[Mrs. Dittmeyer tucks mail into Greg's pants] Mrs. Dena Dittmeyer: My, you've gotten so big. You're almost as big as your daddy. Greg Brady: And I'm still growing. Mrs. Dena Dittmeyer: Right before my very eyes.
(3 votes)
2
[Doug kisses Marcia] Marcia Brady: Doug! I think I just felt your tongue in my mouth. Doug: It's called a french kiss. Marcia Brady: But I thought you were from Nebraska!
3
Mike Brady: Put on your Sunday best kids; we're going to Sears!
4
Charlie: Hey, I heard what you said, Doug, and I'm not gonna let you talk to Marcia like that. Doug: Yeah? Charlie: Yeah. Doug: Well, what are you gonna do about it, geek? Charlie: I'm gonna... lose... consciousness...
5
Charlie: Marcia, I think I just felt your tongue in my mouth. Marcia Brady: It's called a French kiss, Charlie. Charlie: Um, Marcia, I gotta go. Uh... Something suddenly came up.
6
Mike Brady: As a wise man once said, "Wherever you go, there you are."
7
[Sam gives Alice a bowling ball] Sam: When I saw it, I thought it was right up your alley. Alice: I'm bowled over.
8
Greg Brady: Hey there, groovy chicks. You're all hep in far out ways.
9
Bobby Brady: Excuse me, officers, but I hate to ask a law enforcement official to bend the rules, especially for Penal Code 117, Section 33b, but our house is at stake.
10
Mike Brady: Our house is more important than money. This neighborhood is more important than money. Tell me. How many times have we borrowed each other's power tools or patched up each other's kids? We know so much about each other. I know that every January, Mr. Yeager is going to have that big Super Bowl party at his house. We know that every spring, Mrs. Simmons is going to have the prettiest daffodils on the block. We know that at 10:15 every Saturday morning, Mrs. Topping likes to walk through her living room naked. Call me old-fashioned, but these things are important, and they're not for sale. This is our neighborhood, and we're staying.
11
Carol Brady: Tiger? Tiger? What ever happened to that dog?
12
Eric Dittmeyer: She's harder to get into than a Pearl Jam concert.
13
Marcia Brady: [after getting hit in the nose with a ball] Now I'll never be a teen model.
14
Doug: It's not your nose I'm after.
15
Jan Brady: [her inner voice talking] Let's knock over a 7-11!
16
Peter Brady: Wow, Holly. You're Ginger and Mary Ann combined.
17
Mr Dittmeyer: Why don't you hop back on the Swiss Miss package where you belong huh? Cindy Brady: Okay!
18
Cindy Brady: [lisping] My mommy asked me to ask you if you had any of our mail by mistake. Mr. Dittmeyer: Look, I don't understand you, what do you want? Cindy Brady: My mommy asked me to ask you if you had any of our mail by mistake. Mr. Dittmeyer: What? Cindy Brady: My mommy asked me to ask you if you had any of our mail by mistake. Mr. Dittmeyer: Nope, not a clue.
19
Marcia Brady: Oh those are pretty pictures, what have you modeled for? Model: Guess. Marcia Brady: Are you a Breck girl? Model: No, Guess Jeans. Marcia Brady: Levi's? Wrangler? Osh Kosh B'Gosh?
20
Holly: I think Peter's a babe... in a Gilligan sort of way.
21
Mike Brady: Cindy, you know by tattling on your friends, you're really just tattling on yourself. By tattling on your friends, you're just telling them that you're a tattletale. Now is that the tale you want to tell?
22
Carol Brady: Why don't you help Alice bake some cookies? Cindy Brady: Okay mommy [talking to Alice] Cindy Brady: Can my doll help too? Alice: As long as it's not Betsy Wetsy, she makes my cookies soggy woggy.
23
[Talking about the Brady's odd ways] Mr. Steve Yeager: One time I was over there. One bathroom for nine people? And I never did see a toilet. Woman next to Steve: Get out! Mr. Dittmeyer: STEVE!
24
[Noreen is in bed with Marcia] Marcia Brady: Noreen, is that you? Noreen: Oh, sorry, I thought that was my leg.
25
Doug: Marcia, got a minute? Marcia Brady: Forget it Doug. Even with a swollen nose, I can still smell a rat.
26
Mike Brady: Alone, we can only move buckets. But if we work together, we can drain rivers.
27
Mike Brady: I couldn't have put it better myself, Jan. But I'll try anyway.
28
Mrs. Cummings: Jan, come back when you're pregnant.
29
Jason: Marcia, I may be able to use you as a model, but first you'll have to do a little work on yourself. Marcia Brady: You mean like walking with a book on my head? Jason: No, I mean like cutting that mousy hair, capping those teeth, and losing about 30 pounds, my little sausage. How do you feel about breast implants? Marcia Brady: [slaps him] Cut my hair?
30
Peter Brady: If mom and dad have to sell the house, we'll have to move. Bobby Brady: Go to a new school. Jan Brady: Make new friends. Marcia Brady: But Jan, you don't have any friends.
31
Jan Brady: [her inner voice] She has every right to be mad; they are her socks. But why does Marcia get all the socks? Why does Marcia get all the trophies? Why does Marcia get all the good drawers? [out loud] Jan Brady: Yeah, why does Marcia get everything? Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!
32
Jan Brady: [her demonic inner voices] Watch my head spin! Kill! Kill! KILL! [out loud] Jan Brady: No, stop it! I can't take it anymore! [her demonic inner voices] Jan Brady: Ah, shut up you loser! Grandma: Jan, cut the crap! Jan Brady: They're gone! Thank you grandma!
33
Carol Brady: Marcia it looks like rain, you better take your shawl. How about you Doug? Do you have any protection? Doug: Oh, yes ma'am. Assorted colors and textures. Carol Brady: Good for you! Mike Brady: Have fun, kids.
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