Yogi Berra: Ninety percent of the game is half mental.
(2 votes)
2
Mickey Mantle: I like women with small hands, they make my dick look big.
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Bob Sheppard: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Yankee Stadium.
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Whitey Ford: [Sotto voce, to Mickey Mantle] This guy died and nobody told him. Commissioner Ford Frick: As I stand here this afternoon, it is impossible not to think of the Babe; not to feel his presence here even now. He was more than a ball player. He was everything that is special about this game. He was everything that is special about America. Mickey Mantle: [Sotto voce, to Whitey] I bet I got more pussy than he did.
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[about the sports press] Mickey Mantle: That's just great. One guy's got me all washed up, the other's got me beatin' Ruth's record. You guys should get together an' make up your minds, tell me how I am so I know how to play.
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[after a home run] Roger Maris: Curveball? Mickey Mantle: Yeah, but it didn't curve.
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Mickey Mantle: Roger, are we feuding? Roger Maris: They said so on the TV, it must be true. Mickey Mantle: Well, fuck you then. Roger Maris: Up yours.
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[after Maris hits #59, he sits down next to Mickey] Mickey Mantle: What happened? I was on the john.
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Mickey Mantle: [whispers to Maris] That blonde back there has got the biggest tits I've ever seen in my life.
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Mickey: I just ain't getting there. I just can't play no more. I'm wore out, done. I'm out of the race. Thought I took pretty good care of myself too. Roger: You did Mick. Damn straight you did. Mickey: Well anyway, he's all yours if you want him. You go get that fat fuck.
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Mickey Mantle: She looks me dead in the eye, and says, "I thought you was a homo." I said "What the hell are you talkin' about" she goes "well I heard you was a switch hitter."
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[Drunk] Mickey Mantle: I'm expectin' a guest, and his name is Mr. Jack... Daniels
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Bob Sheppard: ] voice over] The separate single-season home run records remained until Nineteen Ninety-One, when Fay Vincent, the commissioner of baseball, ordered that there be only one record. Roger Maris died six years earlier, never knowing that the record belonged to him.
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[Mickey Mantle just switched from right hand to left hand during batting practice] Yogi Berra: Oh, look at this. Mr. Ambidextrial. Elston Howard: Ambidextrial? Yogi Berra: Ambidextrial, you know... this side, that side.
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[about a newspaper article on Mickey Mantle] Sam Simon: All I did was say that he had an off season. Dan Topping: He hit forty home runs last year. A lot of players would kill for that kind of an "off" season.
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[on Maris's failure to hit 61 homers in 154 games] Milt Kahn: He had a great season. Artie Green: Aaah, the pressure got to him. Milt Kahn: You ever play baseball, Artie? Artie Green: No. Not really. Milt Kahn: That's what I thought.
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Whitey Ford: Hey, Mick, you read Sam Simon's column today? Mickey: No, you know I don't read that shit. Son of a bitch has been after me since day one. What's it say?
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[about Roger Maris] Artie Green: MVP - Most Vacant Personality.
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Whitey Ford: Hey, Slick, how come every time you get drunk it costs me money?
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Roger: Listen Mick, Cerv and I got this place. It's real nice and quiet. It's in a nice place, neighborhood. Heck, sometimes we cook for ourselves and other times we're sending out. Mickey: What the hell are you talking about? Roger: Yeah, well I was just thinking, maybe you'd like to come and live with us. Mickey: Let me get this straight. I got a big fucking suite at the St. Maritz Hotel, and you want me to move to Queens?
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Roger: There ya go Mick. Mickey: What the hell's that? Bob: That's Roger's special eggs. Mickey: It looks disgusting. Roger: Well you don't have to have any Bob. Bob: Oh, thank you! Mickey: I'm sorry Roger, but I'm going to have to pass. Roger: Mick, I'm telling ya, don't listen to Bob. Last few times I ate these, I hit home runs. [Mickey tries the eggs] Roger: Sorry Bob, looks like somebody likes 'em. Bob: You like 'em? Mickey: No, they're shit, but I'm in a bit of a slump. I'll try anything.
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Roger: I did not say the Babe had it easier. Can you believe this shit? Mickey: You gotta be careful. Roger: You'd think I was trying to replace Jesus Christ or something. Bob: Then don't read the Daily News.
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[Talking about Mickey Mantle] Artie Green: I've never seen him get a hand like this before. Milt Kahn: He's never been the underdog before.
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Roger: Mick, did you ever stop and think, if you took better care of yourself, you wouldn't be getting hurt all the time. Did you see what you did out there today with only one arm, and tonight you're out screwing around! How can you do that? You're Mickey Mantle for Christ's Sake! Mickey: What's that supposed to mean huh? What the fuck's that supposed to mean? Roger: I don't know Mick, maybe you're the one who doesn't want it. Mickey: You think you know something about me? You don't know shit about me. Roger: Yeah? Fine. Mickey: My dad died when he was 39. Hodgkins. My grandfather, my uncle, same thing. None of 'em made it past the age of 45 so I'm gonna live my life the way I want! Why don't you get off my back. Call your wife, go cry to her about it.
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Roger: If I don't wanna talk about things, and I don't know what they wanna hear, and I just wanna play ball. Does that make me the bad guy? Mickey: There is no bad guy, Rodge. Roger: Well I got about a 1000 more of these that says your wrong. I just don't understand why it's so important to them. Mickey: Maybe you oughta forget about your mail for awhile. Put this shit away. Roger: No, I gotta write back to the kids. Believe it or not, there's some real nice one's in there from the kids.
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The Babe: Hey Roger, up here! It's the voice from above. Hey Maris, up here. It's the Babe! Hey, you want my record? You want my record? You can come up and kiss my Bambino ass! Hey I saw ya in the paper the other day. Nice hookers you have there pal. You're nothing! You're never gonna be nothing! Hey what, you can't even face me? You can't even look at me? Oh, you wanna play ball? You wanna play some ball? Hey, I tell you what. Catch this you piece of shit! [throws a chair at Maris]
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Roger: You would have done it too. Mickey: Ah, bullshit. It was you Rodge. You did it, you son of a bitch. Nobody can ever take that away from you. No matter what bullshit they try to tell you. That record's yours. [Roger and Mickey shake hands] Mickey: You're a good man, Roger.
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Milt Kahn: [after Maris hit his 61st home run] Do you think you earned their respect out there today? Roger Maris: Milt, I don't think that's something you earn on a ballfield.
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