Other Titles • Armageddon (1998) • Armageddon - Das jüngste Gericht (1998)
Quotes from Armageddon (1998)
1
Chick: I've never told anyone this before, but I hate flying. So it would be an awful shame to die now. Rockhound: You think that's bad? I owe 100 grand to a fat-ass loan shark which I spent on a stripper named Molly Mounds. Chick: Boy, that's bad.
(35 votes)
2
Lev Andropov: Don't touch my uncle! He is the genius of my family. He used to make the tip of the bomb, you know? That finds New York or Washington?
(34 votes)
3
[after escaping the Russian Space Station explosion] Freddy Noonan: Pretty intense, huh? Lev Andropov: That's why I told you to *touch nothing*... but you were all a bunch of cowboys!
(35 votes)
4
F.B.I. Agent: Sir, we have a national security matter. Rockhound: Good for you.
(35 votes)
5
Chick: Man, what are you doing with a gun in space?
(35 votes)
6
Ronald Quincy: I know the presidents' chief advisor, we were at MIT together. And, at this point in time, you really don't want to take advice from a man who got a C minus in astrophysics. The presidents' advisors are wrong. I am right.
(2 votes)
7
Harry Stamper: Houson, you have a problem. You see, I promised my little girl that I was coming home. Now I don't know WHAT you people are doing down there, but we've got a hole to dig up here!
(2 votes)
8
Harry Stamper: Come on, God, just a little help. It's all I'm asking. Max: I think we're close enough, He might have heard ya.
(2 votes)
9
Rockhound: You want to compare brainpans? I won the Westinghouse prize when I was 12, big deal. Published at 19, so what. I got a double doctorate from MIT at 22, Chemistry and Geology. I taught at Princton for two and a half years. Why do I do this? Because the money's good, the scenery changes and they let me use explosives, ok?
(1 vote)
10
Chick: Harry, the clock on that nine-foot nuclear weapon is ticking.
(1 vote)
11
Dan: So what's the verdict? Harry Stamper: They'll do it. They've made a few requests though. Dan: Such as? Harry Stamper: Well, there's uh, few things here [rifles through sheets of paper] Harry Stamper: ... nothing really big, uh, well as an example uh, Oscar here's got some outstanding parking tickets. Wants them wiped off his record... Oscar: [shouting from balcony] Fifty-six tickets in seven states... Harry Stamper: [to Oscar] I'll tell 'em Oscar, you got it. [to Truman] Harry Stamper: Uh, Noonan's got some women friends he'd like to see made American citizens no questions asked... Max would like you to... bring back eight-track tapes. Not sure if that's gonna work. Uhm, Bear would like to stay at the... [tries to read writing] Harry Stamper: "White horse"? [looks up at Bear] Bear: White, *House*. White House. Harry Stamper: White House yeah, he'd like to stay in the Lincoln bedroom of the White House for the summer. Stuff like that. Dan: Sure, I think we can take care of... some of that. Rockhound: [shouting from balcony] Harry! Harry Stamper: [Motions back at Rockhound] Yeah one more thing, uh... none of them wanna pay taxes again. [pause] Harry Stamper: Ever.
(1 vote)
12
Grace Stamper: You have not told them yet. That is my father up there! Dan: [to General Kimsey] This is one order you shouldn't follow and you fucking know it!
(2 votes)
13
A.J.: Have you ever heard of Evel Knievel? Lev Andropov: No, I never saw Star Wars.
14
Colonel William Sharp: Do you swear on your daughter's life, on my family's life, that you can hit that mark?
15
Grace Stamper: I understand that you are handicapped by a natural immaturity, and I forgive you.
16
President: We didn't see this thing coming? Dan: Well, our object collison budget's about a million dollars. That allows us to track about 3% of the sky, and beg'n your pardon sir, but it's a big-ass sky.
17
Rockhound: This is so much fun, it's freaky!
18
Rockhound: Well it's about time, I haven't thrown up in about an hour.
19
Harry Stamper: I'm not gonna kill him, I'm just gonna take a foot off of him. A man can work with one foot.
