Other Titles • Senior Trip • National Lampoon's Senior Trip (1995) • La Folle excursion de National Lampoon (1995)
Quotes from Senior Trip (1995)
1
Virus: What about Meg? Dags: Meg's gay. Virus: Well if anyone can change her back it's you.
2
Carla: Wouldn't it be cool to screw in the principal's bedroom?
3
Dags: So why don't you just ditch the books and come to the back and party with us? Lisa: I can't. Dags: Why? Lisa: 'Cause nobody likes me! Everyone thinks I'm a frigid headcase. Dags: Well, Virus and Reggie do... but I don't! Look, why don't you prove them wrong by coming to the back and partying with us? Lisa: Okay! I can be fun!
4
Principal Moss: Open the door! Red: [Driving away] Sorry, man we got a schedule to keep. Principal Moss: Open the door! Red: What's the magic word? Principal Moss: Open the door! Red: What's the magic word? Principal Moss: Please! Red: [Opens the door] The magic word is "Rock and Roll," man.
5
Miosky: I wanna do a Jap. Virus: Hey! How about Carla Morgan? I hear she's half Jewish! [Miosky slaps Virus across the face] Miosky: Not that kind of Jap. A real Jap from China. With silky soft skin, almond eyes and straight blonde hair. Dags: A blonde Japanese. Hmmmm. Miosky: They're a rare breed, but they're out there - and I'm gonna find one.
6
Reggie Barry: Oh, and one final thing, we didn't kill Red, he partied to death!
7
Reggie Barry: Heroin, huh? Herbert Jones: Insulin. Reggie Barry: Can I, like, buy some from you?
8
Dags: Let's do some van damage.
9
Senator Lurman: We're due at the capitol and you're porking the math teacher? Miss Milford: Keyboarding teacher. Senator Lurman: Whatever.
10
Dags: We're not going anywhere with Senator Bunghole! Senator Lurman: Senator Bunghole?
11
Reggie: People, um, say that acid causes, um, brain damage... What did you say?
12
President Davis: Son, what do you see as the problems that are effecting our school system. Mioski: [silent for a minute, then he leans forward] What?
13
[The students have found secret information linked to Senator Lurman's scam] Senator Lurman: How'd you get this? Reggie: That information is on a 'need to know basis'. Senator Lurman: You're out of your league, boy! Miss Milford: Senator Lurman I can't believe what I'm hearing. Senator Lurman: Oh shut up you little slut.
14
Herbert Jones: We don't need this A space, J space, Put a Little Love in Your Heart shit. We need a challenge.
15
Ish: [The minute the kids walk into the store] Hey! I will have no trouble from you. You hear me? Behave! Dags: We'll probably get blamed before we do anything wrong.
16
Principal Moss: I'll bet you're wondering why I asked you here in the middle of the night. I have a favor to ask of you, Steve, something that will be our little secret. You up to it? [Steve kneels down on the floor] Principal Moss: What are you doing? Steve Nisser: I thought you wanted... Principal Moss: I don't want that you idiot!
17
Red: Hey, hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it. Where do you think you're going? Principal Moss: Getting on the bus. Red: You're on the wrong bus, dude. This is the magic bus. Principal Moss: I'm counting on you to stick to the schedule. It's percisley 8:06. Let's get going. Red: [to himself, after Moss walks by] Principal Dickhead.
18
Principal Moss: This is the only stop we'll be making between here and Washington D.C. So I suggest you take care of whatever necessities come to mind. Virus: Like takin' a wiz!
19
Red: You kids, Man, you sure don't know how to party. When I was your age, well, we partied, Man.
20
Steve Nisser: People think that we're nothing but a generation of losers. Sitting on our butts, playing video games and watching MTV. That's not true!
21
Principal Todd Moss: Must be another senior skip day. Dagestino thinks he can outsmart me. Not in my domain.
22
Principal Todd Moss: Dagestino and Reggie invite you to Total Destruction. 12:00, 637 Stratford Road. Mrs. Winston: Why that's your house!
