Jeff: Hey, dipshit, what the fuck? Bert: What are you, fuckin' Smokey the Clown now? Jeff: Don't you mean 'Smokey the Bear?'
(25 votes)
2
[Bert leaves the cabin with a rifle] Karen: Bert, what the hell is that? Bert: Huh? Oh, I'm gonna go shoot some squirrels. Paul: Why would you wanna kill squirrels? Bert: 'cause they're gay. Karen: Bert, don't be a fucking retard. Bert: I'm kidding. I don't care if they're gay or straight, I'll kill 'em either way.
(24 votes)
3
Bert: God damn it! What pancakes, you fuck?
(23 votes)
4
Bert: Goodnight, fucker.
(22 votes)
5
Karen: That guy asked for our help. We lit him on fire. You'll understand if I'm not in a particularly social mood.
(20 votes)
6
Paul: So, what's the fox urine for? Old Man Cadwell: Oh that's for foxes. Karen: What's the rifle for? Old Man Cadwell: That's for niggers.
(3 votes)
7
Tommy: Boy, you wanna give me one good reason why you would steal a snickers bar. Bert: The nougat?
8
Justin: Yeah, he's a professor... OF BEING A DOG! OOOH, FACED!... Scratch moded!
9
[Group is sitting around a campfire, telling stories] Jeff: Tell them about The Happy Bald Guy. Karen: No, I can't take it Paul: He was the guy that gave us our shoes and quarters for the video games. There was a room with a pool table too, but my dad wouldn't let us go back there. The bald guy was always happy, always smiling. But the killer got him too. When the cops searched the place, they found all the hacked off limbs at the end of the bowling lanes. The guy had bowled people's organs. Arms, legs, everything. They found the bald guy's head in the ball return. He was still smiling.
10
Marcy: That's not funny, Bert. Bert: Yes it is, you fuckin slut.
11
Jeff: I don't want any of us getting sick, but you two fuckin' fuckers insist on touching her, now she's bleeding all over both you guys! So you two can fuckin rot, but not me, no fuckin way not me! [Jeff runs off carrying beer]
12
[Jeff walks around the cabin after everyone dies] Jeff: [yelling] I made it! I made it! I knew I'd make it! I fucking made it!
13
Dennis: Pancakes. Pancakes! Bert: No pancakes. Dennis: PANCAKES! Bert: No pancakes!
14
[last lines] Old Man Cadwell: Hi, my nigga, how are you? Ray Shawn: What's up, nigga? What you doin? Where ya been, man, where ya been?
15
Paul: Hey, where are you going? Karen: Where does it look like I'm going? Paul: But, well, I thought we were kissing. Karen: Yeah, we were, weren't we? Paul: So... you like me now? Like, is this a date? Karen: Don't be gay.
16
Tommy: You bein' sick, that's your problem. Now Dennis is sick, that's my problem. And if I get sick, that's Lucille's problem. So we gotta stop the problem. We gotta stop the problem *right* now! [shouts] Tommy: Fenster, rifle!
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