Patrick Bateman: There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.
(184 votes)
2
Patrick Bateman: I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.
(153 votes)
3
Patrick Bateman: There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone, in fact I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape, but even after admitting this there is no catharsis, my punishment continues to elude me and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself; no new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing.
(118 votes)
4
Patrick Bateman: [voiceover] As we arrive at Espace I'm on the verge of tears as I'm certain we won't get a decent table. But we do; relief washes over me in an awesome wave.
(102 votes)
5
ATM Machine: Feed me a stray cat.
(66 votes)
6
[Recurring line] Patrick Bateman: I have to return some videotapes.
(33 votes)
7
Patrick Bateman: Do you like Huey Lewis and the news? Paul Allen: They're OK. Patrick Bateman: Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in '83,I think they really came into their own, commercial and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consimante professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far much more bitter, cynical sense of humour. Paul Allen: Hey Halberstram. Patrick Bateman: Yes, Allen? Paul Allen: Why are their copies of the style section all over the place, d-do you have a dog? A little chow or something? Patrick Bateman: No, Allen. Paul Allen: Is that a rain coat? Patrick Bateman: Yes it is! In '87, Huey released this, Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself. [raises axe above head] Patrick Bateman: Hey Paul! [he bashes Allen in the head with the axe, and blood splatters over him] Patrick Bateman: TRY GETTING A RESERVATION AT DORSIA NOW YOU FUCKING STUPID BASTARD! YOU, FUCKING BASTARD!
(25 votes)
8
Patrick Bateman: I want you to clean your vagina.
(32 votes)
9
Patrick Bateman: I don't want to get you drunk, but, ah, that's a very fine Chardonnay you're not drinking.
(17 votes)
10
Patrick Bateman: Harold, it's Bateman, Patrick Bateman. You're my lawyer so I think you should know: I've killed a lot of people. Some girls in the apartment uptown uh, some homeless people maybe 5 or 10 um an NYU girl I met in Central Park. I left her in a parking lot behind some donut shop. I killed Bethany, my old girlfriend, with a nail gun, and some man uh some old faggot with a dog last week. I killed another girl with a chainsaw, I had to, she almost got away and uh someone else there I can't remember maybe a model, but she's dead too. And Paul Allen. I killed Paul Allen with an axe in the face, his body is dissolving in a bathtub in Hell's Kitchen. I don't want to leave anything out here. I guess I've killed maybe 20 people, maybe 40. I have tapes of a lot of it, uh some of the girls have seen the tapes. I even, um... I ate some of their brains, and I tried to cook a little. Tonight I, uh, I just had to kill a LOT of people. And I'm not sure I'm gonna get away with it this time. I guess I'll uh, I mean, ah, I guess I'm a pretty uh, I mean I guess I'm a pretty sick guy. So, if you get back tomorrow, meet me at Harry's Bar, so you know, keep your eyes open.
(16 votes)
11
Patrick Bateman: You're a fucking ugly bitch. I want to stab you to death, and then play around with your blood.
(15 votes)
12
Patrick Bateman: Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Christy, take off your robe. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. Sabrina, remove your dress. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Sabrina, why don't you, uh, dance a little. Take the lyrics to Land of Confusion. In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. In Too Deep is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I've heard in rock. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds. Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I stress the word artist. This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite.
(13 votes)
13
Craig McDermott: If they have a great personality and they're not great looking... then who fucking cares? Patrick Bateman: Well, let's just say hypotetically ok? What if they have a great personality? [pause, all laugh] Patrick Bateman: I know, I know. [all in unison] Patrick Bateman, Craig McDermott, David Van Patten: There are no girls with good personalities. David Van Patten: A good personality consists of a chick with a little hard body, who will satisfy all sexual demands without being too slutty about things, and who essentially will keep her dumb fucking mouth shut. Craig McDermott: The only girls with good personalities who are smart or maybe funny or halfway intelligent or talented, though god knows what the fuck that means, are ugly chicks. David Van Patten: Absolutely. Craig McDermott: And this is because they have to make up for how fucking unnattractive they are.
