Thirteen (2003)

Thirteen: * out of ****

Directed by Catherine Hardwicke. Screenplay by Catherine Hardwicke and Nikki Reed. Starring Evan Rachel Wood, Nikki Redd, Holly Hunter, Jeremy Sisto and Deborah Unger.

by Andy Keast

"Thirteen" is a lame, exploitative (yes, the "e" word) film that wastes the talents of Holly Hunter and Deborah Unger and puts the career of a particularly untalented kid named Evan Rachel Wood into effect. The movie is rated R, a curious thing, given that you'd have to be among the most bird-brained and naive of adults in order to appreciate it's after-school special sensibilities. That previous sentence there is the one and only inspired thing about the movie.

It's essentially a Lifetime television movie told in a (yawn) "raw, edgy" style. To any would-be filmmakers who might be reading this, I give you these three words: *Use a tripod.* The gritty-realism train of nonsense is over. The raw, post-Harmony Korine school of filmmaking shouldn't impress an intelligent filmgoer anymore. Even more annoying: the movie was (surprise) apparently co-scripted by a 15-year-old girl named Nikki Reed. So as one could expect, nothing usable was written. Was I *supposed* to recoil in terror because her life experience thus far consisted of getting piercings, skipping school and doing drugs? Boy, I sure am grateful we have brave, original voices like Nikki Reed to expose such acts of deviance committed by young people (sarcasm). What a tremendous talent she must be (also sarcasm).

Like so many other "edgy, hip" movies, it falls prey to what I call the Dylan Syndrome: many people believe Bob Dylan can't sing, therefore his songs must be important and meaningful and deep, otherwise why listen to his music? You can liken that to most independent movies: there are so many working directors who cannot direct, write, edit, or even frame a shot, but critics and audiences routinely forgive those things because they're tackling supposedly "important" or "disturbing" subject matter, while hiding behind the "gritty, pseudo-documentary" approach. Cop-out.

If you want to see a timeless movie about teenage angst, go to your local video store and rent "Rebel Without a Cause." It works primarily because it doesn't constantly strive to shock the audience, and is actually written and directed with care and intelligence.

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X-RAMR-ID: 36844
X-Language: en
X-RT-ReviewID: 1240776
X-RT-TitleID: 1124997
X-RT-AuthorID: 9883
X-RT-RatingText: 1/4