PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN
RATING: 6/10
http://www.joblo.com/piratesofthecaribbean.htm
For more reviews and movie wallpapers, visit http://www.joblo.com/
PLOT:
An abandoned, goofy pirate finds his way to a small town which is soon
thereafter, invaded by actual, cursed buccaneers. In the ensuing fray, the
governor's daughter is nabbed by the baddies and the rogue pirate, recruited by
a local Legolasian blacksmith. The duo set sail to find the lovely lady and in
doing so, learn more about themselves. Aaaaaaaaah. Oh yeah, skeleton pirates
ensue!!
CRITIQUE:
A fun, easy-going movie offering a handful of chuckles, a bunch of adventures, a
decent storyline, three gorgeous leads, and plenty of skeletons swinging swords,
but ultimately too PG-13 for my taste, a tad redundant during its midsection and
definitely too long at a bloated 140-minutes. But before I get into any of the
specifics, allow me to say that if any other actor than Sir Johnny Depp had
played the lead role of Jack Sparrow (oops, I mean...Captain Jack Sparrow), I
would likely have fallen asleep about halfway through this film. That's not to
say that the rest of the movie stinks without him-it doesn't, it's actually a
decent, if somewhat safe summer ride (kinda like the Disney theme ride on which
it's based), but Depp absolutely makes this film happen with his hilarious
performance as the mascara-sporting, wobble-legged drunken pirate channeling a
drag queen through the rhythm and manner of The Rolling Stones' Keith Richards
(and did I sense a tribute to his own performance from FEAR & LOATHING in there
as well?) Thank you, Mr. Depp...for remaining the quintessential actor's actor,
a man who doesn't ride fame on his good looks, but injects every single one of
his performances with a special touch, a differing wink, a memorable line or
look. I'm investing this ink on Depp because he really takes this film to
another level and even had me missing him in scenes in which he was not a part.
Sure, Keira Knightley is a babe and a half and Orlando Bloom, a dashing co-star,
but Depp...aaaaaah, Depp. Harumph...alright, enough about him. Geoffrey Rush
also does a decent job of playing the over-the-top villain, but unfortunately
for him, managed to come off as somewhat "boring" compared to the actor to whom
I just jerked off a couple of lines ago.
Okay, so other than Depp...what else did I like in the movie? Well, I dug the
scenery, the ships, the authenticity of the towns, the ghost-like atmosphere
everywhere, as well as the score which was perfectly booming for such a "pirate
movie". I also loved the film's finale, which actually lassoed me back into its
good graces after losing me during its elongated middle part, in which lots of
sailing, explosions and Depp-less scenes left my eyes wandering through the
audience for schmucks wearing bandanas over their own skulls (the sap next to me
was a ringer). The film's conclusion was also its most active and entertaining
as the cursed pirates finally came out to play and the awesome CGI provided us a
wonderful eye's view of their skeleton ghostly remains swashbuckling their boney
asses off. A couple of earlier "action" scenes had been decent, but not
particularly memorable. Having said all that, the whole "pirates" genre never
interested me much in the first place, with explosions, big-ass ship bombings
and men swinging their swords at one another simply not exciting me all that
much. The film's also peppered with a couple of "let's act goofy for the kids"
characters on each side of the law, with two of the pirates playing moron, and
two more "good guy" soldiers doing the same. Didn't work for me. I liked the
extremely well-executed homages to the actual Disney ride though, as well as the
one small sequence featuring Jonathan Pryce which I took to be an homage to Sam
Raimi and the EVIL DEAD flicks. Nice. Final verdict? Without Johnny Depp as the
charismatic lead or the superior skeleton CGI fights, this film would have been
perfect fare for a simple night at your local Shitbuster Video, or a decent
afternoon for you and the kids. I personally would have liked more on-screen
violence, more gore, more cleavage, more blood, more...actually, ANY of the
above would have been nice to begin with, but this film plays it close to the
vest, offers some easy-going summer entertainment, and despite running way too
long and feeling somewhat "been there, done that", ultimately makes for an
enjoyable evening back in the time of pirates, treasures, wenches and Natalie
Portman lookalikes in distress.
Where's JoBlo coming from?
The Count of Monte Cristo (7/10) - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (7/10) -
Gladiator (8/10) - Highlander: Endgame (2/10) - The Mummy (8/10) - The Mummy 2
(8/10) - The Musketeer (4/10) - The Ring (8/10) - The Scorpion King (5/10) -
Sinbad (5/10) - Treasure Planet (8/10)
Review Date: July 7, 2003
Director: Gore Verbinski
Writers: Ted Ellliot, Terry Rossio
Producer: Jerry Bruckheimer
Actors: Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow
Orlando Bloom as Will Turner
Keira Knightley as Elizabeth Swann
Genre: Action
Year of Release: 2003
-------------------------------------
JoBlo's Movie Emporium
http://www.joblo.com/
-------------------------------------
(c) 2003 Berge Garabedian
==========
X-RAMR-ID: 35249
X-Language: en
X-RT-ReviewID: 1173365
X-RT-TitleID: 1123873
X-RT-SourceID: 573
X-RT-AuthorID: 1021
X-RT-RatingText: 6/10
NOTE: This review was posted on the usenet
to the rec.arts.movies.reviews newsgroup.
Mooviees.com accepts no responsibility for the contents of the review.
Unless stated otherwise, the copyright belongs to the author.
Movie Database
In Theaters