(12 votes)
14
Waiter: Would you like to hear today's specials? Patrick Bateman: Not if you want to keep your spleen.
(10 votes)
15
Patrick Bateman: I like to dissect girls. Did you know I'm utterly insane?
(8 votes)
16
Patrick Bateman: Oh, Africa, brave Africa. It was... a laugh riot.
(7 votes)
17
Patrick Bateman: I don't think we should see each other any more. Evelyn Williams: Why? What's wrong? Patrick Bateman: I need to engage in homicidal behaviour on a massive scale. It can not be corrected but I have no other way to fulfill my needs.
(7 votes)
18
[Just after breaking up] Evelyn Williams: Where are you going? Patrick Bateman: I am just leaving. Evelyn Williams: But where? Patrick Bateman: I have to return some videotapes.
(7 votes)
19
Patrick Bateman: I don't think we should see each other. Evelyn Williams: But your friends are my friends and my friends are your friends. I don't think it would work. You have a little something... Patrick Bateman: I know that your friends are my friends and, uh... I thought about that. You can have'em.
(7 votes)
20
Jean: What's that? Patrick Bateman: Duct tape. I need it for... taping something.
(6 votes)
21
David Van Patten: [re: business card] Nice color. Patrick Bateman: That's 'Bone'.
(5 votes)
22
Patrick Bateman: Hey, I'm a child of divorce, gimme a break!
(5 votes)
23
Evelyn Williams: You're inhuman. Patrick Bateman: No... .I'm in touch with humanity.
(5 votes)
24
Evelyn Williams: Thousands of roses and lots of chocolate truffles. Godiva, and oysters in the half-shell. Patrick Bateman: [Bateman narrating] I'm trying to listen to the new Robert Palmer tape, but Evelyn, my supposed fiancée, keeps buzzing in my ear. Evelyn Williams: Annie Leibovitz. We'll get Annie Leibovitz. And we'll have to get someone to videotape. Patrick, we should do it. Patrick Bateman: Do what? Evelyn Williams: Get married. Have a wedding. Patrick Bateman: No, I can't take the time off work. Evelyn Williams: Your father practically owns the company. You can do anything you like, silly. Patrick Bateman: I don't want to talk about it. Evelyn Williams: I hate that job anyway. I don't see why you just don't quit. Patrick Bateman: Because I want to fit in.
(5 votes)
25
Patrick Bateman: Ask me a question. Daisy: What do you do? Patrick Bateman: I'm into... well murders and executions mostly. Daisy: Do you like it? Patrick Bateman: It depends. Why? Daisy: Because most guys I know who work with mergers an acquisitions really don't like it.
(6 votes)
26
Patrick Bateman: Just cool it with the anti-Semitic remarks.
(5 votes)
27
Patrick Bateman: Did you know that Ted Bundy's first dog was a collie named Lassie? [laughs] Jean: Who's Ted Bundy?
(6 votes)
28
Evelyn Williams: What about the past? Patrick Bateman: We never really shared one.
(4 votes)
29
Patrick Bateman: He was into that whole Yale thing. Donald Kimball: Yale thing? Patrick Bateman: Yeah, Yale thing. Donald Kimball: What whole Yale thing? Patrick Bateman: Well, he was probably a closet homosexual who did a lot of cocaine. That whole Yale thing.
(5 votes)
30
Patrick Bateman: [in bed] Don't touch the watch.
