Vivian: Well, colour me happy! There's a sofa in here for two!
(30 votes)
2
Vivian: People put you down enough, you start to believe it. Edward Lewis: I think you are a very bright, very special woman. Vivian: The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?
(26 votes)
3
Vivian: That would make you a... lawyer. Edward Lewis: What makes you think I'm a lawyer? Vivian: You have that sharp, useless look about you.
(25 votes)
4
Edward Lewis: You and I are such similar creatures Vivian. We both screw people for money.
(25 votes)
5
Edward Lewis: I think we both know she's not my niece. Barney: Of course. Edward Lewis: And the reason I know that is that I'm an only child.
(19 votes)
6
[Kit is trying to cheer up Vivian] Vivian: Tell me one person who it's worked out for. Kit: What, you want me to name someone? You want like a name? Oh, God, the pressure of a name... I got it. Cindafuckin'rella
(10 votes)
7
Vivian: So, what's your name? Edward Lewis: Edward. Vivian: Really? That's my favorite name in the whole world.
(8 votes)
8
[At the beginning of the evening] Vivian: In case I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight.
9
[after negotiating three thousand dollars] Vivian: I would have stayed for two thousand. Edward Lewis: I would have paid four.
10
Vivian: I got red, I got green, I got yellow... I'm out of purple, but I do have one Gold Circle coin left... the condom of champions... the one and only... nothin' is gettin' through this sucker. Whaddya say, hmm?
11
[Kit is streetwalking] Kit: Hey yo, baby! Guy in car: How 'bout a freebie? It's my birthday. Kit: Dream on!
12
Kit: You should go for him. You look hot tonight. Don't take less than $100. Call me when you're through. Take care of you. Vivian: Take care of you.
13
[Vivian calls Kit] Vivian: I called and called, where were you last night? Kit: Ma?
14
Vivian: I appreciate this whole seduction thing you've got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I'm a sure thing.
15
Lady at polo match: Edward is our most eligible bachelor, everyone is trying to land him. Vivian: Oh, I'm not trying to land him, I'm just using him for sex.
16
Kit: I don't know. Maybe you could, like, buy a horse and some diamonds.
17
Edward Lewis: How much for the entire night? Vivian: Stay here? You couldn't afford it. Edward Lewis: Try me. Vivian: 300 dollars. Edward Lewis: Done! Thank you. Now we can relax.
18
Kit: Fifty bucks, Grandpa. For seventy-five, the wife can watch.
(1 vote)
19
Vivian: You know, you could pay me now, and break the ice.
20
Vivian: Can I call you Eddie? Edward Lewis: Not if you expect me to answer.
21
Edward Lewis: I told you not to pick up the phone. Vivian: Then stop calling me.
22
Mr. Hollister: Just how obscene an amount of cash are we talking about here? Profane or really offensive? Edward Lewis: Really offensive. Mr. Hollister: I like him so much.
23
[after meeting Vivian] Elizabeth Stuckey: She's wonderful! Where ever did you find her? Edward Lewis: 976-BABE.
24
Vivian: I'm gonna treat you so nice, you're never gonna let me go.
25
Vivian: You're late. Edward Lewis: You're stunning. Vivian: You're forgiven.
26
Old Lady at Opera: Did you like the opera, dear? Vivian: It was so good, I almost peed my pants! Edward Lewis: She said she liked it better than Pirates of Penzance.
27
Edward Lewis: So what happens after he climbs up and rescues her? Vivian: She rescues him right back.
28
Edward Lewis: You can't charge me for directions! Vivian: I can do anything I want to baby, I ain't lost.
29
Edward Lewis: A buffet of safety? Vivian: I'm a safety girl. [Edward stands up] Vivian: All right, let's get one of these on ya.
30
Edward Lewis: I never treated you like a prostitute. [Walks away] Vivian: You just did.
31
Philip Stuckey: He mortgaged everything he owns, right down to his underwear, to secure a loan from the bank.
32
Edward Lewis: What's your name? Vivian: What do you want it to be?
33
Edward Lewis: You make $100 an hour and you have a safety pin holding your boot up?
34
Edward Lewis: Oh, Phil! About your car. Philip Stuckey: Oh, God! What? Edward Lewis: It corners like it's on rails.
35
Shop assistant: Hello, can I help you? Vivian: I was in here yesterday, you wouldn't wait on me. Shop assistant: Oh. Vivian: You people work on commission, right? Shop assistant: Yeah. Vivian: Big mistake. Big. Huge. I have to go shopping now.
36
Vivian: [Vivian slips an escargot while having dinner with Edward and Mr. Morse] Oops... slippery little suckers.
37
Vivian: Are you sure you want me to stay the night? I mean, I could just pop ya real good and get outta here. Edward Lewis: No, I'd really like you to stay. I don't want to be alone tonight. Vivian: Is it your birthday? Edward Lewis: No, no. Not my birthday. Vivian: Oh. 'Cause you know, I've been the surprise at a lot of birthday parties. Edward Lewis: I'll bet you have.
38
[first lines] Magician at party: No matter what they say, it's all about money. So let's imagine, ladies, that you're a savings and loan officer. Watch - one, two, three; see, you've got it all, and we've got nothing. You've got all four, take a look.
39
[last lines] Happy Man: Welcome to Hollywood! What's your dream? Everybody comes here; this is Hollywood, land of dreams. Some dreams come true, some don't; but keep on dreamin' - this is Hollywood. Always time to dream, so keep on dreamin'.
40
Vivian: I want the fairy tale.
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