"Myrtle Mae, you have a lot to learn, and I hope you never learn it."--Veta Louise Simmons (Josephine Hull)
(20 votes)
2
"I've wrestled with reality for thirty-five years, and I'm happy, Doctor, I finally won out over it."--Elwood P. Dowd (James Stewart)
(20 votes)
3
Elwood P. Dowd: Here, let me give you one of my cards. Now if you should want to call me, use this number. This other one is the old number.
(20 votes)
4
Dr. Sanderson: Think carefully, Dowd. Didn't you know somebody, sometime, someplace with the name of Harvey? Didn't you ever know anybody by that name? Elwood P. Dowd: No, no, not one, Dr. Maybe that's why I always had such hopes for it.
(20 votes)
5
Elwood P. Dowd: Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it.
(20 votes)
6
Elwood P. Dowd: I always have a wonderful time, wherever I am, whoever I'm with.
7
Elwood P. Dowd: Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, "In this world, Elwood, you must be" - she always called me Elwood - "In this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant." Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. And you may quote me.
8
Elwood P. Dowd: Wouldn't that get a little monotonous, just Akron, cold beer and 'poor, poor thing' for two weeks?
9
Veta Louise Simmons: Myrtle Mae, you have a lot to learn, and I hope you never learn it.
10
Elwood P. Dowd: Harvey and I have things to do... we sit in the bars... have a drink or two... and play the juke box. Very soon the faces of the other people turn towards me and they smile. They say: 'We don't know your name, mister, but you're all right, all right.' Harvey and I warm ourselves in these golden moments. We came as strangers - soon we have friends. They come over. They sit with us. They drink with us. They talk to us. They tell us about the great big terrible things they've done and the great big wonderful things they're going to do. Their hopes, their regrets. Their loves, their hates. All very large, because nobody ever brings anything small into a bar. Then I introduce them to Harvey, and he's bigger and grander than anything they can offer me. When they leave, they leave impressed. The same people seldom come back.
11
Elwood P. Dowd: I'd just helped Ed Hickey into a taxi. Ed had been mixing his drinks, and I felt he needed conveying. I started to walk down the street when I heard a voice saying: 'Good evening, Mr. Dowd'. I turned, and there was this big white rabbit leaning against a lamp-post. Well, I thought nothing of that! Because when you've lived in a town as long as I've lived in this one, you get used to the fact that everybody knows your name.
12
Veta Louise Simmons: Oh, Myrtle, don't be didactic. It's not becoming in a young girl. Besides, men loathe it.
13
Mrs. Ethel Chauvenet: Is, is that Mrs. Frank Cummings? Doesn't she look ghastly, I thought she was dead. I must get a closer look.
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Veta Louise Simmons: As I was going down to the taxi cab to get Elwood's things, this awful man stepped out. He was a white slaver, I know he was. He was wearing one of those white suits, that's how they advertise.
15
Veta Louise Simmons: Judge Gaffney, is that all those doctors do in places like that - think about sex? Judge Gaffney: I don't know. Veta Louise Simmons: Because if it is they ought to be ashamed of themselves. It's all in their heads anyway. Why don't they get out and take long walks in the fresh air?
16
Wilson: Who's Harvey? Miss Kelly: A white rabbit, six feet tall. Wilson: Six feet? Elwood P. Dowd: Six feet three and a half inches. Now let's stick to the facts.
17
Bartender: What can I do for you, Mr. Dowd? Elwood P. Dowd: What did you have in mind?
18
Veta Louise Simmons: I took a course in art last winter. I learnt the difference between a fine oil painting, and a mechanical thing, like a photograph. The photograph shows only the reality. The painting shows not only the reality, but the dream behind it. It's our dreams, doctor, that carry us on. They separate us from the beasts. I wouldn't want to go on living if I thought it was all just eating, and sleeping, and taking my clothes off, I mean putting them on...