23
Travis: I shall put an end to your dirty Klingon ways.
24
Reggie: Um, Dags, I just saw that psycho crossing guard guy in a car with Lt. Uhura Dags: Sure, dude.
25
Policeman: We didn't find your "Star Trek" man. We're gonna have to submit you to a breathalizer, Mr. Woo. Mrs. Woo: [to Mr. Woo] I told you not to pick him up, asshole.
26
Travis: Follow that bus, Mr. Sulu. Mr. Woo: Sulu? I'm Mr. Woo. Travis: I see. Traitors to the Federation! [pulls out a gun] Travis: Nobody moves! Wong Woo: Hey, is that a Walther PPK semi-automatic? Travis: Yes. Wong Woo: Great! You cover Dad... [Wong Woo pulls out his own Walther PPK gun and points it at his parents] Wong Woo: I'll cover Mom.
27
[at the tomb and eternal flame of J. Edgar Hoover] Miss Milford: Well now, students - J. Edgar Hoover was the founder and director of the FBI from 1924 until his death in 1972. He was a great American. Herbert Jones: He was a fascist transvestite and I hope he rots in Hell! Miss Milford: Hmm. Meg: Why can't we see Kennedy's eternal flame? Principal Moss: You people don't deserve Kennedy. Wanda Baker: Who's Kennedy?
28
[propositioning to a lady at a formal party] Virus: If you're on your knees with a tablecloth over your head, who's gonna know who it is?
29
Reggie Barry: "Pop quiz, hotshot- you have 10 underage students craving alcoholic beverages in a store containing your high school principal. What do you do? What-do-you-do?
30
[Principal Moss is fast asleep] Miss Milford: Principal Moss? Principal Moss? Principal Moss! (to the students) I can't wake him up! Reggie Barry: Is he dead? Red: Nah, he ain't dead. He's just in a coma. Miss Milford: What? Red: Yeah, I guess that car-sick pill is really working on him. It should, it's a "red." A horse tranquilizer. Miss Milford: But I saw you take a handful of them. Red: Oh, they don't work on me. That's why they call me Red. I'm immune! Reggie Barry: Hey, everybody. Moss is in a coma. Let's party!
31
Carla Morgan: "Hey Virus, I bet you've never made moves like this in your chess club. Wanna screw?"
32
Wanda Baker: Did you ever wonder if Jason has nightmares and that Freddy can invade his nightmares? Reggie Barry: Yeah. Wanda Baker: I think about that all the time.
33
Wanda Baker: Hey, I know you. You're that smart girl. You wanna get high?
34
Dags: Hey, Lisa. Wanna cut next class and go to a party? Come on. I know you like me. Lisa: Will you leave me alone? Dags: I'm concerned about you, Lisa. One day, you're gonna wake up and realize that you wasted your whole life studying. Lisa: And you're gonna wake up one day and realize that you're a loser!
35
Principal Moss: Well, this was an interesting field trip. Miss Milford: What are we going to do now? Dags: Go home. Lisa: No, we can't let this happen! Meg: But if we go, we're only gonna make the President look worse. Reggie: Just like Vietnam, no way to win. Herbert Jones: What we need is a miracle. Meg: Yeah. Like that time last year when the school got torched right before finals. Dags, Reggie: Oh. That was us. Principal Moss: That was you? Dags: Yeah. Now, if we can stop finals, we certainly can stop some Bunghole senator!
36
[the whole gang is drinking on the bus] Lisa: (drunk) Dags? Dags: (even more drunk) Yeah? W-what? Lisa: I've been thinking about our impending relationship. Which I think is a good idea. As long as you don't talk too much, you let me call the shots, and my parents never, never, NEVER find out about you, I think it could work out between us. [Dags falls out of his seat and passes out on the floor] Lisa: Hey... are you paying attention to me?
37
Carla: If I don't get laid tonight, everyone's gonna think I'm a loser. By the way, have you seen those Kennedy boys? I hear there're lots of fun.
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