldorf, look. It's the frog and the pig. Waldorf: Looks like they're in love. Statler: Yeah. Kinda makes you sick, doesn't it?
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[the Swedish Chef is the popcorn vender at a movie theater showing a 3D film] The Swedish Chef: Yaa da poppin' corn is... [throws popcorn in the air] The Swedish Chef: 3D! Da corn is popping in your face inna... [throws popcorn in his own face] The Swedish Chef: 3-D!
13
Gonzo: Mr. Mayor! Mr. Mayor, I'm looking for a frog who can sing and dance! The Honorable Edward I. Koch: If he can balance the budget, I'll hire him!
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Kermit the Frog: Piggy? I thought Gonzo was going to play the minister. [Miss Piggy answers with a nervous, guilty laugh]
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[On seeing Beth] Fozzie Bear: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know this cave was co-ed.
16
Mr. Skeffington: Snookums prefers the rubber Wall Street Journal to the rubber Washington Post. Rowlf: Don't we all?
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Miss Piggy: I spy because I care! Kermit the Frog: Well I care, too! Miss Piggy: Well why don't you say so? Kermit the Frog: I JUST DID! Miss Piggy: ALL RIGHT! [They start screaming, then try to catch their breath] Roller Skater: Keep the skates. Keep the skates. I don't use 'em anyway; I just like to run around in shorts.
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Ronnie Crawford: Well I told you... I want to do something different! Bernard Crawford: So put some Jell-O down your pants!
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[Martin Price holds a gun on Gonzo's chicken] Martin Price: Get back or the chicken gets it! Police Officer: That's a threat?
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[Gonzo uses mouth-to-mouth resuicitation on his chicken] Miss Piggy: Gonzo, is Camilla all right? Gonzo: Yeah, but I think we're engaged!
21
Miss Piggy: Oh, dear Lord! Not jogging!
22
[at the beginning of the movie during the play, Animal chases a young lady up a seating aisle] Animal: WOMAN! WOMAN! WOMAN! WOMAN! [he turns around and looks at the audience] Animal: WOMAN! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
23
[after Mr. Skeffington is done talking baby talk to his dog] Rowlf: It's amazing. You speak Chinese like a native.
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[the Muppets have shacked up in bus station lockers] Janice: I'll trade with anyone who has a Jacuzzi.
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[after having Beth snuggle up to him] Fozzie Bear: K-k-kermit...
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Policeman: Hey! Watch it! Kermit the Frog: Oh, sorry. I gotta get a contract so I can go out and kill 'em. Policeman: [dismissing his suspicion after a moment] Nahhhhh!
27
Kermit the Frog: [Muppet Babies, singing] She's gonna be a movie star. And she wants to learn to drive a car; gonna be a vet'rinarian, too. [to Kermit] Miss Piggy: And I'm gonna always love you-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh! Fozzie Bear: Well, she's gonna be a singer, whoa whoa whoa! Scooter: And she's gonna learn to fly a plane! Rowlf: She'll be a doctor of diseases and help you with your sneezes... Gonzo: ...and practice neurosurgery on your brain!
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Rizzo the Rat: What's this supposed to be? Pete: Is grits! Grits! Hominy grits! Rizzo the Rat: How should I know how many? Count 'em yourself.
29
Statler: Well, Waldorf, they finally made it to Broadway. Waldorf: Yes, and I already bought tickets. Statler: Are they good seats? Waldorf: Sure are. They're on the next train out of town.
30
Pete: Rats want job. Frog want job. What next, penguins? [a group of penguins peek through the door] Penguin: Can we have a job? Pete, Kermit and Rizzo: No! Penguin: Well, excuse us for living!
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