Other Titles • Help! • Beatles Phase II (1965) • Eight Arms to Hold You (1965) • Hi-Hi-Hilfe! (1965)
Quotes from Help! (1965)
1
[In disguise at the airport. Newspapers have discovered their destination] Ringo: Okay, who let it out. John: Nobody'll know! Paul: We're not going there! John: We just put it about we're going there! Paul: We're not going there! John: We just put it about we're going there! George: Just so everybody would think we're going there? Ringo: I'd like to go there. John: You wouldn't like it. Ringo: Where are we going anyway? John: Never you mind.
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2
Professor Foot: He's an idiot. Degree in woodwork. I ask you!
3
Algernon: Stop him? Me? It's more than my job's worth to stop him once he gets started. He's out to rule the world... if he can get a government grant.
4
Professor Foot: It's the brain drain, his brain's draining.
5
Ahme: Hold! Release him or I shoot, and I am a dead-eye shot, shooting.
6
Jeweller: We have all sorts of little problems like this, sir. Some of them matrimonial!
7
George: Hey, there might be some insurance. John: I wouldn't think of such a thing! John: [Whispering] Find out will you?
8
Bhuta: Alright, alright. Synchronize your watches. You, you, you and you, paint him red, then kill him!
9
Narrator: End of Part One. Intermission. End of Intermission. Part Two.
10
Lady: Where you been, eh? Up to that temple again aincha? You're as bad as your sister coming home from work all hours and all colors.
11
Narrator: End of Part Two. Part Three: later that evening!
12
John: Get me the Home Office. He's wrecking my home!
13
John: How do you know you're not just as filthy and sent by him to nick the ring by being filthy when you have lulled us with your filthy eastern ways? Paul: What filthy eastern ways are those?
14
Paul: [voice distorted] It is one of those relativity condensers! John: Bad machine!
15
[John and Paul are trying to get Ringo to cut his finger off] Paul: You don't miss your tonsils, do yer?
16
George: I'm always getting winked at these days. It used to be you didn't it Paul?
17
[Ringo is trapped in a cellar with a tiger] Superintendent: Oh look! It's Raj, The famous Bengal man-eater who escaped from London Zoo this morning. John: Good Lord! So it famous is! Superintendent: Oh, don't worry, he's absolutely harmless. All you have to do is sing Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" from the famous ninth Symphony in D minor. John: Of course! Why didn't you think of that you twit!
18
Paul: [Speaking to washer woman] Do you know Clang? Washerwoman: I'm his mother, and he's good boy!
19
[Paul tracking foot prints] Paul: Easterner with greasy feet speak with fork tongue. John: Does he? What's he say? Paul: Passing this way, hot foot, many moons to temple. George: Don't encourage him. You've got the part Paul! John: Dare we ask how you know? Ringo: How? Paul: How! I saw these footprints and this guide book which points out places of local worship. John: To the temple!
20
Superintendent: Oh come on now lads, don't be windy, where's that famous pluck? John: I haven't got any, have you George? George: Did have. Paul: I have had. Ringo: I will have! Lead on!
21
George: Hey, you're all red again. Ringo: I know, I'm beginning to like it!
22
Paul: My skin's soaked right through to the skin!
23
Ahme: [to camera] I am not what I seem.
24
Ringo: I don't subscribe to your religion!
25
Ringo: [Ringo approaches the bar and asks for] Two lagers and lime and two lagers and lime
26
Ringo: The Fire Brigade once got my head out of some railings. John: Did you want them to? Ringo: No, I used to leave it there when I wasn't using it for school. You can see a lot of the world from railings.
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