Other Titles • Bordello of Blood • Dead Easy (1996) • Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood (1996)
Quotes from Bordello of Blood (1996)
1
Katherine: A whorehouse? Rafe: A house inhabited by whores.
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2
Lilith: Two! Four! Six! Eight! You can watch me masturbate.
(10 votes)
3
Vincent Prather: You're a smart boy, Miguel. Because of that I'm gonna let you have some of what we find. Miguel: Ah! Remember that you said that. Vincent Prather: I will. I'm gonna let it have some of you, too.
(10 votes)
4
Caleb Verdoux: Oh my God, it's a necrophiliac's wet dream!
(10 votes)
5
Lillith: Don't eat your heart out, baby -- that's MY job.
(10 votes)
6
Rafe Guttman: You're reminding me why being married to you drove me to the brink of homosexuality.
7
[Zeke's shot knocks a beer onto a girl.] Rafe Guttman: Six pack in the side cleavage!
8
Zeke: Step outside! Rafe Guttman: Sorry, Zeke -- I'm just not in the mood for a blowjob.
9
[Rafe is trying to gain access to the whorehouse, which is disguised as a funeral home.] Rafe Guttman: I'm here for the, um, Cunningham wake. McCutheon: I'm afraid the wake is closed tonight. Come back tomorrow. Rafe Guttman: I, uh, really must pay my respects right now. McCutheon: Then I suggest you come back TOMORROW. Rafe Guttman: Maybe you don't understand me. I'm feeling excruciatingly SAD. McCutheon: I'm so sorry. Rafe Guttman: And if I don't grieve right now -- maybe even grieve two or three times -- I'm going to go out of my mind, okay? McCutheon: Then I suggest you go mourn somewhere in private -- with a box of tissues!
10
Rafe Guttman: I'm not going to tell you those aren't the Breasts of the Century, but I'm just not digging the owner, so why don't you put those away; you're just not my type.
11
Rafe Guttman: Ah, the girls! Let them eat a guy named "Cake."
12
Tamara: Guess where you just landed, lover? Rafe Guttman: Larry Flynt's id?
13
[After ripping Jenkin's head off.] Lillith: I just love a man who gives you head -- and lets you keep it!
14
Rafe Guttman: I feel like I'm in a bad episode of Tales From The Crypt!
15
[talking to a she-vampire] Rafe Guttman: I'd rather Crazy Glue my dick to the bullet train than fuck you.
16
[seeing a televangelist's glitzy chapel] Rafe Guttman: Nice place, Katherine. Kind of like Superman's dad's place on Krypton.
17
[On the phone with his ex-wife] Rafe Guttman: I gotta go. Fuck you. [hangs up]
18
Rafe Guttman: Sorry Katherine, but that wasn't your brother anymore. Caleb: Wrong! I'll always be your brother, sis. Rafe Guttman: Katherine, run from your brother.
19
Miguel: [to Vincent] You drive us all the way to the end of the earth... for a fuckin' stiff?!
20
[Katherine attempts to swing on a chain from one platform to another.] Rafe: That is the craziest fuckin' thing I've... [Rafe attempts to leave, but sees the Vampire Caleb following close, and returns to Katherine] Rafe: That is the second craziest fuckin' thing I've...
21
[A vampire bursts into flames after being squirted with Holy water] Rafe Guttman: Cha-Ching!
22
Rafe: [after finding and confronting Rev. Current in the bordello] Come on, Rev, I'm feeling a little jumpy - friend or foe?
23
Rafe: [to Police Deputy Noonan] You know, Noonan, you don't wear irony too well. Why don't you leave that to the big boys, okay?
24
Noonan: [after Rafe wakes up in the hospital] It's about fucking time! Rafe: I've gone to hell and it's worse than I thought? Noonan, where am I?
25
Rafe: [after Tamara stands in front of window letting in sunlight] Tammy! Tell me again why vampires hate sunlight?
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