Open Water (2003)

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Open Water, a film made for around $200,000 which looks like a film made for

around $210,000. Its running time is shorter than a super-sized episode of

ER, and its premise is swiped from the episode of The Simpsons where Bart

and Lisa get left behind during a school field trip to Capital City ("If I

can't rely on the buddy system, I don't know what to believe in anymore").

In Water, two big city workaholics take some time off to relax down in the

Caribbean. Susan (Blanchard Ryan) and Daniel (Daniel Travis) sign up for

one of those deep sea scuba dive things and have the time of their lives

checking out underwater life. When they surface, their boat is gone and

they're in the middle of nowhere, miles from land even they were able to

tell which direction terra firma might be. And then the sharks come.

Water's setup takes about 25 minutes, and we never really see Susan and

Daniel in any danger until the 60 minute mark. That's a long time for

something over less than 20 minutes later. And don't be sold by that whole

Jaws meets The Blair Witch Project line, either. Water just isn't that

scary, unless maybe you're the kind of tool who actually partakes in the

aforementioned underwater shenanigans (in which case, you deserve to be

terrified and then eaten by sharks). I guess the BWP comparison makes sense

because both films were produced for very little money, but beyond that, it'

s just silly.

The acting is beyond stilted, and the direction amateurish (you get what you

pay for, I guess), but the idea that a film this close to becoming a Samuel

Beckett play (particularly Happy Days) is finding its way to the multiplexes

makes me laugh. Out loud. Oh, and by the way, Water is rated R for Ryan's

nude scene - not coma-inducing psychological terror, or anything. It's also

supposed to be based on a true story, or "inspired by real events," or some

such nonsense. If that were true, then 90% of the film would be total

conjecture. And that's even more than Monster.

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X-Language: en
X-RT-ReviewID: 1311200
X-RT-TitleID: 1134547
X-RT-SourceID: 595
X-RT-AuthorID: 1146
X-RT-RatingText: 6/10