Other Titles • A Shot in the Dark (1964) • Bride of the Pink Panther (1964) • The Pink Panther: A Shot in the Dark (1964) • Schuß im Dunkeln, Ein (1965)
Quotes from A Shot in the Dark (1964)
1
Maria Gambrelli: You can have one of my cigarettes. Clouseau: Oh, thank you. Maria Gambrelli: You have it in backwards. Clouseau: Oh... it tastes very bad that way.
2
Clouseau: Facts, Hercule, facts! Nothing matters but the facts. Without them the science of criminal investigation is nothing more than a guessing game.
3
Clouseau: You are forgetting the most important fact: motive.
4
Hercule LaJoy: He beat her. Clouseau: He was Spanish! Hercule LaJoy: He tore her dress off. Clouseau: Oh, don't be ridiculous. Would you kill someone who tore your dress off?
5
Maria Gambrelli: Tell me, why do so many men smoke afterwards? No wonder tobacco companies get rich.
6
[Accusing a suspect, millionaire Benjamin Ballon] Clouseau: And I submit, Inspector Ballon, that you arrived home, found Miguel with Maria Gambrelli, and killed him in a rit of fealous jage!
7
Dreyfus: Give me ten men like Clouseau and I could destroy the world.
8
[Arriving at Camp Sunshine] Clouseau: I am here on official business and I am looking for someone in the recreation area. Camp Attendant: Not unless you take off your clothes... Clouseau: You, sir, are under arrest. Camp Attendant: Arrest? What for? Clouseau: For making lewd and suggestive remarks to an official of the French government. Camp Attendant: Lewd and suggestive remarks? Clouseau: Also for indecent exposure... doesn't anyone wear any clothes around here? Camp Attendant: No. Clouseau: What! Camp Attendant: This is a nudist colony.
9
Clouseau: There is something... personal... in this? Dreyfus: Yes, deeply personal. I hate you! Every little bit of you! Now get out! Clouseau: You want me to leave?
10
Clouseau: Well... that just goes to prove what I have said all along. Dreyfus: What you've said, Clouseau, qualifies you as the greatest prophet since Custer said he was going to surround all those Indians!
11
Dreyfus: What about the maid? Clouseau: The maid? Dreyfus: Was he jealous of her too? He strangled her. Clouseau: It is possible that his intended victim was a man and that he made a mistake. Dreyfus: Mistake?... in a nudist camp?
12
Clouseau: Uh... What was I saying? Uh... Listen, you, you daydreaming fool, what are you doing there? I mean, can't you pay attention when I'm talking? Don't know know what I was saying? You're not listening to me. Maurice: With the greatest respect, monsieur, I heard every word that you said. Clouseau: Would you be kind enough to tell me what it was that I said? Maurice: You were talking about the closet, monsieur... Clouseau: Uhhh, yes? Maurice: You were saying that when the closet door was open, Maria received a bump on the head, and from that that you inferred that someone had been hiding in the closet, monsieur... Clouseau: Yes, she received a bump on - And, listen, monsieur, next time I may test you without warning!
13
Clouseau: And... they were your fingerprints! Benjamin Ballon: Well, why not? It's my house. I've often been in that closet. Clouseau: For what reason? Benjamin Ballon: Last time was moths. Clouseau: "Meuths"? Benjamin Ballon: [very clearly] Moths! Clouseau: Yes, "meuths." Benjamin Ballon: Maria was complaining of "murths." [frowns at himself] Clouseau: "Meurths"? Is that right, Maria, that - that you were complaining about these "meuths"? Maria Gambrelli: Yes, I did complain about moths. Clouseau: Oh, you mean "meuths"!
14
Dreyfus: François would you please call for a doctor. Françios: Are you ill? Dreyfus: I seem to have stabbed myself with the letter opener.
15
[Clouseau has entered a house soaking wet] Clouseau: I'm sorry, my idiot driver parked too close to the fountain.
16
Clouseau: You fool! You have broken my pointing stick! Now I have nothing to point with!
17
Dreyfus: François, I seem to have cut my thumb.
18
Dreyfus: Someone has been murdered here. Please let it be Clouseau.
19
Clouseau: [after getting his hand caught in a spinning globe] Look at that. I have Africa all over my hand.
20
Clouseau: I believe everything and I believe nothing. I suspect everyone and I suspect no one.
21
Maria Gambrelli: [as Clouseau's coat is burning] Your coat, Monsieur! Clouseau: Yes, it is my coat.
22
Dreyfus: [a car bomb has just killed the killers. Dreyfus refers to four other killings] A doorman, two customers, and a Cossack! And now eight more dead! Clouseau: But they were all murderers, except for Maurice, who was a blackmailer! Dreyfus: [whimpering] They were saints compared to you!
23
Clouseau: [after bumping into Hercule] You fool! I could have killed you with a karatay chop-uh! [tries to leave and runs into him again] Clouseau: You fool! You're off the case!
24
Clouseau: Facts, Hercule, facts, behind them lays the whole fabric of deductive truth. Now, Hercule let us examine these facts: 1 [holding up 1 finger] Clouseau: she was found with the murder weapon in her hand, 2 [holding up 3 fingers] Clouseau: the murder weapon was fresh with blood, 3 [holding up 4 fingers] Clouseau: there were no fingerprints on the murder weapon other then hers and 4 [holding up all 5 fingers] Clouseau: all the members of the Ballon household staff have perfect alibis. Now then, Hercule what do these facts add up to? Hercule LaJoy: Maria Gambrelli killed Georges the gardener. Clouseau: You are an idiot, only a fresh faced novice would come up with a conclusion like that. Hercule LaJoy: But the facts. Clouseau: Listen, who even killed Miguel, killed Georges the gardener and he did it to cover up the first crime. Now what he is trying to do is lay the blame at the foot of this, this poor servant girl. Hercule LaJoy: Well who do you suspect? Clouseau: I suspect everyone. Hercule LaJoy: Well I suppose that is possible. Clouseau: Possible? What do you mean possible? I deal in certainties.
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