Buzz: I don't date dancers. It's very simple, I've made it a rule: Dancers don't want to date me, so... fuck 'em!
(26 votes)
2
Buzz: Just once I'd like to see a "West Side Story" where everybody gets it; the Jets and the Sharks, and Officer Krupke; or a "Sound of Music" where the entire Von Trapp family dies in a horrible alpine avalanche; or "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" where nothing happens, and it's not funny.
(24 votes)
3
Perry: One thing you are NOT is a big queen. Arthur: You're right, I'm butch; I can catch a ball, I genuinely like both my parents, and I hate opera. I don't know why I bother being gay.
(21 votes)
4
Arthur: I see you've had an accident. Back in Catholic Boys' School we used to call them "Nocturnal Emissions." It always made me think of Chopin; Nocturnal Emissions in G Minor.
(20 votes)
5
James: I must say, for a young country you've turned out almost as many pooftahs in 2 centuries as we have in 20.
(20 votes)
6
[Driving into the weekend] Perry Sellars: Cunt! Cunt! Fuck you in your ultimate driving machine!
7
Buzz Hauser: I am sick to death of straight people. Tell the truth, aren't you? There's just too goddamn many of them. I was in a bank the other day; they were everywhere -- writing checks, making deposits. Two of them were applying for a mortgage. It's disgusting! They're taking over. No one wants to talk about it, but it's true.
8
Bobby Brahms: So, is he attractive? Arthur Pape: I'm not supposed to notice these things, but I believe the word is "hot."
9
John Jeckyll: [to his twin brother, James] There are so many things I've never said to you. Things we've never spoken about. I don't want to wait until it's too late to say them.....I resent you. I resent everything about you. You had Mom and Dad's unconditional love, now you have the world's. How could I not envy that? I wish I could say it was because you're so much better looking than me. No, the real pain is that it's something so much harder to bear. You got the good soul; I got the bad one. Think about leaving me yours...So, what's your secret? The secret to unconditional love, I'm not going to let you die with it.
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