Wade Garrett: This place has a sign hangin' over the urinal that says, "Don't eat the big white mint".
(24 votes)
2
Dalton: Pain don't hurt.
(24 votes)
3
Jimmy: I used to fuck guys like you in prison.
(44 votes)
4
Red Webster: Don't ever marry an ugly woman, she'll suck the life right out of ya.
(20 votes)
5
Dalton: Take the biggest guy in the world, shatter his knee and he'll drop like a stone.
(20 votes)
6
Jimmy: Prepare to die. Dalton: You are such an asshole.
(1 vote)
7
Emmett: Calling me sir is like putting an elevator in an outhouse. It don't belong.
(1 vote)
8
Dalton: Nobody ever wins a fight.
(3 votes)
9
Morgan: What am I supposed to do? Dalton: There's always barber college.
(2 votes)
10
Wade Garrett: That gal's got entirely too many brains to have an ass like that.
11
Doc: Do you always carry your medical record around with you? Dalton: Saves time.
12
Tinker: A polar bear fell on me.
13
Dalton: My way... or the highway.
14
Wade Garrett: [Eyeing the sign over the Double Deuce] The Double Douche!
15
Dalton: All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three, be nice.
16
Jimmy: Damn, boy. I thought you were good. Dalton: Go fuck yourself.
17
Dalton: People who really want to have a good time won't come to a slaughterhouse. And we've got entirely too many troublemakers here. Too many 40-year-old adolescents, felons, power drinkers and trustees of modern chemistry.
18
Dalton: If somebody gets in your face and calls you a cocksucker, I want you to be nice. Ask him to walk. Be nice. If he won't walk, walk him. But be nice. If you can't walk him, one of the others will help you, and you'll both be nice. I want you to remember that it's a job. It's nothing personal.
19
Dalton: I want you to be nice until it's time to not be nice.
20
Steve: Being called a cocksucker isn't personal? Dalton: No. It's two nouns combined to elicit a prescribed response. Steve: What if somebody callas my mama a whore? Dalton: Is she?
21
Emmett: It ain't the money ya understand, but if I don't charge ya somethin' the Presbyterians around here are likely to pray for my ruination. How does a hundred dollars a month strike ya? Dalton: Fine. Emmett: Can ya afford that much? Dalton: If it keeps you in the good graces of the church. Emmett: Ain't it peculiar how money seems to do that very thing?
22
Doc: Your file says you've got a degree from NYU. What in? Dalton: Philosophy. Doc: Any particular discipline? Dalton: No. Not really. Man's search for faith. That sort of shit. Doc: Come up with any answers? Dalton: Not too many. Doc: How's a guy like you end up a bouncer? Dalton: Just lucky I guess.
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