20
Harry Stamper: How long've you worked for me? A.J.: Five - wonderful - years. Harry Stamper: In five years you have never apologized to me this quickly. Something's going on here, I'm gonna find out what it is.
21
Max: God, it sucks up here.
22
General Kimsey: The fate of the planet is in the hands of a bunch of retards I wouldn't trust with a potato gun.
23
Grace Stamper: Listen, Harry, A.J. is my choice - my choice and not yours. Harry Stamper: He's the only one in your age bracket, Grace. That's not a choice, that's a lack of options.
24
Oscar: I'm great, I got that "excited/scared" feeling. Like 98% excited, 2% scared. Or maybe it's more. It could be, it could be 98% scared, 2% excited but that's what makes it so intense, it's so - confused. I can't really figure it out. [to NASA tech strapping him in] Oscar: Can you make mine really tight, cos I don't wanna fall out. I mean, almost to the point of cutting off circulation.
25
Harry Stamper: What's your contingency plan? Truman: Contingency plan? Harry Stamper: Your backup plan. You gotta have some kind of backup plan, right? Truman: No, we don't have a back up plan, this is, uh... Harry Stamper: And this is the best that you c - that the government, the *U.S. government* could come up with? I mean, you're NASA for crying out loud, you put a man on the moon, you're geniuses! You're the guys that're thinking shit up! I'm sure you got a team of men sitting around somewhere right now just thinking shit up and somebody backing them up! You're telling me you don't have a backup plan, that these eight boy scouts right here, that is the world's hope, that's what you're telling me? Truman: Yeah.
26
Harry Stamper: The United States Government just asked us to save the world. Anyone wanna say no? Chick: 20 years, I've never turned you down once. Not about to start now. I'm there.
27
Harry Stamper: I know you all have to go. We can wait for this thing to hit, killing everyone and everything we know. The United States just asked us to save the world. Does anyone want to say no? Chick: 30 years? Haven't turned you down once, about to say it now? I'm there. Freddy Noonan: Guess I can't let you go up there alone. Bear: I'm with you. Oscar: Hey, this is historic. Guys, this is deep blue hero stuff! Of course I'm in. Rockhound: Well, I don't know about him, but you know me. Beam me up, Scotty! Harry Stamper: What about you Max? Max: I...I...whatever you think? Harry Stamper: How about you? A.J.: I'm in. Harry Stamper: All right. We go. Rockhound: Pardon me for being the materialistic weasel of this group, but do we get hazard pay for this?
28
Karl: Sir, I'm retired navy, I know all about classified. But one more thing. The person who finds her gets to name her right? Dan: Yes, yes that's right, that's right. Karl: I wanna name her Dottie after my wife. She's a vicious life-sucking bitch from which there is no escape.
29
Rockhound: Guess what guys, it's time to embrace the horror! Look, we've got front row tickets to the end of the earth!
30
A.J.: You know what I was thinking? Grace Stamper: What? A.J.: I really don't think that the animal cracker qualifies as a cracker. Grace Stamper: Why? A.J.: Well cause it's sweet, which to me suggests cookie, I mean well putting cheese on something is sort of a defining characteristic of what makes a cracker a cracker. I don't know why I thought of that, i just... Grace Stamper: Baby, you have such sweet pillow talk.
31
A.J.: Oh man. Well, we all gotta die, right? I'm the guy who gets to do it saving the world.
32
Sharp: It takes two people to fly this thing. Either we all stay and die, or you guys draw straws. Rockhound: I say we all stay and die. [pause, everyone looks at Rockhound] Rockhound: But that's me. Harry: Nobody's gonna draw straws. I'll stay and take care of it. Chick: Well, I can't live with that sort of thing. Harry: Nobody asked you if you could live with it, alright? Lev: Bullshit! No way I will let you volunteer for this, so I can go back to my home country like the man that didn't volunteer! No way! Bear: Hey man, let's draw, and see who's gonna stay up here and dance. Rockhound: Hey guys? I know you think I'm crazy right now but - I would really like this responsibility. Harry: Alright. Rockhound: I can do it! Harry: Let's just draw straws and get it over with. Chick: I ain't drawin' against you, Harry. Harry: Well, I'm gonna draw against you Chick, so you better just go ahead and do it. [They draw straws] Harry: [Lev looks at the straw he has drawn] Lev: Is this good, or bad? [A.J. has drawn the short straw] AJ: Oh man. Well, we all gotta die right? I'm the guy who gets to do it saving the world.
