Prison Psychiatrist: And men? Woof: What do you mean...? Prison Psychiatrist: You have any sexual attraction towards men? Woof: You mean if I'm a homosexual or something like that? Prison Psychiatrist: Yeah. Woof: Well, I wouldn't kick Mick Jagger out of my bed, but uh, I'm not a homosexual, no.
(20 votes)
2
Hippy: The draft is white people sending black people to make war on the yellow people to defend the land they stole from the red people!
(20 votes)
3
Jeannie: I know who the father is. Hud: Yeah, you know that, you know a lot. If the baby comes out all white and squishy-like, crying his ass off, then we know Woof is definitely the daddy. But if he comes out all beautiful and chocolate brown, that's mine!
(20 votes)
4
Sheila: [after receiving Claude's letter] So, I was thinking of writing him. What should I say? Jeannie: Oh! I wanna say something! I wanna say... um... tell him I said... um... Jeannie says 'Hi!'
(20 votes)
5
Sheila, Jeannie: [in song] Gliddy glup goopy, nibby nabby noopy la la la lo lo. Sabba sibby sabba, nooby abba nabba le le lo lo. Tooby ooby walla, nooby abba nabba. Early morning singing song.
(20 votes)
6
Berger, Hud, Woof: [in song] Hair like Jesus wore it. Hallelujah! I adore it! Hallelujah! Mary loved her son. Why don't my mother love me?
7
Berger: Where you from? Claude Bukowski: Oklahoma. Jeannie: Hey, listen. I know what it's like. I used to be from Kansas myself.
8
'Aquarius' soloist: [In song] When the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars, then peace will guide the planet and hope will steer the stars. This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius.
9
Jeannie: So, do you wanna to get married? Claude Bukowski: To who? Jeannie: Me!
10
Woof, Hud, Berger: [singing] Oh say, can you see my eyes? If you can, then my hair's too short.
11
Steve: We'll have it [the money] Steve: for you at four o'clock. Berger: See, that's just what my other problem is, man. Steve: What? Berger: You're full of shit. [Sheila laughs]
12
Chorus: [singing] Give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair, shining gleaming steaming flaxen waxen. Give me it down to there, hair, shoulder length or longer, here, baby, there, mamma, everywhere, daddy daddy hair! Flow it, show it, long as God can grow it, my hair!
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