[Lin slaps Chon Wang] Chon Wang: I just saved you! Chon Lin: You were late!
(34 votes)
2
[why Chon should sleep with the woman for money] Roy: Think about your sister in London. Chon Wang: What?
(37 votes)
3
Roy: This country blows.
(31 votes)
4
Roy: Hey you lost one war this way don't make the same mistake twice.
(30 votes)
5
Roy: [at Scotland Yard] This isn't a yard! It's a JAIL!
(27 votes)
6
Roy: That's a terrible name for a detective. Sherlock Holmes?
7
Roy: Just break it open! Chon Wang: No. I have to have patience, and when I open it, I'll be ready to read the message. Roy: Oh, c'mon, Confucius, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!
8
Roy: I thought of title for a new book: "Roy O'Bannon vs. Little Lord Sissy". Or how about: "Ray O'Bannon versus the Man who would be Queen"?
9
Roy: I call that my kung pow chicken.
10
Roy: [In London] What's wrong with these people, their driving on the wrong side of the road... Bunch of amateurs!
11
Chon Wang: Who loves you, baby?
12
Roy: I'm gettin' ready to launch a little thing called operation sweep her off her feet.
13
Roy: [to Chon Lin] You have a GREAT body. There! I said it! It's out in the open!
14
Chon Wang: You know what I call him? Not Roy O'Bannon. Roy O'Boloney!
15
Roy: Ooooh... You think you're so cool with your karate... and your child-like reflexes!
16
Roy: Look at you! Chon Wang: Look at you! Roy: What brings you to New York? Chon Wang: My share of the gold. Roy: Refresh my memory. What gold are we talking about?
17
Chon Wang: We are wasting time. Roy: What do you think I've been doing? Sittin' here and drinking expensive hooch?
18
Chon Wang: I look like a fool. Roy: What? You're a Maharajah! That's Indian royalty! Chon Wang: But I'm Chinese. Roy: It's the same thing.
19
Chon Wang: I think he's offering you food. Roy: Oh! Spotted Dick! Oh no, I think I'll pass. I'm not really a dessert man.
20
Roy: That's what I love about China. Everyone's job description is so damn cool!
21
Roy: And just to set the record straight... Roy O'Bannon is not attracted to loose women; loose women are attracted to me.
22
Roy: I see a lot of myself in that kid. It's kinda freakin' me out.
23
Chon Wang: Wu Chow! Roy: Wu who?
24
Roy: I'm a thirty year old waiter/gigolo. Where's the future in that?
25
Chon Wang: For father. Chon Lin: For father. Roy: For Old Man Wang.
26
Roy: Just be glad I didn't invest the gold in that automobile industry. Like that will ever be big.
27
Chon Wang: [wants Roy to climb to an opening in the ceiling] Come on Roy Roy: This isn't Chinatown. I can't just slide through the air. Chon Wang: Roy, hurry Roy: What in our history together makes you think I'm capable of something like that?
28
Chon Wang: If you break her heart, I break your legs. Roy: That's fair.
29
Roy: There's this new venture in California: moving pictures. They're silent so we won't have to worry about the language problem but I think people would really go for that action stuff. Chon Wang: Chon Wang [sounds like "John Wayne"] Chon Wang: movie star. It could work.
30
Roy: I'm am not gonna die hanging from a clock. Oh look, I can see our hotel from here.
31
Roy: [about Lin] Put her down! Put her down! Lord Rathbone: Or what, Mr. O'Bannon? Are you going to kick my ass? I've read about all your ridiculous exploits. Just, how did it feel to kill a mummy with your bare hands? Only a nation of uneducated rednecks would be amused by such cowboy drivel. Roy: Woah, woah, woah. Easy. What's with the personal attacks? You don't see me making any comments about your pasty complection or your snotty accent, or even your filthy, smutty sex books! Yeah, I saw the book. It disgusted me. Roy: [is hit in the head] Roy: OW! Why is it always the head with you people?!
32
Roy: You decadent Philistine!
33
Roy: I'm guessing by your hasty retreat, that you're still 20th in line for the throne. Lord Rathbone: [irritated] 10th!
34
Lord Rathbone: [repeated line] One more.
35
Roy: [after waking up to a sheep licking his face] I've just been violated by a barnyard animal, John!
36
Chon Lin: [after kissing Roy] Be careful. Roy: Tell Rathbone to be careful!
37
Chon Lin: Once, I sent him over the Great Wall. He was lost for three days!
38
Roy: This is your first time in England, isn't it? How do you know your way around? It's incredible. Chon Lin: I always had a good sense of direction. Roy: You can say that again. I wish we could say the same about you-know-who. I once sent him over a mountain range, he was lost forever. Chon Lin: One time I sent him over the great wall. He was lost for three days!
39
Server: Spotted dick, sir? Roy: What? Server: Spotted dick? Roy: Can you believe this guy? I'm trying to get something to eat and he's asking me if I got the clap.
40
Chon Wang: What do you see? Roy: He just pulled a fancy dragon key out of his desk. Chon Wang: That was my father's! I must avenge his honor. Roy: Slow down, Tiger. Slow down. Quit going all Chinese on me.
41
Roy: Damnit, Chon. Remember your puzzle box. Patience, patience!
42
Chon Wang: Roy! The painting! It's looking at me! Roy: Oh yeah, it looks like it's looking at me too. That's great.
43
[Roy sees the eyes in the painting move] Roy: Ah! Chon! Demons!
44
Roy: She's gonna fight my battles for me.
45
Roy: Wait, there's something different about this room.
46
Roy: I'm a bat out of hell! Besides, I don't know where the brake is.
47
Lord Rathbone: Perhaps you could explain to me how Looney Lin managed to escape from the confines of Scotland Yard under the watch of the most respected police force in the world. Doyle: Yes, of course, it's absolutely fascinating. She picked the lock using a deck of rather risqué playing cards. Then scaled the walls with a mop, a fork, and various pilfered undergarments. I've got to hand it to the Chinese, they're awfully ingenious, Lord, aren't they? Lord Rathbone: Does your incompetence know no bounds?
48
Roy: Can I tell you something? Chon Wang: What? Roy: This is a hell of a damn adventure we're on and I'm having an absolute ball with you.
49
Chon Wang: Roy! There you are. Need anything, buddy? Roy: A whole lot of "leave me alone."
50
Roy: You just smashed my puzzle box. I'll never figure out my message.
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