Other Titles • The Guru • The Guru of Sex (2001) • Der Guru (2002) • Der Super-Guru (2002)
Quotes from The Guru (2002)
1
Mira: Ramu is on TV! Mrs. Gupta: What he is talking about? Nana: Sexual intercourse.
(31 votes)
2
Hank the Cameraman: [wedding guests are unaware that Hank is a porno cameramen] Pretend that I'm not here.
(21 votes)
3
Vijay: Do you know why they call it the American Dream? Because it only happens when you are asleep.
(22 votes)
4
Vijay: [shouting while knockin at the door of his roomates] IMIGRATION!
(19 votes)
5
Vijay: Name one famous Indian in America. Sanjay: That guy from the Simpsons. Vijay: He is a cartoon!
(21 votes)
6
Father: Enough of this swapping of spit! Let's celebrate!
7
Ramu Gupta: Why are you afraid? Kitty: What makes you think that I'm afraid? Ramu Gupta: I feel it.
8
Hoseman: Rusty! My heart beats for you. [everyone else looks around perplexed]
9
Sharonna: I'm engaged to a nice, normal guy. Do you know how hard it is to find a nice, normal guy in New York?
10
Hank the Cameraman: Alright, you wanna lose the pants? Ramu Gupta: Is that part of the movie? Hank the Cameraman: Could be.
11
Ramu Gupta: Is the Mercedes in the shop or something? Vijay: Or something.
12
Ramu Gupta: [Upon seeing the apartment] You're a real bastard, you know that?
13
Vijay: You have a roof over your head, clothes on your back, food in your belly, what more do you want? Ramu Gupta: I want what you promised.
14
Ramu Gupta: You need to do your own thing. Live your own life. [walks away angrily] Lexi: I'm going to meditate on that.
15
Ramu Gupta: The most powerful sexual organ is your brain. Think about it. [Faces woman] Ramu Gupta: Are you thinking? Turned-on Woman: My whole body is about to think!
16
Rasphal the Cook: Is he doing the Macarena?
17
Chantal: I give you Swami Bu. Vijay: Swami, you're on. [a drunk Swami collapes] Vijay: Swami Bu has gone to another dimension.
18
Chantal: What's wrong? You haven't been up here since the Reagan administration.
19
Lexi: You can't just go away. [shouting] Lexi: I have abandon issues!
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