Underworld (2003)

"Underworld" - Underdeveloped
by Homer Yen
(c) 2003

Earlier this year, I had the pleasure of visiting one of my favorite destinations, Las Vegas. One of my preferred locales to hang out, to soak up the atmosphere, and to lounge around is at a bar within the MGM Grand called Tabu. It's where doormen approve your attire before allowing you to enter. It's where accent lighting adorns every shelf to give the voluminous amount of liquor bottles that jazzy-cool glow. It's where Euro-studs, cover girls, and other fashion-conscious people mix and mingle under soft lights and club-like music.

It's almost like being at a bizarre kind of zoo. And the allure of this kind of place is a rare opportunity to watch a different type of partygoer. So, after a few cocktails at $8 a glass and after an hour of absorbing all that this ultra-lounge has to offer, I am ready to leave. To stay any longer would be pointless. It would only dull the sensations that I have developed during my brief but satisfying stay.

Watching "Underworld" is like spending time at this ultra-lounge. It is a beautiful-looking, gothic thriller that initially provides the same feelings that I experienced while visiting Tabu. However, the movie ultimately proves to be too lengthy and noncommittal, thus dulling most of our sensations.

"Underworld" offers the premise of an apocalyptic battle that has been brewing between two species over the better part of several centuries. It pits vampires against werewolves. But immediately, it runs into the problem of failing to allow us to root for one or the other. The opening sequence involves a shootout in the tunnels of a subway system. The visuals are murky, the editing is too quick, and the good guys and the bad guys are indistinguishable. When a werewolf or a vampire dies in that battle, no one in the audience seems sure how to react.

The rest of the film doesn't do much to give us any insight. This not only bothers us but also frustrates a vampire warrior named Selene (Kate Beckinsdale). She is looking for answers that have been hidden from her. This, you may feel, causes her to do some outrageously questionable things. She becomes attracted to a suspected werewolf (Scott Speedman); she ignores the wishes of her superior, Craven (Shane Brolly); she attacks without a coherent plan. Well, I suppose if we can't quite follow the story, it really is impossible for her to know what to really do. One thing that we are sure of is that she looks fantastic in that body-hugging leather outfit.

And that's what this film pretty much turns out to be. It is a movie that showcases high-fashion designs, high-tech weapons, and high-caliber visual effects. VH1 plays films that have a musical subject. ESPN plays films that have sports content. If the Fashion Channel ever started showing films, it would definitely show "Underworld".

Ultimately, it's a struggle for us to accurately follow the action as every scene is shot at night. Meanwhile, everybody wears similarly styled clothing and sports similar haircuts that are popular with Guess male models. It's really only crystal clear when the werewolves morph from human form into their hideous and awesome natural form. Now, we can say with certainty, "Aha! That's a werewolf!" Sadly, while the film looks great, there's very little else of which we are certain. For a movie about vampires and werewolves, I'm surprised how lifeless this film actually is.

Grade: C

S:        0 out of 3
L:        2 out of 3
V:        3 out of 3

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X-RAMR-ID: 35807
X-Language: en
X-RT-ReviewID: 1200043
X-RT-TitleID: 1125642
X-RT-AuthorID: 1370
X-RT-RatingText: C