Underworld (2003)

UNDERWORLD (2003) 1 star out of 4. Starring Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Michael Sheen, Shane Brolly, Erwin Leder and Bill Nighy. Story by Kevin Grevioux, Len Wiseman and Danny McBride. Screenplay by Danny McBride. Directed by Len Wiseman. Rated R. Runnng time: 121 minutes.

At one point a vampire elder refers to the proposed union of vampires and werewolves as an abomination.

Nearly the same can be said for Underworld, a mindless, violent and senseless union of Blade, The Matrix with a dash of Romeo and Juliet.

Underworld strives mightily to be stylish and moody, with its constant rain, nighttime settings and via its costumes and art direction, but no matter how hard it tries it just cannot conjure the right atmosphere.

Perhaps it's the idea of clans of Vampires and werewolves, here called Lycans, dressed in what resembles Neo and Trinity discards from The Matrix or warring on each other with automatic weapons that shoot silver bullets or driving around in cars and vans. Or perhaps, it's their use of technology -- computers, surveillance cameras -- that strikes a discordant note.

Heck, they could be the Jets and the Sharks or even the Colts and the Bengals.

No crucifixes, no bats, no wooden stakes, no sense of the occult, mystery or suspense. Underworld plays like someone is turning the pages of a comic book. It lacks the panache, the terror that's supposed to grip you when watching a good horror film.

Underworld is many things: brutal, bloody, action-packed, but what it isn't outweighs its few attributes.

Another failing is the acting: There isn't any. Characters -- Vampire and Lycan alike -- pose, strut and try to look menacing, but they're as scary as a congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses.

Kate Beckinsale stars as Selene, a hunter Vampire, who tries to discover the mystery of a human, Michael (Scott Speedman), and why the Lycans have taken such an interest in him.

It doesn't take too long to unravel the mystery, which has to do with ending the centuries-old war between the two clans, bloodlines, lies, betrayals and love.

Beckinsale pouts and shoots her way through the entire affair without cracking a smile, mussing her hair, changing her clothes.

Speedman merely acts confused, while the various other creatures of the night try to act either regal or beastlike, depending on whom they serve.

Underworld could be classified as a guilty pleasure quickie, a movie that should have gone directly to the home entertainment bin.

And you know the scariest thing about the whole enterprise? The ending leaves an opening for a sequel.

Bob Bloom is the film critic at the Journal and Courier in Lafayette, IN. He can be reached by e-mail at bbloom@journalandcourier.com or at bobbloom@iquest.net. Other reviews by Bloom can be found at www.jconline.com by clicking on movies. Bloom's reviews also appear on the Web at the Rottentomatoes Web site, www.rottentomatoes.com and at the Internet Movie Database: http://www.imdb.com/M/reviews_by?Bob+Bloom

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X-RT-RatingText: 1/4