[to Natalie, Brenda, Paul, and Sasha] Parker: Don't you guys get it? Come on, it's just like that urban legend. Natalie: What are you talking about? Parker: You know the story, A boy and a girl, parked out in the woods, making out... Brenda: [to Natalie] You made out with him?
(24 votes)
2
Dean Adams: Missing? He's not missing! It's the weekend. He's most likley shacked up in some motel with a girl. Or a guy... farm animal... whatever! Weren't you ever eighteen? Reese Wilson: Not that kind of eighteen.
(24 votes)
3
Parker: Please, Damon is the biggest practical joker I know. He once convinced a sophomore that he was the middle Hanson brother just so he could get laid.
(21 votes)
4
Damon: Hey, we're going down to Parker's dorm. Hootie's gonna pierce his nose. Natalie: Hootie's a dog, Damon. Damon: That's no reason why he can't be hip.
(21 votes)
5
Sasha: Spit it out Felicia. Felicia: Thats just the problem, I didn't.
(20 votes)
6
Brenda: [stabbing Natalie with the scalpel] Is this the kidney? Or is that the Liver? Oh, I'm just gonna grab it! [Brenda digs the scalpel in deeper, but Reese bursts through the door with her gun aimed at Brenda] Reese Wilson: Drop the weapon! Brenda: [turns around and sees Reese] Oh great! Rent-a-cop to the rescue. Reese Wilson: Move over the the window, now, you loony psycho bitch!
7
Bitchy Girl: [watching 'Tosh's' dead body being carried out on a stretcher] You should check her pulse, she's been like that for years.
8
Natalie: Brenda, you need help. Brenda: I have already tried therapy! Obviously, it did me no good, Natalie.
9
Brenda: I must say, Natalie, you have proven your friendship to me. Coming all the way out here without even a little pepper spray to defend yourself with.
10
Parker: [to Paul] If we ever have another E. Coli crisis in the cafeteria, I want you to have the biggest, juiciest burger. My treat.
11
Damon: I'll see you two in class tomorrow. Brenda: Unfortunately!
12
Natalie: Someone's taking all of these urban legends, and making them reality.
13
Natalie: You're fucking crazy! Brenda: I prefer the term "eccentric". But, yeah, I guess I'm a little "nutty".
14
Brenda: Don't you want to be an urban legend, Nat? All your friends are now.
15
Tosh Guaneri: Shut off the fucking light!
16
Damon: Are you sure you don't wanna think this over? Cos, I'm all about you, Natalie. Natalie: One black eye or two Damon. You decide. Damon: Fine. I'm gonna go take a piss.
17
Professor William Wexler: Had those before? Brenda: Yeah. They're Pop Rocks; they crackle in your mouth. Professor William Wexler: Eat some... thirsty?... What's wrong? Something you might have heard about mixing Pop Rocks and Soda? Brenda: Well, supposedly, your stomach and your intestines and everything bursts.
18
Paul Gardener: Hey, how about some interviews? You know, students react to the tragedy on campus. Brenda: Okay. I am saddened, and moved by the tragic... Natalie: This was someone's life Paul. Did you even spend one minute thinking about that? Paul Gardener: No, I didn't. But because of my story, three-thousand five-hundred students will. I think that's enough to help me sleep at night.
19
Michael McDonnell, gas station attendant: Someone's in the back... SEAT!
20
Paul Gardener: How long have you been working here? Weird Janitor: Too damn long.
21
Natalie: [after previously walking in on Tosh having sex] Hey Tosh, sorry about last night. Tosh Guaneri: Yeah? Well, don't let it happen again. Natalie: [notices a tub of Lithium on the floor] Here you dropped these. [Tosh takes them and goes back to the internet. Natalie picks up the phone but it's dead as Tosh is online] Natalie: Umm... Tosh; excuse me. Tosh Guaneri: [angrily turns the computer out and puts out her cigarette] This is my phone-line too!
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