Other Titles • Bend It Like Beckham • Kick It Like Beckham (2002)
Quotes from Bend It Like Beckham (2002)
1
Wedding Guest: Lesbian? Her birthday's in March. I thought she was a Pisces.
(27 votes)
2
Jules: Me and Jess were fighting because we both fancy our coach... Joe. Paula: [pause] Joe, a man, Joe? Jules: [exasperated] Yeah, as in male, Joe! Joe, our coach, Joe, man, Joe!
(24 votes)
3
Paula: Get your lesbian feet out of my shoes!
(24 votes)
4
Tony: Look, Jessie. You can't plan who you fall for. It just happens. I mean, look at... Posh and Becks. Jess: Well, Beckham's the best. Tony: [chuckles] Yeah! I really like Beckham too. Jess: Well of course you do. No one can cross a ball or bend it like Beckham Tony: [shakes head] No, Jess. I *really* like Beckham. Jess: What? You mean... [incredulous scoff] Jess: But you're Indian!
(24 votes)
5
Joe: Where do you normally play? Jess: In the park. Joe: No... I meant what position?
(24 votes)
6
Paula: That's why she's been so depressed lately cos' that Jess broke her heart! She's in love. With a girl! Alan Paxton: You're jumping to all the wrong conclusions Paula: But I heard her! No wonder she never looked twice at the Kevin or brought any boys home. I tried to get her nice clothes, you know we've had some lovely prints in this summer you know in swimwear and sarongs and that. She never wants to go shopping with me. It was terrible what they did to that George Michael going on about him and his private business in the papers like that! Oh No! Alan Paxton: George Michael is still a superstar and you still listen to Wham!
(7 votes)
7
Joe: Look, I can't let you go without knowing. Jess: What? Joe: That even with the distance, and it concerns your family, we might still have something. Don't you think?
(5 votes)
8
[Re: Jesminder's breasts] Dressmaker: Don't worry, Miss Bahmra. Our designs will make even these little mosquito bites look like juicy, juicy mangos!
(5 votes)
9
Jess: I didn't ask to be good at football, Gura Nanak must have blessed me.
(5 votes)
10
Joe: Look, Jess. I saw it. She fouled you. She tugged your shirt. You just overreacted, that's all. Jess: That's not all. She called me a Paki. But I guess that's something you wouldn't understand. Joe: Jess, I'm Irish. Of course I understand what that feels like.
(4 votes)
11
Paula: All I'm saying is, there's a reason why Sporty Spice is the only one without a fella!
(4 votes)
12
Video Man: Eyes down. Don't smile. Indian bride never smiles. You'll ruin the bloody video.
(3 votes)
13
Wedding Guest (older woman): She's not Lebanese, she's Punjabi!
(3 votes)
14
Jules: Mother, just because I wear trackies and play sports DOES NOT MAKE ME A LESBIAN!
(3 votes)
15
Paula: You know Jesminder, I cooked a lovely curry the other day.
(3 votes)
16
Joe: Your mom's a barrel of laughs compared to my dad.
(3 votes)
17
Tony: Well you fancying your gora coach is OK with me. Besides, he's quite fit!
(3 votes)
18
Joe: Can't keep losing all my best players to the Yanks now can I?
(3 votes)
19
Paula: Don't tell me. The offside rule is when the French mustard has to be between the teriyaki sauce and the sea salt.
(2 votes)
20
Jess: Anyone can cook aloo gobi, but who can bend a ball like Beckham?
(2 votes)
21
Jules: [after seeing Jess almost kiss Joe] You bitch!
(2 votes)
22
Mrs. Bhamra: What family would want a daughter-in-law who can run around kicking football all day but can't make round chapattis?
(1 vote)
23
Mrs. Bhamra: [after having agreed to let Jess go to America] At least I taught her full Indian dinner, the rest is up to God.
(1 vote)
24
[explaining to Joe how she got the large burn scar on her thigh that makes her shy of wearing shorts] Jess: I was eight. My mum was working overtime at Heathrow. And I was trying to cook beans on toast. And I jumped up to the grill to get the toast. And my trousers caught light so my sister put me in the bath, poured cold water over me and pulled them off. And half my skin came off too. Joe: Sorry. Jess: I know - it put me off beans on toast for life.
25
Woman at Party: [to Jess about marriage] Now do you want a clean-shaven boy like your sister, or a proper Sikh with full beard and turban?
26
Paula: Do you not realise that you have a daughter with breasts?
27
Jess: I'm sorry I missed that penalty, coach. Joe: It's okay, losing to the Jerries on penalties comes natural to you English. You're part of tradition now!
28
Jules: Anyway being a lesbian's not that big a deal Paula: Oh no of course not sweetheart no. I mean I've got nothing against it. I was cheering for Martina Navratilova as much as the next person.
29
Joe: Maybe after they train you up I'll sign you - if I can afford you. Jess: Yeah you wish!
30
Mrs. Bhamra: Your sister's getting engaged and you're sitting here watching this skinhead boy! Jess: Mom, it's Beckham's corner!
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