33
Lev Andropov: Excuse me, but I think I know how to fix this. Watts: Move it! You don't know the components! Lev Andropov: [annoyed] Components. American components, Russian Components, ALL MADE IN TAIWAN!
34
Colonel William Sharp: Miss Stamper? Colonel Willie Sharp, United States Airforce, ma'am. Requesting the permission to shake the hand of the daughter of the bravest man I've ever met.
35
Colonel William Sharp: United States astronauts train for years. You have twelve days.
36
Colonel William Sharp: Talk about the wrong stuff.
37
A.J.: You know it's all funny until somebody gets shot in the leg.
38
Grace Stamper: First time I got my period, Rock had to take me to Tai-Pei for Tampax. Then he had to show me how to use them. [Off Harry's stern look] Rockhound: I told her how to use them. I didn't show her, Harry.
39
Dr. Banks: [going through the roughnecks' medical reports] Fail. Fail. Impressively fail! One toxicology analysis revealed ketamin, that is a very powerful sedative! Harry: Sedatives are used all the time, doctor. Dr. Banks: Well this one's used on horses. Harry: Some of these guys are pretty big. Dr. Banks: [to Truman] I mean it'd normally take 18 months to train pre-screened, viable subjects for space travel! Dan: Can they *physically* survive the trip? That's all I need to know here, okay? Dr. Banks: Personally, I don't know how they survived the tests.
40
Oscar: This is deep blue hero stuff.
41
President: I address you tonight not as the President of the United States, not as a leader of a country, but as a citizen of humanity. We are faced with the very gravest of challenges. The Bible calls this day 'armageddon' - the end of all things. And yet, for the first time in the history of the planet, a species has the technology to prevent its own extinction. All of you praying with us tonight need to know that everything that can be done to prevent this disaster is being called into service. The human thirst for excellence, knowledge; every step up the ladder of science; every adventurous reach into space; all of our combined technologies and imaginations; even the wars that we've fought have provided us the tools to wage this terrible battle. Through all of the chaos that is our history; through all of the wrong and the discord; through all of the pain and he suffering; through all of our times, there is one thing that has nourished our souls, and elevated our species above its origins, and that is our courage. The dreams of an entire planet are focused tonight on those fourteen brave souls traveling into the heavens. And may we, citizens the world over, see these events through. God speed, and good luck to you.
42
[Rockhound is riding the bomb a la Dr. Strangelove] Colonel William Sharp: Get off... the nuclear... warhead.
43
Rockhound: God, I hate knowing everything.
44
Rockhound: You know we're sitting on four million pounds of fuel, one nuclear weapon and a thing that has 270,000 moving parts built by the lowest bidder. Makes you feel good, doesn't it?
45
Max: Something's wrong. Rockhound: Yeah man, it's ALL wrong. We shouldn't even be up here.
46
Rockhound: Wow. Got a great view of the Earth from here. Too bad we'll never set foot on her again.
47
Rockhound: I don't want to be the materialistic weasel here, but do you think we'll get hazard pay for this?
48
[reviewing the NASA test results for Harry's crew] Dr. Banks: One toxicology screen showed traces of ketamin. That is a very powerful sedative. Harry Stamper: Sedatives are often used, Doctor. Dr. Banks: Well this one's used on horses!
49
A.J.: If anybody's anybody, I'm Hans and you're Chewbacca. Oscar: Chewy? Have you ever seen Star Wars?
50
Chick: I just came here to drill. Helga the Nurse: Oh! so did I.
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