"What I am trying to say is: I'm not a poet, I'm an ophiologist."--Charles Pike (Henry Fonda)
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"I need him like the ax needs the turkey."--Jean Harrington (Barbara Stanwyck)
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Charles Pike: You ought to put handles on that skull. Maybe you could grow geraniums in it.
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Charles Pike: You're certainly a funny girl for anybody to meet who's just been up the Amazon for a year. Jean Harrington: Good thing you weren't up there two years.
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Jean Harrington: You see Hopsi, you don't know very much about girls. The best ones aren't as good as you think they are and the bad ones aren't as bad. Not nearly as bad.
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Charles Pike: What I am trying to say is: I'm not a poet, I'm an ophiologist.
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Jean Harrington: You know Charles? Sir Alfred McGlennan Keith: Oh, is he the tall backwards boy always toying with toads and things? Yes, I think I have seen him skulking about. Jean Harrington: He's not backwards. He's a scientist. Sir Alfred McGlennan Keith: Oh is that what it is? I knew he was, mm... peculiar.
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Jean Harrington: Boy, would I like to see you give some old harpie the three in one! "Colonel" Harrington: Don't be vulgar, Jane. Let us be crooked, but never common.
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Jean Harrington: I don't see why I have to do all the dirty work. There must be plenty of rich old dames waiting for you to push them around. "Colonel" Harrington: You find them, I'll push them.
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Jean Harrington: I need him like the ax needs the turkey.
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Stewart: Good morning, sir. Fruit, cereal, bacon and egg, egg and sausage, sausage and hot cake, hot cake and ham, ham and egg, egg and bacon, bacon and... Muggsy: Give me a spoonful of milk, a raw pigeon's egg, and four houseflies. If you can't catch any, I'll settle for a cockroach.
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Charles Pike: Snakes are my life, in a way. Jean Harrington: What a life!
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Jean Harrington: What were you doing up the Amazon? Charles Pike: Looking for snakes. I'm an ophiologist. Jean Harrington: I thought you were in the beer business. Charles Pike: Beer? *Ale!* Jean Harrington: What's the difference? Charles Pike: Between beer and ale? Jean Harrington: Yes. Charles Pike: My father'd burst a blood vessel if he heard you say that. There's a big difference. Ale's sort of fermented on the top or something, and beer's fermented on the bottom, or maybe it's the other way around. There's no similarity at all. You see, the trouble with being descended from a brewer, no matter how long ago he brewered, or whatever you call it, you're supposed to know all about something you don't give a hoot about.
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Steward: Breakfast, sir? Charles: What'd you say? Steward: I said, "Breakfast, sir?" Charles: Two scotch and sodas with plain water. Jean Harrington: Don't you take cream and sugar? Charles: No, I always take it black. [pause] Charles: Say, what am I talking about? Jean Harrington: That's what I was wondering. Steward: How about a nice bicarbonate of soda with an egg in it? It does wonders!
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Steward: Six more Pike's Pale. Make it snappy. Ship's Bartender: What are you trying to do, embarrass me? We're all out of Pike's Pale. Work 'em over to something else! Steward,: They don't want nothing else. They want "the Ale that won for Yale." Rah, rah, rah. Ship's Bartender: Well, tell 'em to go to Harvard.
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Jean Harrington: They say a moonlit deck is a woman's business office.
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