19
The Taxi Driver: ...I've been driving this route for 15 years. I've brought them out here to get that stuff, and I've drove them home after they had it. It changes them... On they way out here, they sit back and enjoy the ride. They talk to me, some times we stop and watch the sunset, and look at the birds fly. And sometimes we stop and watch the bird when there ain't no birds. And look at the sunset when its raining. We have a swell time. And I always get a big tip. But afterwards, uh oh, they crab, crab, crab. They yell at me. Watch the lights. Watch the brakes, Watch the intersection. They scream at me to hurry. They got no fait in me, or my buggy. Yet, it's the same cab, the same driver. and we're going back over the very same road. It's no fun. And no tips... After this he'll be a perfectly normal human being. And you know what stinkers they are!
20
[Elwood bumps into an old friend he hasn't seen for some time] Elwood P. Dowd: You've been away. Mr. Miggles: For 90 days. Been doin' a job for the state. Makin' license plates. Elwood P. Dowd: Oh, is that so? Interesting work? Mr. Miggles: I can take it or leave it alone. Elwood P. Dowd: Oh, I see. Mr. Miggles: I did a job for 'em last year too. Helpin' 'em build a road.
21
Myrtle Mae Simmons: Oh, mother, people get run over by trucks every day. Why can't something like that happen to Uncle Elwood?
22
Mrs. Ethel Chauvenet: Does Elwood see anybody these days? Veta Louise Simmons: Oh, yes, Aunt Ethel, Elwood sees *somebody*.
23
Miss Kelly: Well what shall I say to Mr. Dowd? What do I do? He'll probably be so furious he'll refuse to come down here. Dr. Sanderson: Look, Miss Kelly. He's probably fit to be tied, but he's a man, isn't he? Miss Kelly: I guess so. His name's *Mister*! Dr. Sanderson: Well, then, go into your old routine. You know, the eyes, the swish, the works. I'm immune to it, but I've seen it work on some people, some of the patients out here. Now, you get him down here, Kelly, if you have to do a striptease!
24
Wilson: I'll tell you something, Myrts. Myrtle Mae Simmons: Yeah? Wilson: You know, you not only got a nice build, but you got something else, too. Myrtle Mae Simmons: Really? What? Wilson: You got the screwiest uncle that ever stuck his puss inside our nuthouse.
25
Dr. Chumley: I'm Dr. Chumley. You're Mrs. Simmons, of course. Veta Louise Simmons: Yes, well, I'm glad to know you, Dr. Chumley. Would you mind asking Judge Gaffney to come back here? Dr. Chumley: Why, certainly, certainly. Veta Louise Simmons: I want to tell him to sue you for $100,000. I don't think $50,000 is enough.
26
Dr. Sanderson: It sounds funny, but I'll miss this place. I guess I'll miss a lot of things around here. Miss Kelly: You will? Dr. Sanderson: You won't laugh? Miss Kelly: Of course not. Dr. Sanderson: You know how it is working around people all day. You sort of get attached to them. Miss Kelly: I know, Limon. Dr. Sanderson: It may be ridiculous, but I'm gonna miss every one of the psychos, neuros, and schizos in the place.
27
Elwood P. Dowd: You see, science has overcome time and space. Well, Harvey has overcome not only time and space, but any objections. Dr. Chumley: Fly specks, fly specks! I've been spending my life among fly specks while miracles have been leaning on lampposts at 18th and Fairfax!
28
Dr. Chumley: This sister of yours is at the bottom of a conspiracy against you. She's trying to persuade me to lock you up. Today, she had commitment papers drawn up. She has your power of attorney and the key to your safety box, and she brought you here! Elwood P. Dowd: She did all that in one afternoon. That Veta certainly is a whirlwind, isn't she?
29
Elwood P. Dowd: I seem to have misplaced my buttonhole.
30
Elwood P. Dowd: That's envy my dear, there's a little bit of envy in the best of us.
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