"So help me me."--God (George Burns) being sworn in to testify in court
2
God: I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me me.
3
Jerry Landers: If you're God, how can You permit all the suffering that goes on in the world? God: I don't permit the suffering - you do.
4
Bobbie Landers: I went to take out the garbage today and two people blessed me! And one of them blessed the garbage!
5
God: The last miracle I did was the 1969 Mets. Before that, I think you have to go back to the Red Sea.
6
God: The reason I put everyone here naked... I wasn't trying to be cute. It's just that with clothes there's right away pockets, and pockets, you gotta put something in 'em.
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