Kat Stratford: I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
(52 votes)
2
Michael: Sweet love, renew thy force. Patrick: Don't say shit like that to me. People can hear you.
(34 votes)
3
Kat Stratford: Tell me something true. Patrick: Something true... I hate peas. Kat Stratford: No, something real, something no one else knows. Patrick: Okay, you're sweet, and sexy, and completely hot for me.
(29 votes)
4
Kat Stratford: What is it, Asshole Day?
(33 votes)
5
Cameron: Well, you never know. Maybe she just needs a day to cool off. [they all duck as a soccer ball flies past them] Patrick: Maybe two.
(29 votes)
6
Patrick: What is it with this chick? She got beer-flavored nipples?
(5 votes)
7
Patrick: I thought you wanted out. Cameron: Yeah but uh... that was before she kissed me. Patrick: Where? Cameron: In the car.
(3 votes)
8
Cameron: I learned French for you!
(6 votes)
9
Walter Stratford: My insurance does not cover PMS! Kat Stratford: Tell them I had a seizure.
(2 votes)
10
Walter Stratford: Hello, Katarina. Make anybody cry today? Kat Stratford: Sadly, no. But it's only 4:30.
(2 votes)
11
Kat Stratford: Remove head from sphincter, then drive!
(2 votes)
12
[talking about the prom] Kat Stratford: Can you even imagine? Who the hell would go to that antiquated mating-ritual? Mandella: Um, I would, but I don't have a date. Kat Stratford: Do you really want to get all dressed up, so some Drakkar Noir-wearing dexter with a boner can feel you up while you're forced to listen to a band that, by definition, blows?
(2 votes)
13
Patrick: Hey there girly... how you doin'? Kat Stratford: Sweating like a pig actually and yourself? Patrick: Now there's a way to get a guys attention huh? Kat Stratford: My mission in life but obviously I struck your fancy so you see it worked... the world makes sense again.
(2 votes)
14
Bianca: Has the fact that you're completely psycho managed to escape your attention?
(3 votes)
15
Michael: I'm thinking about getting a Tercel. Yup, that's a Toyota.
(2 votes)
16
Cameron: I burn, I pine, I perish. Michael: Of course you do.
17
Chastity: I know you can be under whelmed, and you can be overwhelmed, but can you ever just be, like, whelmed? Bianca: I think you can in Europe.
18
Bianca: Are you asking me out? That's so cute. What's your name again?
19
Walter Stratford: I'm down, I've got the 411, and you are not going out and getting jiggy with some boy, I don't care how dope his ride is. My mama didn't raise no foo'!
20
Bianca: You don't buy black underwear unless you want somebody to see it.
21
Kat Stratford: You're not as vile as I thought you were.
22
Bianca: There's a difference between like and love. I mean I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack. Chastity: But I love my Skechers. Bianca: That's because you don't have a Prada backpack.
23
Michael: I have a dick on my face, don't I?
24
Michael: The shit hath hitith the fan... ith.
25
Walter Stratford: Where is she going? Kat Stratford: She's meeting bikers. Big ones. Full of sperm. Walter Stratford: Funny.
26
Walter Stratford: [Bianca and Chastity are sneaking past Bianca's father] Shoulda used the window. Bianca: Hi Daddy. Walter Stratford: Hi... where're we going? Bianca: Well, if you must know... a small study group with friends. Walter Stratford: Otherwise known as an orgy? Chastity: Mr. Stratford, it's just a party. Walter Stratford: And hell is just a sauna.
27
Patrick: Someone still has her panties in a twist. Kat Stratford: Don't think for one minute that you had any effect whatsoever on my panties. Patrick: Well then, what did I have an effect on? Kat Stratford: Other than my upchuck reflex, nothing.
28
Ms. Perky: People perceive you as somewhat... Kat Stratford: Tempestuous? Ms. Perky: "Heinous bitch" is the term used most often.
29
Kat Stratford: You don't always have to be what they want you to be. Bianca: I happen to like being adored, thank you!
30
Kat Stratford: Romantic? Hemingway? He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who squandered half of his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers.
31
Bianca: Where do you come from? Planet "Loser"? Kat Stratford: What, as opposed to Planet "Look At Me, Look At Me"?
32
Walter Stratford: I delivered a set of twins to a fifteen-year-old girl today, and you know what she said to me? Bianca: "I'm a crack-whore who should have made my sleazy boyfriend wear a condom"? Walter Stratford: Close, she said "I should have listened to my father." Bianca: She did not. Walter Stratford: Well, that's what should would have said if she wasn't so doped up.
33
Kat Stratford: You can't just buy me a guitar every time you screw up, you know. Patrick: Yeah I know. But then you know there's always drums, and bass, and maybe even one day a tambourine.
34
Joey: Hey, is your sister around? Kat Stratford: Stay away from my sister. Joey: Oh, I'll stay away from her, but I can't guarantee that she'll stay away from me.
35
Joey: Are you lost? Michael: No, actually I just came by to chat. Joey: We don't chat.
36
Walter Stratford: You're 18, you don't know what you want. And you won't know what you want 'til you're 45, and even if you get it, you'll be too old to use it.
37
Joey: [holding up headshots] Which one do you like better? Bianca: Hmm, I think I like the white shirt better. Joey: Yeah, it's more... Bianca: Pensive? Joey: Damn, I was going for thoughtful.
38
Kat Stratford: I'll let you get back to Reginald's quivering member. Ms. Perky: "Quivering member." I like that.
39
Bianca: Can we for two seconds forget the fact that you are severely unhinged and discuss my need for a night of teenage normalcy? Walter Stratford: What's normal? Those damn Dawson's River kids, sleeping in each other's beds and whatnot?
40
Bianca: But she is a mutant! What if she never dates? Walter Stratford: Then you'll never date. Oh, I like that.
41
[after purposefully crashing into a car] Kat Stratford: Whoops.
42
Bianca: You suck! Kat Stratford: You suck!
43
Kat Stratford: We'd be making a statement. Mandella: Oh goody, something new and different for us!
44
Mr. Morgan: All right, not that I give a damn but how was everybody's weekend? Joey: Oh I dunno, why don't you ask Kat? Mr. Morgan: Unless she kicked the crap outta your dumb butt, I don't wanna hear about it!
45
Mr. Morgan: Now go to the office - you're pissin' me off! Kat Stratford: What? Mr Morgan...! Mr. Morgan: - later. Joey: Thanks Mr. Morgan. Mr. Morgan: Shut up!
46
[Two guys are fighting in his house, making a mess] Bogie Lowenstien: Could you guys take this outside? [They smash through a window] Bogie Lowenstien: Thank you
47
Michael: And here we have the white Rasta's. Semi-political, but mostly... Cameron: Smoke a lot of weed?
48
Patrick: Well maybe you are not scared of me but I am sure you thought of me naked. Kat Stratford: [sarcastically] Am I that transparent? I *want* you, I *need* you, oh baby, oh baby.
49
Mr. Morgan: [after reading Shakespearean sonnet] Now. I know Shakespeare's a dead white guy, but he knows his shit, so we can overlook that. I want you all to right your own version of this sonnet. [Kat raises her hand in the background] Mr. Morgan: Yes, Ms. "I Have An Opinion About Everything"?
50
Michael: Okay I talked to her, I got the scoop. Cameron: What'd she say? Michael: "Hates him with the fire of a thousand suns." That's a direct quote. Patrick: Thanks Michael. That's very comforting of you.
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