Other Titles • Used Cars • Mit einem Bein im Kittchen (1980)
Quotes from Used Cars (1980)
1
Angry customer: Fifty bucks never killed anybody .
(4 votes)
2
Rudy: So. Roy L... What can I do you for? Roy L. Fuchs: Uhhh... I'd like to talk to my brother. Rudy: Well, you're gonna have to talk kinda loud. He left for Miami late last night. Roy L. Fuchs: Miami? Rudy: Yeah. Miami Beach. Roy L. Fuchs: Miami Beach? Jeff: Florida. Roy L. Fuchs: I know where the fuck Miami Beach is, dummy.
3
Mr. Chartner: What have I done to the children?
4
Rudy: You've seen how bad business is. We had nun; nuns, protesting in front of the dealership this morning. Jeff: Nuns? Rudy: Yeah. I had to get Jim to turn the fire hose on them. Big Jim: Yeah. And I knocked them motherfuckers on they asses, too.
5
[Rudy is planning to break into a presidential broadcast with a commercial] Jeff: For Christ's sake, we're fuckin' with the President of the United States. Rudy: He fucks with us, doesn't he?
6
Luke Fuchs: $10,000. Is that all it takes to be elected senator these days. Rudy: Well, that's more like a down payment. After I'm elected its 50-50 on all the graft I take.
7
Judge H. H. Harrison: For uttering those contemptuous words in my presences, I'm goin' to have your balls in a sling.
8
[Roy L. and Slaton are discussing Barbara's trial] Roy L. Fuchs: I can't believe you got Hangin' Judge Harrison. He's not on the take; he's legit. Sam Slaton: Remember that colored kid that got caught stealing a case of beer? Roy L. Fuchs: Billy Ray Washington? Sam Slaton: Harrison gave him thirty years hard labor. You need somebody who'll throw the book at this broad. I've paid off all the experts, all the witnesses; I've even got her lawyer on my payroll. Trust me, Roy. I can win this case.
9
[repeated line] Rudy: Trust me.
10
[Rudy and Big Jim ar watching Barbara's commercial] Barbara Jane Fuchs: Come down and see the mile of cars we have on our lot. Rudy: Did she just say "mile of cars"? She said "mile of cars". Big Jim: Most blatant case of false advertising I even did see.
11
Judge H. H. Harrison: I know you're seeing the same thing with those beady little eyes I'm seeing, Mr. Slaton. That sure does look like a mile of cars to me.
12
[President Carter on TV] President Carter: -high inflation. What is the solution? [TV cuts to commercial for Luke's yard taking place in Roy's yard] Jeff: You want the solution to inflation? Hi, friends. Marshall Lucky here for New Deal Used Cars, where we're lowering inflation not only by fighting high prices, not only by murdering high prices, but by blowing the living shit out of high prices. Yessir. Here's an example. It's a 1972 Cadillac Coupe DeVille, for sixty-two ninety-nine. That price is too high. [shoots car] Jeff: Yessir. Here's another one. It's a Lincoln Continental, Mark IV, 1973. It's loaded. It's got air conditioning. It's got a stereo. It's got white-wall radial tires. It's got power steering, power brakes, power seats, power windows. And a price that is just too high. [shoots car] Jeff: Yessir. [Jim appears on car behind him in costume] Jim: YAAAAAAHHHH. Freddie: [on microphone] Look out, Marshall Lucky. It's High Prices. Jeff: Take this, you dirty ol' High Prices. ["shoots" Jim, who puts on a very convincing act] Jim: AHHHH. Ya got me Marshall. Ahhhhh... Jeff: [shocked] Jesus Christ. [winks at screen] Jeff: Yessir, that's New Deal Used Cars... Now wait just a Goddamn minute. What the hell is this? Is this a 1974 Mercedes 450SL for *twenty-four thousand dollars*? That's too fucking high. [blows up car with dynamite. Roy watches at home] Roy: You sonova bitch. Jeff: [laughs] Yessir. We blew the shit out of that over-priced motherfucker just the way we blow the shit out of *all* high prices, down here at New Deal Used Cars. So y'all come on down. Did you hear what I said? New Deal Used Cars. So y'all come on down. Did you hear what I said? [TV cuts back to President] President Carter: I have heard you, with unmistakable clarity... Roy: You sonova bitch. [kicks TV and electrocutes himself]
13
Rudy: Hey, morning, Roy! [Roy reacts by spitting on a car, and wiping it off] Rudy: [to himself] Same to you, asshole.
14
[Rudy puts a bumper sticker of himself on a newly-bought car] Rudy: You're going to love it, Stan. Trust me. [the car drives off as the bumper falls off the car] Rudy: Ah, shit! There goes a perfectly good bumper sticker.
15
[Jeff digs up mud, and accidentally dumps it on Roy's shoes] Roy L. Fuchs: Now aren't you a little big to be playing in the fucking mud?
16
Rudy: Luke told me that if you came around here to have you arrested for trespassing. Now, are you going to leave, or are we going to have to call the cops? Jeff: Yeah, do we have to call the cops? Roy L. Fuchs: What are you, a fucking parrot? Sam Slaton: Come on, Roy. Let's go. Roy L. Fuchs: Suck-ass son of a bitch.
17
FBI Inspector: You want to give me that again? Jeff: Uh, well, yes. As I say, Inspector, I heard this large explosion and I rushed out, I couldn't tell what was going on. I saw the car over there in flames and all these strange little characters, you know, with towels on their heads, weird little goatees and stuff, running around yelling: "Ayatollah, Ayatollah." Then they all got in a car and drove away. I guess it was Iranian students out to discredit the American way of life. I can't imagine who else would do such a thing.
18
[Rudy notices that some paint has washed off Manuel's cars] Rudy: Manuei! What the hell are you using; water based paint? Manuel: Sure. How much rain do we get around here anyway? If you don't like these, I'll get you some others. Here is my inventory. Rudy: Manuel, this is a picture of 250 cars. I can't make a deal on a picture. Take these around back and I'll think of something.
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