Jan: Mr. Allen, this may come as a surprise to you, but there are some men who don't end every sentence with a proposition.
(52 votes)
2
Jan: Officer, arrest this man - he's taking me up to his apartment! Police Officer: Well, I can't say that I blame him, miss.
(51 votes)
3
[Jan and Brad are on the phone discussing a phone schedule.] Jan: We're just going to have to live with each other... [Jan pauses, waiting for a response] Brad Allen: Well? Jan: I was waiting for you to say some off-color remark. Brad Allen: Is that all you have on your mind? Jan: Never mind my mind! You just stick to your half hour and I'll stick to mine!
(43 votes)
4
Jonathan Forbes: Owww! Brad Allen: What? Jonathan Forbes: That chair. It just bit me.
(39 votes)
5
Jonathan Forbes: You've been crying for 60 miles.
(39 votes)
6
Brad Allen: Look, I don't know what's bothering you, but don't take your bedroom problems out on me. Jan: I have no bedroom problems. There's nothing in my bedroom that bothers me. Brad Allen: Oh-h-h-h. That's too bad.
(7 votes)
7
[Trying to convince Alma she loves living alone.] Jan: Well, what am I missing? Alma: If you have to ask, you're missing it!
8
Alma: If there's anything worse than a woman living alone, it's a woman saying she likes it.
9
Brad Allen: I've had hangovers before, but this time, even my hair hurts.
10
Brad Allen: Why don't you take her over for the rest of the evening? Jonathan Forbes: Me? Brad Allen: Yeah! Take her dancing maybe. She's dying to learn how to dance. Jonathan Forbes: Wait wait. She doesn't know how to dance? Brad Allen: Well naturally, she doesn't get out of the house very often. Jonathan Forbes: What do you mean, "naturally"? Brad Allen: Jonathan, believe me, you and Moose - I mean Miss Taggett will get along... Jonathan Forbes: "Moose"?
11
Jan: At least my problems can be solved in one bedroom. You couldn’t solve yours in a thousand!
12
Jan: Wonder how it would be to have someone to pillow talk with me?
13
Jan: Would you please get off this line!
14
Jonathan Forbes: Well, they didn't hit the moon with the first missile shot either.
15
Jan: If you'll excuse me, I better go to the powder moon. I mean room. Fix my lipstick.
16
Jan: I'm yours tonight. My darling possess me.
17
Brad Allen: Are you getting out of that bed, or am I coming in after you? Jan: You wouldn't dare!
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