Sgt. Siek: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for I am the baddest mother fucker in the valley
Sgt. Siek: The Bible says thou shalt not kill. Now hear this... FUCK THAT SHIT.
Troy: Welcome to The Suck.
Sgt. Siek: There is no bugle tryout! You sizzle dick motherfucker!
D.I. Fitch: And why the fuck did you join the Marines? Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: I got lost on the way to college, sir.
Sgt. Siek: I love this job. I thank God for every fucking day he gives me in the corps, oorah.
Kruger: [referring to photo of Swoff's girlfriend] I'm saving that one for later!
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: Whatever else he may do with his life-build a house, love a woman, change his son's diaper-he will always be a jarhead. And all the jarheads killing and dying, they will always be me. We are still in the desert.
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: Suggested techniques for the marine to use in the avoidance of boredom and loneliness. Masturbation. Re-reading of letters from unfaithful wives and girlfriends. Cleaning your rifle. Further masturbation. Re-wiring Walkman. Arguing about religion and meaning of life. Discussing in detail, every woman the marine has ever fucked. Debating differences, such as Cuban VS Mexican, Harlys VS Hondas, left VS right-handed masturbation. Further cleaning of rifle. Studying the mail-order bride catalogue. Further masturbation. Planning a marine's first meal on return home. Imagining what a marine's girlfriend and her man Jody are doing in the ally or in a hotel bed.
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: We call this friendly fire, friendly fucking, or getting friendly fucked.
Kruger: [after being offered nuts on an airplane] Excuse me, are these hot nuts? Stewardess: No. They're room temperature Kruger: [takes some nuts] Well, maybe later you can come by and warm up my nuts. Stewardess: I'm sorry, I don't like the small ones.
Troy: Fuck politics. We're here. All the rest is bullshit.
D.I. Fitch: Jesus Joseph and doggy-style Mary!
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: For most problems the Marine is issued a solution. If ill, go to sickbay. If wounded, call a Corpsman. If dead, report to graves registration. If losing his mind, however, no standard solution exists.
Fowler: [in showers, pointing at another marine] Hey, look! It's a cock, but smaller!
Cortez: Whatever, you squishy-faced retard. Fowler: [dead serious] Don't ever call me squishy-face!
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: Every war is different, every war is the same.
Sgt. Siek: [Sgt. Seik is directing the recruits on how to judge distances] Use something that you know the distance of, compare how many of them would make up the unknown distance and multiply. Do *not* use your dicks, an inch and a half into six-hundred yards: I can't count that high!
Fergus: [after seeing pictures of Swofford's girlfriend in his USMC shirt] She have her own clothes?
[in an NBC suit] Troy: [in a Darth Vader voice] Luke, come over to the Dark Side.
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: I wanted the pink mist.
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: I am 20 years old was and stupid enough to sign a contract.
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: [seeing the flames of the burning oil fields] The Earth is bleeding.
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: The Drill Instructor looks fabulous in his uniform, sir!
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: I was hooked.
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: [the Doors' "The End" being played on a flying by helicopter] That's Vietnam music... can't we get our own music?
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: We are still in the desert
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: You poor bastard. I bet your recruiter promised you a whole wide world of pussy, huh? Kruger: Fuckin' eh. Cocksucker knew the price of every whore from Langholm to Stockholm. Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: And here we are - no pussy and a thousand miles. Kruger: Fucked by the green weenie again! Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: Well, what would you be doing if you were a civilian? Staying up late, jacking off, playing Metroid - trying to get to that ninth level? Troy: You know what happens when you get there? [laughs] Troy: Nothing. You just start all over again.
Lieutenant Colonel Kazinski: You know, I should really retire because I can't hear a fuckin' thing!
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