Other Titles • WarGames (1983) • War Games • War Games - Kriegsspiele (1983)
Quotes from WarGames (1983)
1
"Wouldn't you prefer a good game of chess?"--Joshua, the government computer, in response to David's (Matthew Broderick) request to play Global Thermonuclear War.
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2
David Lightman: People sometimes make mistakes. Joshua: Yes, they do.
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3
David Lightman: Is it a game... or is it real? Joshua: What's the difference? David Lightman: [muttering] Oh wow. Joshua: You are a hard man to reach.
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4
David Lightman: Hey, I don't believe that any system is totally secure.
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5
David Lightman: Joshua called me. McKittrick: [incredulous] David, computers don't call people! David Lightman: [shrugs] Yours did.
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6
General Beringer: We've had men in those silos since before any of you guys were watching "Howdy Doody"! Now I myself sleep pretty well knowing those boys are down there.
7
[World War III is soon to begin, and they must get off an island] David Lightman: I can't swim. Jennifer: You can't swim? David Lightman: No, I can't, OK, Wonder Woman? I can't swim. Jennifer: Well, what kind of an asshole grows up in Seattle and doesn't even know how to swim? David Lightman: I never got around to it, okay? I always thought there was gonna be plenty of time! Jennifer: Sorry. David Lightman: I wish I didn't know about any of this. I wish I was like everybody else in the world, and tomorrow it would just be over. There wouldn't be any time to be sorry about anything. Oh, Jesus! I really wanted to learn how to swim. I swear to God I did.
8
Mr. Liggett: Alright, Lightman. Maybe you can tell us who first suggested the idea of reproduction without sex. David Lightman: Um, your wife?
9
Nigan: He does fit the profile perfectly. He's intelligent, but an under-achiever; alienated from his parents; has few friends. Classic case for recruitment by the Soviets.
10
Joshua: Shall we play a game? David Lightman: Oh! Jennifer: I think it missed him. David Lightman: Yeah. Weird isn't it? Love to. How about Global Thermonuclear War. Joshua: Wouldn't you perfer a nice game of chess? David Lightman: Later. Right now lets play Global Thermonuclear War. Joshua: Fine.
11
David Lightman: What is the primary goal? Joshua: You should know, Professor. You programmed me. David Lightman: C'mon. What is the primary goal? Joshua: To win the game.
12
McKittrick: See that sign up here - up here. "Defcon." That indicates our current defense condition. It should read "Defcon 5," which means peace. It's still on 4 because of that little stunt you pulled. Actually, if we hadn't caught it in time, it might have gone to Defcon 1. You know what that means, David? David Lightman: No. What does that mean? McKittrick: World War Three.
13
Stephen Falken: Now, children, come on over here. I'm going to tell you a bedtime story. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin. Once upon a time, there lived a magnificent race of animals that dominated the world through age after age. They ran, they swam, and they fought and they flew, until suddenly, quite recently, they disappeared. Nature just gave up and started again. We weren't even apes then. We were just these smart little rodents hiding in the rocks. And when we go, nature will start over. With the bees, probably. Nature knows when to give up, David.
14
Stephen Falken: John! Good to see you. I see the wife still picks your ties.
15
General Beringer: Mr. McKittrick, after very careful consideration, sir, I've come to the conclusion that your new defense system sucks. McKittrick: I don't have to take that, you pig-eyed sack of shit. General Beringer: Oh, I was hoping for something a little better than that from you, sir. A man of your education.
16
David Lightman: [to Joshua] Come on. Learn, goddammit.
17
[after playing out all possible outcomes for Global Thermonuclear War] Joshua: Greetings, Professor Falken. Stephen Falken: Hello, Joshua. Joshua: A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?
18
Jim Sting: Remember you told me to tell you when you were acting rudely and insensitively? Remember that? You're doing it right now.
19
Stephen Falken: What you see on these screens up here is a fantasy; a computer enhanced hallucination!
20
General Beringer: Goddammit, I'd piss on a spark plug if I thought it'd do any good!
21
McKittrick: Excuse me, sir. We can't send these men back to the President of the United States with a lot of head-shrinker horseshit!
22
Jennifer: He wasn't very old, was he? David Lightman: Oh, he was pretty old, he was 41. Jennifer: Wow, that is old.
23
Stephen Falken: Are either of you paleontologists? I'm in desperate need of a paleontologist. Jennifer: No, we're high school students. Stephen Falken: Pity.
24
Stephen Falken: I loved it when you nuked Las Vegas. Suitably biblical ending to the place, don't you think?
25
David Lightman: This is unreal! You don't care about death 'cause you're already dead! I know a lot about you. I know you weren't always like this. What was the last thing you cared about?
26
Stephen Falken: Except, that I never could get Joshua to learn the most important lesson. David Lightman: What's that? Stephen Falken: Futility. That there's a time when you should just give up. Jennifer: What kind of a lesson is that? Stephen Falken: Did you ever play tic-tac-toe? Jennifer: Yeah, of course. Stephen Falken: But you don't anymore. Jennifer: No. Stephen Falken: Why? Jennifer: Because it's a boring game. It's always a tie. Stephen Falken: Exactly. There's no way to win. The game itself is pointless!
27
Malvin: I can't believe it, Jim. That girl's standing over there listening and you're telling him about our back doors? Jim Sting: [yelling] Mister Potato Head! Mister Potato Head! Back doors are not secrets! Malvin: Yeah, but Jim, you're giving away all our best tricks! Jim Sting: They're not tricks.
28
Mr. Lightman: This corn is raw! Mrs. Lightman: I know, isn't it wonderful? It's so crisp! Mr. Lightman: Of course it's crisp! It's raw! Mrs. Lightman: No, it's terrific! You can just taste the Vitamin A and D! Mr. Lightman: Could we have pills and cook the corn?
29
Stephen Falken: General, you are listening to a machine. Do the world a favor and don't act like one.
30
General Beringer: Gentlemen, I wouldn't trust this overgrown pile of microchips any further than I can throw it.
31
General Beringer: Flush the bombers.
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