HIGHLANDER: ENDGAME
RATING: 3/10 --> Crap on a stick
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And just when you thought JoBlo was getting a little soft around the
corners, not rating anything lower than your standard "this movie sucks",
along comes this cinematic atrocity and he's forced to take out his secret
weapon and spray it with a stench so thick, even the bravest movie-goer
would think twice about seeing this waste of time. Yes, despite being a
third sequel to a successful original movie, the latest HIGHLANDER doesn't
seem to have anything going for it. Oh stinky movie, let me count thee
ways...
PLOT:
(From what I understood) A really bad highlander dude comes to the present
looking to whack out the nice highlander dudes in order to gain their power
and become the mightiest immortal...or something along those lines.
CRITIQUE:
A complete and utter mess. Disjointed, incoherent, boring, corny, filled
with bad dialogue...and that's just the first thirty minutes! This film
doesn't seem to know what to do with itself. It's confusing to anyone who
doesn't know the series (I include myself in that group) and apparently
idiotic to those who do know the series (I include die-hard HIGHLANDER fan
The Arrow in that group). The film doesn't explain anything about
itself...it just goes from one inexplicable situation to another. One moment
they're in the present time, the next moment, they're in Italy in the 1600s.
Why? Who knows. What are they talking about? No idea. Flashbacks mixed in
with the present, mixed in with a few spontaneously cheesy fight sequences
every now and again, and I even remember seeing one flashback scene which
went even further into its own flashback scene!! Hullo...?!? Confused yet? I
was and I basically stopped giving a crap about anyone in the film when I
realized that neither the writer or director was interested in presenting me
with any kind of semblance of a story.
Random swordplay, Mad Max-like dudes showing up in motorcycles in the 1800s?
Or were they in the present at that time? Who knows...and to be honest...who
seriously cares! This series should have been shot in the head and put out
of its own misery a long time ago, but sadly, someone at the studio decided
that it still had a little life left in it. Please, please...for the love of
God and all that is holy in the world of movie-making, and mostly out of
respect for those who loved the original film, put this series to bed and
end it! Even Christopher Lambert knew enough to play second fiddle to Adrian
Paul in this one. The director also tries to do the best he can with the
muddled material, but all he could come up with is plenty of slo-mo action,
some fast-motion fight scenes and lots of smoke everywhere. And is there
anything spectacular about the sword-play or fight scenes? Nope. And I think
we all could have done without all those zooming Lambert face
close-ups...yipes, the man is not aging gracefully, is he? Oh boy, and I
haven't even gotten around to the greatest piece of over-acting that I've
seen in years. The man who plays Kell in this movie, Bruce Payne, should get
a ham trophy for literally chewing up every piece of scenery that he gets
near. Overacting is not a hobby for this guy...it's a living! He's also very
funny, not purposely though. All in all, the movie stinks. Nuff said.
Review Date: August 28, 2000
Director: Douglas Aarniokoski
Writer: Joel Soisson
Producers: Peter S. Davis and William N. Panzer
Actors: Adrian Paul as Duncan McLeod
Christopher Lambert as Connor McLeod
Bruce Payne as Kell
Genre: Fantasy
Year of Release: 2000
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(c) 2000 Berge Garabedian
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