(3 votes)
31
Patrick Bateman: Do you know what Ed Gein said about women? David Van Patten: The maitre 'd at Canal Bar? Patrick Bateman: No, serial killer, Wisconsin, the '50s. Craig McDermott: So what did he say? Patrick Bateman: "When I see a pretty girl walking down the street, I think two things. One part wants me to take her out, talk to her, be real nice and sweet and treat her right." David Van Patten: And what did the other part think? Patrick Bateman: "What her head would look like on a stick..." [laughs]
(3 votes)
32
Timothy Bryce: He makes himself out to be a harmless old codger, but inside... inside... Patrick Bateman: [voice-over] ..."but inside" doesn't matter. Craig McDermott: "Inside," yes, "inside..." - believe it or not, Bryce, we're actually listening to you... Timothy Bryce: Come on, Bateman, what do you think? Patrick Bateman: Whatever.
(3 votes)
33
Patrick Bateman: Paul Allen has mistaken me for this dickhead Marcus Halberstram. It seems logical because Marcus also works at P&P and in fact does the same exact thing I do and he also has a penchant for Valentino suits and Oliver Peoples glasses. Marcus and I even go to the same barber, although I have a slightly better haircut.
(3 votes)
34
Evelyn Williams: You hate that job anyway. I don't see why you don't just quit. Patrick Bateman: Because I want to fit in.
(3 votes)
35
Patrick Bateman: I'm on a diet. Jean: What, you're kidding, right? You look great... so fit... and thin. Patrick Bateman: Well, you can always be thinner... look better. Jean: Then maybe we shouldn't go out to dinner. I wouldn't want you to lose your willpower. Patrick Bateman: That's okay. I'm not very good at controlling it anyway.
(3 votes)
36
Patrick Bateman: I think if you stay, something bad will happen. I think I might hurt you. You don't want to get hurt, do you? Jean: No. No, I guess not. I don't want to get bruised.
(4 votes)
37
Patrick Bateman: [excusing himself from Detective Kimball] Listen, you'll have to excuse me. I have a lunch meeting with Cliff Huxtable at the Four Seasons in 20 minutes.
(2 votes)
38
Patrick Bateman: Not quite blonde, are we? More of a dirty blonde.
(2 votes)
39
Jean: Make someone happy. Have you ever wanted to? Patrick Bateman: I'm looking for, uh... [Puts nail gun to the back of Jean's head] Patrick Bateman: I guess you could say I just want to have a meaningful relationship with someone special.
(2 votes)
40
Patrick Bateman: [voice-over] There is a moment of sheer panic when I realize that Paul's apartment overlooks the park... and is obviously more expensive than mine.
(2 votes)
41
Patrick Bateman: Jean, I'm not going to make it... I'm not going to... make it... to the office this afternoon. Jean: [alarmed] What is it, Patrick? Are you all right? Patrick Bateman: Stop sounding so fucking... sad. Jesus.
(2 votes)
42
[repeated line] Patrick Bateman: Just say no.
(2 votes)
43
[to Al, a homeless person] Patrick Bateman: Get a god-damn job Al.
(2 votes)
44
Patrick Bateman: [to drycleaner] If you don't shut your fucking mouth, I will kill you.
(1 vote)
45
Timothy Bryce: [after snorting "cut" cocaine] I want to get high off this, not sprinkle it on my fucking Oaties. Patrick Bateman: Definitely weak, but I have a feeling that if we do enough of it we'll be okay. Club Patron: [leans over from another booth] Will you keep it down? I'm trying to do drugs! Timothy Bryce: [speaks to the patron in the next booth] HEY, FUCK YOU!
(1 vote)
46
Courtney Rawlinson: Stop it, I'm... Patrick Bateman: - on a lot of lithium?
(2 votes)
47
Patrick Bateman: Wasn't Rothschild originally handling the Fisher account? How did you get it? Paul Allen: Well, Halberstram, I could tell you... but then I'd have to kill ya.
48
Courtney Rawlinson: Listen Patrick, can we talk? Patrick Bateman: You look... marvelous. There's nothing to say.
49
Patrick Bateman: You're dating Louis and he's in Arizona. You're fucking me and we don't have plans tonight. What could you possibly be doing?
50
Courtney Rawlinson: Will you call me before Easter? Patrick Bateman: Maybe.
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