Walter: I thought I told you to get a haircut. Valdine: Oh, give Gilly a break, he's been through a lot. Walter: Yeah, including his own sister.
(83 votes)
2
Mr. Campisi: Pancakes. Pancakes. Pancakes.
(75 votes)
3
Mr. Murphy: Oh me and my wife had a great sex life, we use to have sex once a week. but then she died... then it was 3 or 4 times a week.
(72 votes)
4
Walter: Do you know what the Bible says about fucking your own sister? Don't.
(68 votes)
5
Indian Man: In My Country, for Violating sacred beast you get beaten to death with bamboo stick.
(73 votes)
6
Jimmy Mitchelson: He wants to marry his sister. Freddy: He better not come back. Jimmy Mitchelson: Yeah, that's right, or we'll tie you to a tree, fuck you in the ass while we jerk you off. Show you what we really do to perverts around here.
(5 votes)
7
Valdine: Sweet Lord. You ponied your sister.
(1 vote)
8
Larry Falwell: You know what it feels like when newspapers call you the boss of a sister fucker? The whole damn town thinks I'm runnin' a "sisterfuckeria."
(1 vote)
9
Dig McCaffrey: Now, be a friend and fetch my getaway sticks, daddy. Gilbert Noble: Your what? Dig McCaffrey: My legs, captain. My legs. Gilbert Noble: Oh, shit. Dig McCaffrey: Less feces, more fetchin'. Get over here and get it, boy.
(1 vote)
10
Josephine Wingfield: Would you like the standard bikini wax? Mrs. Hartunian: Oh, no. I'm going to Hawaii with my husband. Better landscape the whole yard.
(1 vote)
11
Walter: I'm surprised she didn't give up the sausage and become a vagina-tarian.
12
Mr. Campisi: Hey, are you the pancake guy?
13
Dig McCaffrey: Listen. I would've sprung you sooner, but after I ate all that weed, it took me two days just to pass the stems.
14
Gilbert Noble: Jo, listen. I got great news. I, uh - I found Leon. I found Leon, and I got him dead to rights. Josephine Wingfield: That's great, Gilly. Now, why don't you just pull your arm out of Leon's butt, and we'll take a drive to the hospital.
15
Dig McCaffrey: Jack Mitchelson got millions from his daddy. He's what we call a multi-millionaire. And in my experience, women like dead presidents more than broke boyfriends. No romance without finance, daddy.
16
Dig McCaffrey: Well, ship my ass to big Red China. They want the white boy.
17
Streak: You got any naked pictures of your sister? [chuckling] Gilbert Noble: Of course not. Streak: Wanna buy some?
18
Valdine: Old R2D2 couldn't keep it in his pants back then. And now he can't even wipe his own ass.
19
Larry Falwell: I mean this is the kinda think that makes a man wanta bludgeon his family and go on a three-day drunk. Gilbert Noble: That's pretty serious talk, Larry. Maybe you should be speaking to a professional about these things. Larry Falwell: You mean a hit man? Now, that's the easiest way to get caught. Unless you did it? Gilbert Noble: I was talking about a shrink, Larry. Larry Falwell: Get real... that's for crazy people.
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